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The effects of financial problems in marriages
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Foundations for Strong Marriages
After reading several articles it is clear that a good marriage is only as good as its foundation. In addition, a strong and satisfying marriage establishes a firm foundation. Therefore, marriages have highly levels of positivity, empathy, commitment, acceptance, love and respect. These are some of the characteristics that researchers have found to be common in successful marriages. For example, the Sandoval’s their marriage is successful because they have a solid foundation. In other words, have a strong love map , share a bond of fondness and admiration toward each other. These factors are the result of their good marriage.
Positivity
According to Normal family process Driver, Tabaras ,Nahm and Gottman (2013), John Gottman , has found that the leading difference between stable and unstable marriages is the quantity of positive thoughts and actions partner engage in each other . For example, the Sandoval’s marriage both focuses on their positive interactions. On other hand, marriage that have negative interactions such as criticizing, demanding, holding grudges, name calling and ect. Their relationship tends to suffer. There is also marriages that do not have any negativity and this can also be a problem because, it means frustrations are being to discussed between the partners and therefore, unsettled tension is accumulating to both partners. It is clear that there must be a balance between both extremes. Some of the things the Sandoval’s do to keep a positivity in their marriage is: truly listening to each other needs, taking joy in each other’s achievements.
Empathy
Another factor that contributes to a solid foundation for happy marriages is empathy. This factor basically means under...
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...onflict Women tend to express more how they feel while men are more inside. When men close down and suppress their feelings, women often become more insistent that they discuss the issue that have been raised and therefore, men only want to withdraw more (Baucom at el, 2008). These various modes of interacting can lead to frustration and misunderstandings. To overcome frustration with communication styles, it is important is important for both partners to improve the way they deal with conflict.
Characteristics of Solid Marriage
Marriage education can help to obtain a solid marriage. In addition, not only will it help with expectation but also navigating adjustment to marriage. The secret to maintain a healthy marriage is having strong communication skills, good conflict resolution, sexual relation, and strong relationship with in-laws and being financially stable.
While marriage is still quite alive, the rates are definitely declining. It is interesting to distinguish the qualities and characteristics of relationships between generations. At some point, marriage would succeed or fail depending on happiness and satisfaction of couples. Today, there is high expectation between couples. Arlene Skolnick talks about a few different topics one of them being “ For better and for Worst”. For this topic Arlene Skolnick talks about a sociologist Jesse Bernard argument that every marriage consists of two other marriages, his and hers, and how marriages typically favors men rather than the women. He sates that that the stresses that are experienced in a marriage come from expectations between the husband and wife. Anther topic Arlene Skolnick talks about is “Marriage is Movie, Not a Snapshot”. For this topic Arlene Skolnick talks a little about Heroclitis the ancient Greek philosopher saying of how “you can never step into the same river twice, because it is always moving” and how this is smaller to a marriage. Arlene Skolnick talks about a few different studies that where done over a short period of time demonstrating that families, marriages, and people can change over
A married couple may not always be the happiest couple even though it may seem that love is expressed in the relationship. Some marriages are meant to be while some are not. What causes a person to be dissatisfied with their marriage? Or how do external factors play a role on the outcome of a relationship? As for the case in "Holding Things Together" and "The Painted Door"; these short stories have a few similarities, but they also have many contrasting factors to take into consideration on why one couple is successful with there relationship while the other is not.
Gregory Corso’s poem “Marriage” is a beautiful, comic poem. The author is the main character and he is thinking about his future and the possibility of him getting married. He is trying to deeply think about all the possible scenarios he might face, he tries to think about the right decision to take in regard of him getting married or not getting married. So he takes a scientific approach to the dilemma, he first lays out all the possible options he has, and then he simulates every decision in his mind and tries to realize its consequences.
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
Having a family is no easy task, especially when you are faced with many challenges that are unforeseen. Sometimes one imagines or hopes for an ideal family. The ideal family would consist of a spouse, one or two kids and live happily with little to no conflicts. The reality is that even if one tries to avoid conflict by all possible means, conflict is inevitable. Stressors and strengths within a family can be seen in almost every situation. Although stressors tend to be more noticeable than the strengths. Some of which will be discussed later on, although it will be mainly focused on the strength and stressors faced after a divorce for children. But if one focuses on the stressors more than the strengths, one will only see stressors rather than solutions.
book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, the author writes about the importance of communicating with your spouse in a language that fulfills their love tank. Throughout the book he uses real life scenarios in couples to help them examine what their primary love language is through various acts and experiments. Love and marriage are the primary topics of the book, and the author illustrates how to understand their construction, and how they function in society. Love is needed in all areas to fulfill the needs of a human and to succeed in marriage. Society plays a big role on ideal marriages and how it should be based on the defined responsibilities and rights of husbands and wives.
Marital satisfaction and other related contacts (e.g., marital adjustment, marital quality, and marital happiness) are studied widely by family researchers. However, there is no consensus regarding their definition and measurement. Some scholars have argued that these constmcts are not synonymous (e.g., Heyman, Sayers, & Bellack, 1994;
" Family Relations 52.4 (2003): 363-72. Print. Hanson, Richard R. "Optimizing Marital Success: The Conscious Couple Uniting Process. "
In today’s society we think of marriage as a dating game, once we get tired we leave. In my opinion, people are marrying for the wrong reasons and that’s one of the reasons why we marital unhappiness. Speaking from someone who’s married, there will be times that you want to throw in the towel but it’s up to you and your spouse to fight for your marriage. Other reasons that can contribute to an unhappy marriage is a lack of spontaneity, lack of romance, terrible sex life, no time to give each other attention and communication. Loh states when everyday life has become so intrusive, when both parents work out of the home, the circumstances that allow for intimacy and passion are imperiled (Fortini 501). In a nutshell, marriage takes sacrifice (lots of it) and appreciation of one
Marital satisfaction, something that everyone would like to find an equation for, is the goal that all married couplesnaturally wish to achieve. Since marital satisfaction obviously has a direct relationship to marital stability, the more satisfaction that is achieved within a marriage, the more stable and more positive the relationship. This stability is accomplished through hard work and communication between the partners, and a mutual understanding of what part each must play in the relationship.
...a meaningful communication to take place. In conclusion, there are differences between men and women that go beyond social nurture. These differences have their origin in their genes. The differences evident in men and women are translated in their behavior and communication. There are possibilities of these differences in their turn raising the problem of failing to understand one another because in a communication men and women have a different set of expectations from each other. It is essential to understand and appreciate these differences for a meaningful communication to take place.
Human institution are not perfect, so is married couples. Effective interpersonal communication is essential in resolving frequent problem that arise from every human marriage.
When we think of marriage, the first thing that comes to mind is having a lasting relationship. Marriage is a commitment of two people to one another and to each other?s family, bonded by holy matrimony. When a couple plans to marry, they think of raising a family together, dedicating their life to each other. That?s the circle of life--our natural instinct to live and produce children and have those children demonstrate your own good morals. I have never been married; but I don?t understand why when two people get married and vow to be together for richer and poorer, better or worse, decide to just forget about that commitment. A marriage should be the most important decision a person makes in his or her life.
Many people main life dream is to marry the person they have fall in love with someday. However, most of the time, this dream can be shattered. When the expectations they have for the relationship are not met, the marriage starting to fail and the end result can be devastating. When two people make a commitment to live with each order happily ever after, the worst thing that can happen is to deal with divorce. Therefore, there could be numerous factors or causes contributing to the end of a matrimonial union between two persons, such as lack of communication, infidelity and financial issues.
The fourth and final step of the marriage process is to become one flesh. According to free dictionary.com, become means “to grow or come to be,” or “to be appropriate or suitable; to develop or grow into; to be appropriate; befit.” Becoming is a process that takes time and work. Tim Keller states that in order to call a union marriage, “sex is understood as both a sign of that personal, legal union and a means to accomplish it. The Bible says don’t unite with someone physically unless you are also willing to unite with the person emotionally, personally, socially, economically, and legally. Don’t become physically naked and vulnerable to the another person without becoming vulnerable in every other way, because you have given up your freedom and bound yourself in marriage.” (Keller pg. 215) God’s design is supposed to occur on the wedding night as they complete their marriage vows by having sex. It is clear that “they will become one flesh” is a indirect term for sex but it is also more than sex. The become one is to be on the same page, mind and accord. It is correct to compare it to one brain, making one decision and taking one action. Together one path, and they share one authority, one heart, one body, one mind, one thought, one church, and one God. The spouses become one flesh in every sense of the word. All these areas of oneness are important because division in any of them will cause them to stumble.