Self And The Ideal Self

The theory of self-discrepancy states that everyone has three different selves that include the ideal self, the actual self, and the ought self. According to Burger (2015), “the actual self contains all the information you have about the kind of person you are” (p. 425). In other words, the actual self is who you really are, or who you think that you really are. Burger describes the ideal self as “your mental image of the kind of person you would life to be” (p. 425). The ideal self is the person that you would ideally like to be. The third self is the ought self. Burger describes the ought self as “the self you believe you should be” (p. 425). Burger also states that “we often compare the way that we act. . . with the way we want to be. .

I would describe my ideal self as being: creative, healthy, active, successful, happy, respectful, decisive, more assertive, less awkward, confident, likeable, sociable, organized, logical, intelligent, reliable, altruistic, compassionate, trusting, and open-minded. My ought self includes being: happy, kind, healthy, altruistic, compassionate, polite, responsible, hard-working, sociable, open-minded, composed, intelligent, cooperative, credible, adaptable, informed, accessible, active, easygoing, and

For example, I see myself as being unorganized, anxious, indecisive, and stubborn. My ideal and ought lists are comprised of only positive aspects. One of the main differences between my actual self and my ideal and ought selves is that my actual self is less extroverted and sociable than I wish I were and I think that I should be. Words such as shy, quiet, and reserved are only on my actual self list and not on the other two. There is also overlap among the lists, for example my ought and ideal self lists both have the words altruistic and happy. I wish that I were altruistic and believe that I should be, but do not feel that I am actually altruistic. The word happy is striking to me, because I do feel happy, but I did not even think about putting it on the actual self list. I think that my actual self and ought self lists are more similar than my actual self and ideal self list is. Having these lists written out is eye opening, as I can see the way I think about who I actually am compared to who I think that I want to be and who I think that I should