Forgiveness a practice I have repeated Forgiveness is freedom. There is a key that opens the door to healing, happiness and peace, that key is forgiveness. Forgiveness starts from you and it is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Forgiveness of both self and others is the most powerful tool we have, and it is readily attainable to all of us .Take a step of creating a kinder humanity by forgiving someone in your life. If you are convinced and ready to forgive, you may be wondering where to start. My suggestion is to start small by letting go of the grudges, bitterness and anger. Forgiveness has set me free. My moments of the perpetual journey of repeated practice and willingness to forgive has I have also Learnt and accepted that the desire for revenge only brings heartache, turmoil and agitation, especially when we have experienced life filled with moments of pains and disappointments. Being on the receiving end of some unkind treatment, which was not always easy to just let go or move on-especially when you find yourself feeling maltreated and angered by trusted friends and family members. Then we become so afraid to make new friends and relationships because of our past experiences, which affect our lives. We try to protect ourselves by building a fence around us to avoid reoccurring offenses and to prevent people from getting close to us to avoid getting hurt again. Furthermore, we should learn how to embrace ourselves and place ourselves in a situation without stress, anger, regret, self-pity or judgement. Having realized that, if I have not forgiven, part of my inner strength would be caged in anger, resentment, pain or stress of some kind. Forgiveness has strengthened the goodness within me which has helped me to become more active in life. I have no shame or regrets in developing positive attitude over bad feelings. While others may not understand why I constantly forgive after being angry for such a long time, the healing power of forgiveness allows me to truly move Acknowledging a wound that needs healing is important in this process. If you have truly forgiven, your scarred emotions get healed. Most times when you forgive your offenders, you often find that your wounds are still bleeding. Meanwhile, Forgiven someone does not mean that you have forgotten or that what they did was acceptable. What it does is that it frees us from anger that reacts like poison in our system. However, even if your brains recall the painful memory of past experience, you don’t feel any more of the sting of the pain and hurt of that experience. If you are able to look back at those painful memories and you don’t feel the pain anymore, then you know that you have truly forgiven, healed and made whole. You need time to work through your pain and loss. However, some offenses you encounter lead to a sense of loss of trust, security, friendship, relationship and a whole lots more. You may also lose your direction and forget the purpose and meaning of life when inflicted with pain through an offense. Sometimes you’re most horrible and painful experiences can teach your life valuable lessons, making you more insightful and stronger individual through them. Forgiveness is all about finding what was lost and restoring the wholeness that one once
Forgiveness is a process. You can still feel the pain, see the events behind your eyes, and feel the loss of the people around you but you have to find a way to forgive. People think that if you forgive someone you are forgetting or saying hey I would hang out with this person now because we’re cool but thats not at all what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is righting the wrong for yourself because you want the injustice you feel to leave. It’s acknowledging to that there a wrong that was done to you and you decide how you want to think about it not anyone
Forgiving someone is a way to release us from the pain they have brought us. Justice can just be
"Time heals all wounds." is a famous line in American history. I don't think that this is true. My line would be, "Forgiveness heals all wounds." I think that Forgiveness in a very important part of life. Without it, people can not move on with their lives. Let's take for instance a murderer and the family of the person he killed. The murderer may be sentenced to death. The family of the person who was killed could go in and watch the man that killed their family member be put to death. That may give them peace of mind, but they still can not completely move on. They must forgive murderer for killing the person before they can really move on with their lives. Once they do this it will be easier for them. A book that really illustrated this is The Scarlet Letter. In this book there are three main characters, Arthur Dimmesdale, Hester Prynne, and Roger Chillingworth. These three people either needed forgiveness or needed to forgive someone. Some got it, some didn't. Whether or not they received or gave forgiveness had a great impact in their lives.
Life as we all know is full of disappointment and filled with disparity. Most of us are able to go through these and learn from and forgive ourselves. Yet, this isn’t always the case. People are faced with traumatic experiences that often take a long time to get over, if they ever do get over it. These experiences brew in our brain popping up at the most random points often bringing our spirits down. Although these experiences may scar us and fill us with regret and guilt, we can’t continue to live in the past and let these regrets haunt us. Self forgiveness is a key to healing and to moving on in life, no matter how hard it is.
One aphorism that hit me is “To learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others”. I had a few people in my life that had hurt me so much that I hated them. But, I was so miserable that I was not happy. I prayed to God to help me forgive them, a little by little I learned to forgive myself and then forgive them.
The moment we learn to forgive and love is when we can begin to recover and move on.
“Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our in patience, then it races like gazelle when you can’t catch a breath.” Simon Birch. Time is very stable but with our emotions it makes it seem like you can never catch up or it taking too long. Forgiveness can feel this way to both victim and one who’s in the wrong. Forgiveness is very difficult thing to do certain times and takes time. Some may think justice helps or makes one forgive because of the punishment or karma and it makes everything better. But I would ask yourself are you truly forgiving one for the wrongs or are you just dismissing it. Justice and forgiveness do not go hand-in-hand. Justice is not forgiveness because to forgive someone or something for what they have done needs to come from our not from what happens to them for their punishment or karma.
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feeling and attitude regarding an offense; let’s go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender. Walter (1984) stated that forgiveness is a voluntary process that usually requires courage and multiple acts of the will to complete. In Walters' view, the person who has been hurt has two alternatives: to be destroyed by resentment which leads to death, or to forgive which leads to healing and life. Sonja Lyubomirsky calls forgiveness is a natural resolution of the grief process, which is the necessary acknowledgment of pain and loss. It is a powerful choice that can lead to greater well being and better relationships.
It’s no magic formula or antidote. It’s a process and it takes time but it is possible. Forgiveness in the simplest form is not seeking revenge or holding on to the feelings associated with the hurt. Forgiveness is, letting go of the offense and the person who caused it.
Justice and forgiveness are two topics that are interpreted differently by many people. Many people forgive, but many other people only seek justice. They can’t go hand-in-hand together though. People are not capable of forgiving while they also seek justice toward a person. Forgiveness is led by sorrow to a person while justice is revenge based. Many who seek justice can not resist the temptation of revenge but those who seek to forgive show strength by doing the right thing.
Some people may disagree with this observation. They may argue that it is easier to forget than forgive depending on the emotional circumstance. Forgiveness is interpreted different ways by many people. For example, the person that went through the crisis can forget what happened to them by staying away from that particular person or situation. However, forgiveness takes the power, or control, away from the forgiven and should be used as a tool that assists in balancing your life when someone hurts you.
This forgiveness does not absolve anyone of blame, but creates a space for future self-realization by refocusing the attention from the past to the present and future (Mahaffey).
A strong Christian lesson on the true nature of forgiveness can be found in Christ’s Sermon on the Mount:
Hope, Donald. "The healing paradox of forgiveness." Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training 24.2 (1987): 240.
Forgiveness is the act of releasing an offender of any wrong or hurt they may have caused you whether they deserve it or not. It is a decision to let go of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group of people. When we choose to forgive, we’re wiping the slate clean, cancelling a debt, or as I love to say, “Letting it go.” In the Bible, the Greek word for forgiveness literally means to “let it go.” This concept, “forgiveness,” is easier said than done. Majority of people find it very difficult to let go of offenses and hurts caused by others. I really do believe that most people desire to let it go, but we lack the knowledge of how to do it. As believers, we are instructed by God maintain an attitude of forgiveness.