Forgiveness In 'All Over But The Shoutin'

As I sit here thinking about was forgiveness means to me. I have come to realize that holding in hate is harmful and the outcome physically and mentally could cause undesirable effects. Although, the process of forgiveness can take many years and the process may start with you. The whole process shouldn’t be seen as an obligation, but a remedy to help with your recovery.

Some people may disagree with this observation. They may argue that it is easier to forget than forgive depending on the emotional circumstance. Forgiveness is interpreted different ways by many people. For example, the person that went through the crisis can forget what happened to them by staying away from that particular person or situation. However, forgiveness takes the power, or control, away from the forgiven and should be used as a tool that assists in balancing your life when someone hurts you.

One reason forgiving a person can give the confidence to move on can be seen in the “Render Unto Larry’s”, an op-ed piece written by Phil Holland that tells a story of his childhood. He and his friend Chester stole model paints from a neighborhood store. Although Larry was dead, Holland enters

Larry’s and after some thought he apologizes to the granddaughter for stealing and over pays for a soda with a hundred-dollar bill. The act of Holland over-paying for the soda and the grand-daughter forgiveness allowed Holland to move on. As you can see the process started with Holland and he completed the steps of relieving his conscious even though the granddaughter had recollection of the stolen model cars.
. Another great example of forgiveness as a tool to help others recover is the Washington Post article titled “From victims’ families, forgiveness for accused Charleston gunman Dylann Roof” written by Jeremy Borden, Sari Horwitz and Jerry Markon. This article is in response to Dylan Roof, a white man who opened fire killing nine people in a historic black church. Despite the tragedy and deaths, the relatives sent a message of gloom with forgiveness. The words the survivors used were “crime had devastated their families. But some said they forgave him, and, recalling the spirit of the venue where he staged his attack, pledged to pray for his soul.” (Borden, Horwitz and Markon). As you can see, forgiveness through love can conquer hate as an unwanted emotion and the reaction of those suffering from the tragedy used forgiveness to help cope with an unwanted, devastating situation. Forgiveness in general doesn't necessarily mean that others are denying the responsibility of other person, and it doesn't diminish or validate the wrong doing.
Another reason problems can exists if others don't practice some form of forgiveness verbally or mentally, is the potential for long lasting health effects. For example, In the NPR conversation piece “Forgiveness Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be” hosted by Michelle Martin, two people are interviewed during a conversation about “forgiveness” …Emily Yoffe and Dr. Richard Friedman. Dr. Friedman refers to the act of conclusion being a symptom of Post Traumatic Syndrome (PTSD) and argues that undesirable feelings towards someone who abused you are normal and forgiveness does not require conciliation. Both Yofee and Friedman discusses that the process of forgiveness can sometimes bring on more negative feelings than before causing a person to relive that event but can also get a positive response and realize their overall feelings and allow them to put the traumatic event behind them. In this particular case the forgiveness process can go either way.
When speaking of others being the first step.

I recall the Richard Bragg’s Memoir; “All over but the Shoutin” Bragg discusses an event in which he went to visit his father. He met his father in hopes of getting an apology for leaving his mother and siblings alone with no money. When one reads this story it could drive home the feeling of being helpless to someone with a similar story. Bragg mumbles the words “thank you daddy.” At this point, the opportunity to provide closure was missing and to this day Bragg regrets not telling his dad how he felt. In this particular case, by Bragg keeping his feelings to himself may have caused negative feelings for himself or others in the family at that time, but through his writings he addressed those feelings and can often be considered a true first

step.
Forgiveness shouldn’t used as an obligation, but rather a coping mechanism to free the mind and assist you in enjoying life. The process of forgiveness is not instantaneous and can be a long and difficult road, but in the end peace will exist in the inner self. Peace is not possible without forgiveness. Martin Luther King once said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.” These are the words that I live by every day