How To Win Friends and Influence people

How To Win Friends and Influence people

This book was written in 1936 by Dale Carnegie. Some of the terms and vocabulary used are dated but the advice and information can still be used today. It deals with communication with others and the need for all parties to be able to perceive the objective from the others' viewpoint. The perspective of the book is from a position of power or management but it can be useful to anyone that reads it. While this book is useful, it should be remembered it was written during a time when the people in the workforce had a very strong protestant work ethic socialized into them. The book is divided into four parts, and they are:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People. The next section is called: Six Ways to Make People Like You. The third chapter is titled: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking. The final segment is called: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. The titles to the sections are somewhat blunt and imply manipulation instead of understanding or compromise but the book stresses seeing things from the viewpoint of others and resolving conflict in mutually acceptable ways. The emphasis of the book is teaching the skills necessary to use the collaborating conflict style and behavior modification. The first section, Fundamental Techniques in Handling People, has three principles. 1) Don't criticize, condemn or complain; this is the most difficult one to manage. 2) Give honest, sincere appreciation. Everyone has some positive traits. 3) Arouse in the other person a desire to please. Using these principles promote the ability for the individuals to have an open, honest conversation.

This in turn creates a positive atmosphere for conflict resolution. The six principles of the second segment are, Six Ways to Make People Like You, 1) Be sincerely interested in other people. 2) Smile at people. 3) Remember and use a person's name. It relays a message. It tells people they are important to you. 4) Be a good listener and encourage other people to talk about themselves. 5) Talk in terms of the other person's interest. 6) Finally, make the other person feel important and do it honestly. The third section, How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, has twelve principles. 1) The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. 2) Show respect for the other person's ...

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...ve tried to use some of the advice from the book for problems which occur frequently. I have had some success using his advice. I have found no real support for his assumption that most people behave rationally or use logic as a tool for decision making. For example, absenteeism is a major problem. I have an employee that worked part-time. She supports herself and one child. She was calling off from work about once a week. She and I discussed this, she said she was having problems with her car and needed money to have it fixed. She asked for a loan to have her it repaired. She wanted to work an extra day every week until the loan was repaid. Her car is now running well but she still misses at least once a week.

Considering the loan payment that is withheld from her check, she is taking home less money than she did previously. I am sure she justifies this to herself in some manner but I fail to see any rational or logical explanation for her behavior. This book and others like it are used in seminars across the country for management training. Perhaps, the real purpose is to train management to work together in problem solving. That is where I have found it to be the most useful.