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Positive and negative effects of marriage
Negative effects in marriages
Negative effects in marriages
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According to financial expert Larry Burkett, eighty-five to ninety percent of surveyed couples claim finances were the main reason for their divorce (Rainey 19). Soaring over adultery, abuse, and incompatibility, financial problems are disintegrating marriages of all age groups in America. The Time magazine article, “Will the Market Kill Your Marriage?” contains three theories from different standpoints, offering explanations for dissolution caused by finances. The therapist theory claims that marital issues stem from hopelessness caused by financial stress. Secondly, the marriage counselor theory argues couples without former communication about money crumple when the funds start to fall. Lastly, the lawyer theory colorfully concludes that “money provides the soft fatty tissue that insulates the marital skeleton; once it’s cut back and people get a good look at the guts of their relationship, they want out” (Luscombe 6). Many financially struggling couples experience a combination of the causes, but no marriage is doomed. The couple should to band together and overcome these challenges.
Needless to say, men and women operate differently. The differences can be an outstanding positive in a relationship, but only if the couple works together and uses each other’s individual talents. Typically, women, as relationship-oriented beings, are more inclined to reason with emotion, while men tend to stick to logic. Couples can acquire cohesive, practical decisions by collaborating the two points of view (Dayton 20). When couples fail to heed to each other’s views, both spouses feel the pressure, but not as a team. This change of perspective is the leak that allows a flood of problems to soon roll into the marriage.
When faced with financ...
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...s, Hers or Ours?” Crown.org. Crown Financial Ministries, n.d. Web. 2 Oct. 2011.
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Landers, Ann. “Giving and Forgiving: Of Such Is Marriage.” Chicago Tribune 18 Oct. 1987. Web.
Luscombe, Belinda, and Lina Lofaro. “Will the Market Kill Your Marriage?” Time 3 Nov. 2008: 62-63. Academic Search Premiere. Web. 25 September 2011.
Rainey, Dennis. “How Do We Deal with Financial Difficulties?” Family Life.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 29 Sept. 2011.
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In her essay “The Myth of Coparenting: How it is supposed to be. How it is,” Hope Edelman discusses the issues that she faces when dealing with marriage roles. According to her descriptions, her husband doesn’t play an active role in their domestic life and only focuses on his career. Edelman often gets into arguments with him over his disinterest and lack of contribution to home life. She responds to this lack of interest by buying a swing set along with other items against the husband’s wishes. Similarly, Eric Bartels’ essay “My Problem with Her Anger” discusses the effects of marital roles from the husband’s perspective. He argues that although he is not the most active with domestic life, he does contribute. Bartels claims that his wife’s anger makes it hard for the family to function. Bartels proves his dedication to their family by showing how he gives up drinking beer in order to dedicate more time to helping out around the house. Both Edelman and Bartels express love for their children and frustration at their spouse. As a result of this, references to the swing set in Edelman’s essay and to beer in Bartels’ essay reveal that when there is a disagreement between the husband and wife in a marriage, it is possible that one of the partners will express their emotion through rebellion against his spouse
No one expects to divorce when they get married but nearly half of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. Divorce can be costly, with court fees and attorneys. Dr. Doherty, noted marriage scholar and therapist has determined a list of risk factors that are attributed to marital problems and divorce. The first three: Young age, less education and less income are coincidently other topics brushed upon in this paper. Impulsive decisions made by younger people to marry leads to children which leads to financial instability. Once a couple has children, they are unlikely to further their education because of lack of time. Divorce also has a negative effect on
"Why are Women Leaving Marriage in Droves?" Marriage. Copyright: 1998. Cyberwoman (30 Jan 1999) http://www.cyberparent.com/women/marriage1.htm
Bumpass LL, Sweet JA, Cherlin A. 1991. The role of cohabitation in declining rates of marriage. Demography 53:913 27
Ponzetti. (2003). International Encyclopedia of Marriage and Family. Ed. Vol. 1. 2nd ed. New York: Macmillan Reference USA, P 310-5.
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
“Like most wives of our generation, we’d contemplated eventual widowhood but never thought we’d end up divorced” (Hekker 278). Traditional wives married for love and to follow th...
Marriage was once for the sole purpose of procreation and financially intensives. Living up to the roles that society had placed on married couples, more so women, is no longer the goal in marriage. Being emotional satisfied, having a fulfilled sex life and earning money is more important in marriage (Cherlin, 2013). Couples no longer feel the obligation to put the needs of their partner in front of their own needs. In the 1960’s and later it was the woman’s job to ensure that the house was clean, the children were bathed and dinner was prepared before the husband came home work. However, once more and more women began to enter the workplace and gain more independence, a desire for self-development and shared roles in the household lead way the individualistic marriage that is present in today’s society (Cherlin,
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
" Family Relations 52.4 (2003): 363-72. Print. Hanson, Richard R. "Optimizing Marital Success: The Conscious Couple Uniting Process. "
Perceptions of financial well-being among American women in diverse families. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 31(1), 63-81. Sigelman, C., & Rider, E. (2013, 2009). Life-Span, Human Development and Development. Wadsworth:
One tough thing about today's American family is divorce. In 1816, one marriage out of one hundred ended in divorce. Then between the years 1869-1888, divorce increased up to one hundred and fifty percent. And the worse, between the years 1960-1980, the divorce rate increased up to two hundred and fifty percent. Divorce rates peaked in 1981 and then started to decline a little during the mid 1980's. However, divorce rates now are as high as they have ever been. Now fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. There are five reasons for the increase in divorce. The first reason is in modern societies; individual happiness is regarded to be important so when people are unhappy with their marriage, they break-up and split. The second reason is it is easier to get divorced financially. The third reason is that women's economic independence has contributed. The fourth reason is the stigma of divorce has lessened so people are not
In Chapter Two, Gray explores men's and women's values and their differences. He points out two very important negative factors that men and women often use, "Men mistakenly offer solutions and invalidate feelings while women offer unsolicited advice and direction" (Gray 17, 21). Likewise, most of men ...
The long-term success of marriage is measured by how effective and efficient individual couples exchange and express their feeling not only to address the problem that might arise but most important how they resolve it through
It is easy to understand why finances continue to be the leading cause of divorce, especially when many couples tend to overlook the practical aspects of marriage before combining everything as marital property.