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Communication skills:quizlet
Factors that can affect enhancing communication skills
Factors that can affect enhancing communication skills
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SUMMARY
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
Gottman (1999) conveys that the integration of active listening and conflict resolution techniques is not sufficient to safeguard marriages from a probable divorce. Due to that couples who develop throughout the years a high level of
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Gottman’s Seven Principles are: Enhance Your Love Maps, Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration, Turn Toward each Other Instead of Away, Let Your Partner Influence You, Solve your Solvable Problems, Overcome Gridlock and Create Shared Meaning. These seven principles are crucial since they emphasize and reinforce positive techniques that can be integrated into the relationship to overcome the difficult stages. According to Gottman, emotional intelligence is the key that can bond couples together eradicating the possibility of a …show more content…
Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has, helped understand better the dynamic within my marriage. I am the type of person who does not like to speak about personal problems with anyone, let alone a stranger. My husband and I seek marriage counseling about two years ago. However, after four sessions I decided to stop attending. I felt that the listening and the expressing of our feelings was not helping in mending our relationship instead, I felt more resentful. I could not understand why I felt that way when everyone kept telling me that therapy is the best thing to do to work out our
Research of literature depends on the theory or topic one is researching. Research uncovers what the author knows about his or her discipline and its practices. Augustus Napier is a family therapist with vast experience in family therapeutic processes and experiential therapy with couples. In my research of his background, I reviewed his book “The Family Crucible.” In this text, Dr. Napier chronicles the therapeutic process of one fictitious family (which is a composite of real cases) experiencing marital discord. In reviewing the case studies in this book, I gained insight into his style of the therapeutic process, which exposed Dr. Napier’s framework which leads to his assumptions about marriage. The details of this case study coupled with Dr. Napier’s added paragraphs and chapters of analyses with his conclusions on the maladaptive reasons people marry other people make this resource of great qualitative value. Additionally, useful evaluative data revealing a deeper insight into Dr. Napier’s position on irreconcilable differences can be fo...
Along with these feelings of rejection, the spouse who wanted to stay married also often feels betrayed. Their partner vowed to love and honor them forever, and to stand by them in sickness and in health, and to devote their lives to them. With divorce, all of that is taken away. Those promises of love, fidelity, and companionship are broken, by the choice of the spouse pursuing the divorce. In contrast, when d...
In The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work there are seven myths and seven real truths about marriage. The first myth is that neuroses or personality problems will ruin a marriage. The truth about that myth is that we all have our crazy buttons or issues we’re not totally rational about, but they don't necessarily interfere with marriage. The key to a happy marriage isn't having a "normal" personality, but finding someone with whom you get along with. The second myth is that common interests keep you together. The truth is that it is a plus to have common interests with someone, but is all depends on how you interact with the other person while pursuing those interests. The third myth is the saying "You scratch my back and .....". The real truth about this myth is that it is only a truly unhappy marriage where this quid pro quo operates, where each partner feels the need to tally up things the other partner did. Married couples should just do things for one another because it feels positive to them and their spouse. If you keep score in marriage it shows there is an area of tension in your marriage.
There is no doubt that conflict occurs in every human institution including professional, unions, and educational and vocational environment. However effective exchange ideas through communication can greatly minimize the effects of marital conflict. Studies have suggested that couples remain married if they successfully manage their interpersonal communication on the basis of accommodating individual differences, problem resolving skills, forgiveness, collective decision making, empathy and above all positive conflict management.
Most studies in marital conflict pertain to three particular dimensions of communication. The first dimension is affect which refers to messages that express positive or negative feelings about another person, such as supportiveness, hostility, confirmation, coercion, sarcasm, or global positiveness or negativeness (e.g., Gottman, 1979 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). The second dimension to characterize conflict behaviors is whether they are constructive or destructive for the parties’ relationship. Research in the United States indicates that exiting from the relationship and neglecting the partner are destructive problem-solving responses and are more powerfully predictive of couple distress than giving voice to problems and being passive loyal (e.g., Rusbult, Johnson, & Morrow, 1986). The third dimension to characterize conflict management is engagement versus avoidance (e.g., Hocker and Wilmot, 1991 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). Engagement is reflected in direct, overt verbal confrontation of conflict issues, while conflict avoidance is reflected in withdrawal and aversion to dealing directly with conflict issues (Canary, Cupach, & Messman, 1995) and includes circumscribed, irrelevant, or ambiguous communication. Since the purpose of this study is to examine the effect of culture on marital conflict strategies and marital satisfaction, the discussion will be limited to the third dimension of marital conflict, engagement–avoidance, along with Rahim's styles of conflict.
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
The session starts by the therapist making introductions and gathering information as to problems, family structure, interests, and job responsibilities both within and outside of the family. These are all possible subjects to help open up discussion and ease the client into the therapy process (Rogers, 1946). Here, the therapist notes that the man is feeling out of his element, which he quickly admits to. The husband explains that he is used to dealing with issues himself, so that asking a third party for assistance is out of his comfort zone. The therapist seems to miss the man’s explanation for why he prefers to deal with issues on his own. After the therapi...
" Family Relations 52.4 (2003): 363-72. Print. Hanson, Richard R. "Optimizing Marital Success: The Conscious Couple Uniting Process. "
Lavner, J. A., & Bradbury, T. N. (2012). Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce?. Journal Of Family Psychology, 26(1), 1-10. doi:10.1037/a0025966
I have based my approach on the data that was presented to me through intake forms and viewing prior sessions with the couple. To protect the couple from any negative counter-transference, I filtered my observations through the theories of Gottman’s Married Couple Therapy (2008), Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (2008) (EFT), and David’s Integrated Model of Couple Therapy (2013a) (ICT). The bulk of this paper will then examine my therapeutic approach, the supporting theoretical concepts, and my strengths and weaknesses as a therapist during the session. The latter will include peer feedback, instructor feedback, and self-critique. This paper will conclude with a brief discussion of the future direction of therapy were I to remain their therapist.
No one expects to divorce when they get married but nearly half of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. Divorce can be costly, with court fees and attorneys. Dr. Doherty, noted marriage scholar and therapist has determined a list of risk factors that are attributed to marital problems and divorce. The first three: Young age, less education and less income are coincidently other topics brushed upon in this paper. Impulsive decisions made by younger people to marry leads to children which leads to financial instability. Once a couple has children, they are unlikely to further their education because of lack of time. Divorce also has a negative effect on
The techniques used in marriage and family counseling can be different. For instance, counselors will sometimes handle family therapy in different ways than they would couples or marital therapy. Both family and marriage c...
Surprisingly, the way that I found this book to be the most helpful, had nothing to do with my romantic relationships or my relationships with friends. Instead, I found this book very helpful with my relationship to myself. I suffer from depression, and I have always had a difficult time managing. I did not anticipate that a book concerned with solving relationship problems would be so helpful. I now recognize that a lot of problems in marriage can stem from the same types of negative thinking that influence depression. Chapter 13, “Changing You Own Distortions,” was a particularly helpful chapter in this area. In this chapter, Dr. Beck outlines nine steps for changing ones own thinking patterns. I have found these steps invaluable for aiding me in maintaining a positive outlook. I received more from this book than I ever expected.
Communication Patterns: How does it Contribute to Marital Adjustment?" Journal of marital and family therapy 25.2 (1999): 211-23. ProQuest Central. Web. 5 Mar. 2013.
communicate with your spouse about certain issues you feel you have then you will get