Throughout the last half of the century, our society has watched the divorce rate of married couples skyrocket to numbers previously not seen. Although their has been a slight decline in divorce rates, “half of first marriages still were expected to dissolve before death.” (Stacy, 15, 1991) Whatever happened to that meaningful exchange of words, “until death do us part,” uttered by the bride and groom to each other on their wedding day? What could have been the cause of such inflated divorce rates? Perhaps young married couples are not mature enough to be engaged in such a trremendous responsibility, or, maybe, the couples really do not know each other as well as they thought. Possibly, they have been blinded by infatuation rather than by true love, or, quite simply, the couples mistakenly have different relational expectations.
Ultimately, all the possibilities point to one thing, which is a lack of communication. Somewhere along the line, there must have been a breakdown in the interpersonal communication process. Seemingly, the marital dyad has not used the correct communication patterns needed to sustain their relationship. In some way, each of them has notevaluated their partner carefully enough to ensure that this chosen individual is, in fact, truly their life long partner. By no means, is this the sole reason for divorce, but it certainly plays an enormous role. In fact, no one could ever pinpoint the exaact cause of divorce since each situation is unighu and is usually quite complicated. However, it would be unreasonable not to believe that interpersonal communication does not play an integral part in marital satisfaction. Since interpersonal communication affects almost all facets of a relationship, it has a huge impact on each and every part of both individuals’ lives.
Marital satisfaction, something that everyone would like to find an equation for, is the goal that all married couplesnaturally wish to achieve. Since marital satisfaction obviously has a direct relationship to marital stability, the more satisfaction that is achieved within a marriage, the more stable and more positive the relationship. This stability is accomplished through hard work and communication between the partners, and a mutual understanding of what part each must play in the relationship.
“Communication has often been cited as the ‘primary predictor’ to...
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...tionship. As with any relationship, marriage is no different. Each member of a marital dyad must have clearly defined, and understood communication between them. Satisfaction and stability in a marriage is achieved through communication and interaction between its members. A breakdown of interpersonal communication is positively related to dissatisfaction in a marriage.
How can this problem of dissatisfaction be taken care of before it begins to be a broplem within the dyad? Is it even a possibility to alleviate the rising divorce rate? Too many people are getting divorced today, and the institution of marriage is losing its meaning. It is no longer thought of as a bond, or a tie that keeps people together “till death do us part”.
I believe that by continuing research on marital stability and satisfaction many more questions will be answeres. Many more ways in which satisfaction is obtained will be uncovered as well. I know that there will never be an equation for marital satisfaction, but hopefully people will realize that communication is the key factor to having positive relationships. And by using good communication, satisfaction in those relationships will follow.
Marriage is something most people do but few do it well. If a couple is not looking at divorce papers that are probably seeking marriage counseling. If they are not screaming to the top of their lungs at each other they are probably sneaking out to lie in someone else’s arms. If they are not physically abusing one or the other they are probably being mentally abusive. If a couple is not saying hurtful things to each other they are probably not saying anything at all because why would they when the other is not going to listen anyways. We have all been in or seen relationships struggle with these kinds of things. This big question is where did they go wrong? I think the answer to that question lies in Matt Chandler’s book The Mingling of Souls. Chandler’s answer to the question above is that if a couple wants to have a truly successful marriage they must follow God’s design for marriage. Now Chandler is in no way implying that a couple will not struggle if they do it God’s way but they will be able to get through those struggles together. This review is not a summary of the book but it will discuss the strength and weaknesses of
The relationship between the husband and wife seems initially to be perfect. They both show each other expressions of love. There is understanding, harmony, financial security, and good communication between them. The couple spends a lot of time together, discussing future plans, and talking about the good moments they had in the past. However, behind all of this positive interaction between the two of them is something they are both not able
Along with these feelings of rejection, the spouse who wanted to stay married also often feels betrayed. Their partner vowed to love and honor them forever, and to stand by them in sickness and in health, and to devote their lives to them. With divorce, all of that is taken away. Those promises of love, fidelity, and companionship are broken, by the choice of the spouse pursuing the divorce. In contrast, when d...
Marriage is the legal or formally recognized union of a man and a woman, or two people or the same sex as partners in a relationship. Marriage rates in the United States have changed drastically since the last 90’s and early 2000 years (Cherlin 2004). Marital decline perspective and marital resilience perspective are the two primary perspectives and which we believe are the results from the decline. The marital decline perspective is the view that the American culture has become increasingly individualistic and preoccupied with personal happiness (Amato, 2004). The change in attitudes has changed the meaning of marriage as a whole, from a formal institution
Overall a major reason for divorce is the fact that men and women have very different conversational expectations. If men and women could put their conversational differences aside there would be less failed marriages. Until men and women figure out how to put aside the differences marriages will continue to fail in the future.
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
Marriage is a copmlicated but lovely bonding in which two individual spend their life with eachother and play a important role in meeting the demands of man and woman.(Berne,Steiner, Dusay, 1973). Marital conflicts happen when one or both people are self-centered. One selfishly wants what he wants without consideration for the capabilities, plans, or goals of his spouse. Researches has
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
Hanson, Richard R. "Optimizing Marital Success: The Conscious Couple Uniting Process." Humboldt Journal of Social Relations 32.1, TRANSLATIONAL APPLIED SOCIOLOGY (2009): 158-83. JSTOR.Web. 11 May 2014.
Lavner, J. A., & Bradbury, T. N. (2012). Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce?. Journal Of Family Psychology, 26(1), 1-10. doi:10.1037/a0025966
The long-term success of marriage is measured by how effective and efficient individual couples exchange and express their feeling not only to address the problem that might arise but most important how they resolve it through
The first significant cause for divorce is lack of communication. In a marriage, the lack of communication represents a major issue and can hinder the relationship badly. When couples are unable to communicate effectively their feeling or needs, they have become distant to each other emotionally and physically. Some couples do not create time to talk to one another. When a problem starts, which can soon become a bigger issue when ignored. When couples are unable to resol...
I believe, after only reading two chapters, this book is one that all educators need to read. There are so many great examples and ideas that could really help any educator. Unfortunately, I have witnessed far too many times the effects of educators being the disciplinary problem. I remember spending the whole class periods not learning anything because the teachers were trying to handle a minor problem that had escalated because of them. I even remember some teachers becoming furious and cursing at students for something so miniscule. In my experience, teachers who employ these types of strategies and characteristics are not respected by their students and therefore the students continue to act out and become unengaged. On the other hand, I have witnessed amazing teachers handle disciplinary issues with poise and dignity. I have seen, as the book suggested, teachers standing behind the students or tapping them lightly on their shoulder when they were engaging in off-task behaviors, which I have seen typically
According to C.M. Charles, the author of "Building Classroom Discipline," the definition of discipline is, "what teachers do to help students behave acceptably in school (1999,p3)." Discipline is associated to misbehavior, wherever misbehavior is found, and discipline is needed. The main goals of discipline are to prevent, suppress and redirect misbehavior. Students can also be cruel and disruptive, which can deny the purpose of learning in the classroom. Another goal of discipline is to help students control their own behavior in and outside the classroom (Charles, 1999). My own definition of discipline is using any means necessary to keep a classroom organized, productive and accessible for learning. Discipline is necessary in a classroom, to give students an opportunity to learn to there fullest. Without discipline, the classroom would be a place where teachers could not perform their job but a place for them to baby-sit misbehaved children.
There are several different models of classroom management, but there appears to be no collective agreement as to which one is the best. Because every student is different, students’ behavior should be addressed according to their specific need. Disruptive behaviors tend to be a result of a few causes. These causes tend to be either because the student is seeking attention trying to avoid failure, are angry, want to gain control of a situation, have too much unused energy, are feeling bored, or are uninformed. In studying the different methods that have been researched, I have settled on two that I would like to focus this paper, Discipline with dignity and Discipline through same side win-win strategies.