Journal Article Review of Hall and Fincham The road to healing is a complex path. Many aspects are needed before any individual can put away a troubling incident. In many cases that may include regaining self-worth, self-control or resigning bitterness or fear. Within some of those cases, there may be the need to forgive someone, another person or oneself. Hall and Fincham (2005) were fascinated by the aspect of self-forgiveness in psychology and wrote “Self-forgiveness: The Stepchild of Forgiveness Research” as their way of exploring the nuances of the action of self-forgiveness. Highlighting areas for counselors to keep note of in their own sessions, Hall and Fincham define self-forgiveness and provide a detailed foundation for their self-forgiveness …show more content…
They began their article with expounding upon definitions of the concept of self-forgiveness. Hall and Fincham informed readers of the philosophical and psychological description before depicting their own which was defined as “a set of motivational changes whereby one becomes decreasingly motivated to avoid stimuli associated with the offense, decreasingly motivated retaliate against the self, and increasingly motivated to act benevolently toward the self (p. 622). The differences between these definitions centered primarily on the type of process of change. Hall and Fincham gave the theoretical definition that emphasized a lengthy period of heart change whereas the philosophical and psychological illustrations were reserved to the ultimate letting go and respecting self-focus. They added that within their definition there is the process of eventually returning to relative ease with the aspects of the offense such as the other person, the place, or memories. The authors also expounded upon the similarities and differences between self-forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness. SF and IF …show more content…
626). They defined this fake penitence as the lack of belief in real misbehavior and a failure to own those actions. Pseudo self-forgiveness can be an attractive option for some because it does not require the courage that true self forgiveness does (Hall and Fincham,
The essay "Forgiveness," written by June Callwood, explores the concept of forgiving and how it influences people's lives for the better. Her work describes many components of forgiveness, such as how difficult it can be to come to terms with, why it is such a crucial part of humanity, and how it affects all people. Her essay aims to prove that forgiveness is the key to living peacefully and explains specific examples of people who have encountered extremely difficult situations in their lives- all of whom found it within themselves to forgive. To clearly portray this message in her writing, Callwood uses several strategies. She includes fear inducing statistics, makes many references to famous events and leaders, and uses a serious convincing tone, all of which are very effective.
Life as we all know is full of disappointment and filled with disparity. Most of us are able to go through these and learn from and forgive ourselves. Yet, this isn’t always the case. People are faced with traumatic experiences that often take a long time to get over, if they ever do get over it. These experiences brew in our brain popping up at the most random points often bringing our spirits down. Although these experiences may scar us and fill us with regret and guilt, we can’t continue to live in the past and let these regrets haunt us. Self forgiveness is a key to healing and to moving on in life, no matter how hard it is.
—Forgiveness is a suite of prosocial motivational changes that happened after a person has incurred a transgression (McCullogh). McCullogh also asserts the forgiveness process includes empathy for the transgressor, generous attributions and appraisals regarding the transgression and transgressor, and rumination abalout the transgression where agreeableness takes a serious place in the person who needs to forgive someone. Andre was impressed by his father’s work, the emotion developed in Andre’s mind have given up revenge and resentment thought to his father. When Andre’s father had an accident that made his legs crushed and had to sit on a wheelchair for the rest of his life; Andre immediately felt how vulnerable people are. He cherished the relationship with his father, in fact after the accident Andre started to cherish everyone besides him. The accident was a trigger to a prosocial motivational change to Andre and his father’s relationship. “But deliver us from evil. Amen” (Dubus, 387). Andre prayed on his father’s funeral. Forgiveness needs something to trigger; Andre understand pop’s condition and forgave him. Andre knew that his father has done the best he could, and he was happy and grateful that he had a father. Moreover, Andre’s life was full of sports, the healing process was impacted by
The best revenge is your success, happiness, and the triumph of not giving vindictive people any dominion over your peace of mind. Forgiveness refers to the actor not the act. Not to the offense but the woundedness of the offender. You’re not excusing the behavior or returning to it, but grasping how emotionally crippled he or she is, a huge stretch of compassion, but the path to freedom. Forgiveness does more for you than anyone else because it liberates you from negativity and lets you move forward. ”.
Forgiveness is the process of acceptance and closure after being wronged by a person. At some point in everyone's life, there will be moments where forgiving someone just isn’t possible, but i t needs to be done. For everyone deserves a second chance every once in awhile.
It is amazing to know how much studies has been done and the good outcome of the practice on forgiveness intervention with the hope focused couple approach for 20 years (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). The FREE model is based on the forgiveness – based intervention that has been beneficial for many years to help the couple rekindle their love and forgive each other. It can be used with adults, parents, couples and adolescents.
This book explains all there is to know about the subject of forgiveness. It meticulously explains what forgiveness is, why it can be challenging, the psychological and spiritual benefits to forgiveness, how to forgive, and gives many examples of true forgiveness. The authors express in detail what true forgiveness looks like and how letting go of the pain others inflict upon you can provide a chance at renewing the relationship and healing. The book explains how unforgiveness can spin you into a traumatic cycle of hatred and bitterness and how to break the cycle, even in the most difficult of situations. McCullough, Sandage, and Worthington’s To Forgive is Human: How to Put Your Past in the Past was published in 1997 (InterVarsity Press [Downers
Resentment is like a prison. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." (Louis B. Smedes). Forgiveness will set you free. That type of hatred carries around where ever you go. Granting forgiveness to those who hurt us can bring tranquility. Such as Tan, as soon as she forgave her mother she felt peace, and I forgiving my sister took away the hurt. Some of the smartest men talk on the importance of forgiveness. Exoneration avoids a person turning cold and bitter. Abhorrence can lead to trying to want revenge. But what is better than being at peace with oneself. One must keep in mind that forgiveness is for the strong. Forgiveness builds character.
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feeling and attitude regarding an offense; let’s go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender. Walter (1984) stated that forgiveness is a voluntary process that usually requires courage and multiple acts of the will to complete. In Walters' view, the person who has been hurt has two alternatives: to be destroyed by resentment which leads to death, or to forgive which leads to healing and life. Sonja Lyubomirsky calls forgiveness is a natural resolution of the grief process, which is the necessary acknowledgment of pain and loss. It is a powerful choice that can lead to greater well being and better relationships.
Burgess, Olivia. "Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope, And: Total Forgiveness, And: Radical Forgiveness." Project MUSE. Johns Hopkins UP, 2010. Web. 19 Apr. 2014. .
Forgiveness is empathy. I believe it means, putting ones self in the position of the other person, and wiping away any sort of resentment and antagonism we feel toward them. Forgiveness is a journey to freedom. Forgiveness works directly on the emotion of anger, resentment, hostility, and hatred by diminishing its intensity or level within the mind and heart. Only the one who is wronged can forgive.
A strong Christian lesson on the true nature of forgiveness can be found in Christ’s Sermon on the Mount:
Hope, Donald. "The healing paradox of forgiveness." Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training 24.2 (1987): 240.
Acknowledging a wound that needs healing is important in this process. If you have truly forgiven, your scarred emotions get healed. Most times when you forgive your offenders, you often find that your wounds are still bleeding. Meanwhile, Forgiven someone does not mean that you have forgotten or that what they did was acceptable. What it does is that it frees us from anger that reacts like poison in our system. However, even if your brains recall the painful memory of past experience, you don’t feel any more of the sting of the pain and hurt of that experience. If you are able to look back at those painful memories and you don’t feel the pain anymore, then you know that you have truly forgiven, healed and made whole. You need time to work through your pain and loss. However, some offenses you encounter lead to a sense of loss of trust, security, friendship, relationship and a whole lots more. You may also lose your direction and forget the purpose and meaning of life when inflicted with pain through an offense. Sometimes you’re most horrible and painful experiences can teach your life valuable lessons, making you more insightful and stronger individual through them. Forgiveness is all about finding what was lost and restoring the wholeness that one once
Forgiveness is the act of releasing an offender of any wrong or hurt they may have caused you whether they deserve it or not. It is a decision to let go of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group of people. When we choose to forgive, we’re wiping the slate clean, cancelling a debt, or as I love to say, “Letting it go.” In the Bible, the Greek word for forgiveness literally means to “let it go.” This concept, “forgiveness,” is easier said than done. Majority of people find it very difficult to let go of offenses and hurts caused by others. I really do believe that most people desire to let it go, but we lack the knowledge of how to do it. As believers, we are instructed by God maintain an attitude of forgiveness.