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This book explains all there is to know about the subject of forgiveness. It meticulously explains what forgiveness is, why it can be challenging, the psychological and spiritual benefits to forgiveness, how to forgive, and gives many examples of true forgiveness. The authors express in detail what true forgiveness looks like and how letting go of the pain others inflict upon you can provide a chance at renewing the relationship and healing. The book explains how unforgiveness can spin you into a traumatic cycle of hatred and bitterness and how to break the cycle, even in the most difficult of situations. McCullough, Sandage, and Worthington’s To Forgive is Human: How to Put Your Past in the Past was published in 1997 (InterVarsity Press [Downers …show more content…
The authors explain the Fundamental Attribution Error, and how it corresponds with our perception of other people and our response when someone makes a mistake- yet given the same mistake but under our own guilt, we perceive ourselves as more worthy of forgiveness. I think this is a really important concept to understand forgiveness. The book offers four steps to “uproot” the fundamental attribution error. McCullough explains we must first “Consider your attributions about your offender.” This goes to say that there are most likely external factors to the way the offender acted and they probably didn’t hurt you because that’s part of their character. Secondly, “Consider your attributions about your own behavior.” Often times, you may come to realize that a situation could have been handled differently based on your reaction and whether or not you provoked your offender. Thirdly, “Take a moral inventory.” By this, the authors suggest you should think about hurtful thoughts or words you have said about other people. This brings realization that you too are flawed. And lastly, “Evaluate.” By this step you “develop a greater sense that you are as ‘responsible’ for your hurtful behavior as your offender is for his or hers” (pg. 136). Many times, we really just need to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and we will realize that often people really aren’t as bad as they seem. The book explains how regularly our barrier to …show more content…
The authors are clearly scholars in their field of psychology, speaking intelligently on a wide range of psychological concepts. Yet, their style remains conversational and easy to comprehend; it is not written is such a way as to come off as “over your head.” Their personal stories are at times humorous, often relatable, and completely helpful. Their collaboration on this book has sparked an interest to read other books written by McCullough, Sandage, and Worthington.
Michael McCullough, Ph. D., is a psychologist and author. He served as director of research for the National Institute for Healthcare Research (NIHR) in Rockville, Maryland. He is the director of an Evolution and Human Behavior Laboratory and Psychology professor at the University of Miami. He wrote: Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct, To Forgive Is Human: How to Put Your Past in the
The World of Psychology. (2002). A Pearson Education Company. Boston, MA: Samuel Wood & Ellen Green Wood p. 593
Forgiveness is crucial for a clear conscience and peace of mind for the both of them. However, all of this is arguable by the fact that today’s experiences are incomparable to those of Hitler’s times. One cannot begin to place one in each other’s shoes and know exactly how to respond to the events happening. One can only guess how they would respond, but until they are in that moment, all plausible reasoning can change. Nevertheless, forgiveness continues to be an aspect of everyday life in every century.
The essay "Forgiveness," written by June Callwood, explores the concept of forgiving and how it influences people's lives for the better. Her work describes many components of forgiveness, such as how difficult it can be to come to terms with, why it is such a crucial part of humanity, and how it affects all people. Her essay aims to prove that forgiveness is the key to living peacefully and explains specific examples of people who have encountered extremely difficult situations in their lives- all of whom found it within themselves to forgive. To clearly portray this message in her writing, Callwood uses several strategies. She includes fear inducing statistics, makes many references to famous events and leaders, and uses a serious convincing tone, all of which are very effective.
Life as we all know is full of disappointment and filled with disparity. Most of us are able to go through these and learn from and forgive ourselves. Yet, this isn’t always the case. People are faced with traumatic experiences that often take a long time to get over, if they ever do get over it. These experiences brew in our brain popping up at the most random points often bringing our spirits down. Although these experiences may scar us and fill us with regret and guilt, we can’t continue to live in the past and let these regrets haunt us. Self forgiveness is a key to healing and to moving on in life, no matter how hard it is.
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Waiten,W., (2007) Seventh Edition Psychology Themes and Variations. University of Nevada, Las Vegas: Thomson Wadsworth.
Gall, S. B., Beins, B., & Feldman, A. (2001). The gale encyclopedia of psychology. (2nd ed., pp. 271-273). Detroit, MI: Gale Group.
Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, 19 Oct. 2013. Web. 13 Apr. 2014. .
Hewstone, M. Fincham, F. and Foster, J (2005). Psychology. Oxford: The British Psychological Society, and Blackwell Publishing. P3-23.
Through my personal experience, I believe that forgiveness is key to healing oneself. One does not necessarily have to forget about the past but one should learn how to forgive the past. Without hardships and struggles, there will be no personal growth, development, and progression. It is important to acknowledge one’s pain and suffering and allow the past to strengthen one’s overall character. The process of healing may be tedious and difficult, but time will essentially heal a damaged and broken individual. Redemption is gained when one feels content with oneself and one’s overall
A strong Christian lesson on the true nature of forgiveness can be found in Christ’s Sermon on the Mount:
Forgiveness is a critical aspect that every Christian leader must learn. In our daily life we all experience a situation that creates animosity and discontent towards another person. No matter who is right or wrong, harboring feelings of contempt and anger are sure ways to make your life miserable. It is vital that we as Christian’s take the time to learn the importance of forgiving and reconciliation. In order to grow and prevent future conflicts, we must learn absolve and settle past situations. This paper will compare and contrast the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation when resolving conflicts as Christian leaders.
In a clinical setting, patients often suffer from a multitude of illnesses and bad experiences that lead them to look for external help. Many experiences that patients go through are very difficult socially, personally, and sometimes even mentally. Therefore, psychologists must look at the whole of the issue that may be causing an individual stress. The first concern of psychologists regarding forgiveness is the matter of whether it would even be safe for the patient to contact and forgive the wrong-doer. Much of therapy is concerned with making the patient feel better before anything else. For example, exposing a person to someone from their past that has hurt them physically and may try to hurt them again could be extremely dangerous. This is to say, forgiveness of a person that may still hurt them could be out of the question. Although it may be hard to forgive someone for the wrongs they have done to you, it may be extremely worthwhile from the psychologist’s perspective. According to Frise and McMinn, patients may benefit psychologically from forgiving the person that has wronged them because they can “release negative painful feelings and thoughts and move forward without the hindrance of unforgiveness” (2010). As you can see, psychologists work with more of a balance between the good of forgiveness and the harm that it can do to those that are not ready for
Edited by Raymond J. Corsini. Encyclopedia of Psychology, Second Edition, Volume 3. New York: John Wiley and Sons Inc.