The Most Hateful Words; Hearty Forgiveness

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“I hate you. I wish I were dead…” are the words of Amy Tan, which are included in her essay “The Most Hateful Words”. The hatred is directed to her mother, with whom, she had a turbulent relationship. The sixteen year old Tan talks about never being able to forgive her mother for all the injustices she had to endure. Tan and her mother didn’t have the greatest relationship, however at the age of 47, Tan saw herself forgiving her ill mother. Forgiveness should be learned and practiced by all, rancor is a heavy burden to carry and can turn a person into a miserable being.

Tan’s essay is compelling to forgiveness. She is a prime example on how carrying around anger and sadness can make a person cold and bitter. Tan describes herself as “impenetrable” and talks on “hardening her heart”, a method of protection from any other pain or suffering. Tan first states that the words felt like a storm in her chest. Carrying all that built of frustration lead to Tan’s wordy explosion of “I hate you”. If Tan would have forgiven her mother from that early age maybe their relationship would have been better. On the other hand, Tan carried around that rancor for ages. Storing the hatred she felt for the unstable relationship with her mother. At the age of 47, Tan recognizes that she is a total different person. The severity of the relationship is easily identified by Tan’s shock in receiving a call from her mother. Tan’s ill mother asks for forgiveness and Tan is able to do so. Tan could have possibly forgiven so easily because she craved that peace with her mother. They say dire times call for desperate measures. She needed that apology in order to move on to the next stage in life. Forgiveness is part of a healing process. Tan immediately felt ...

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...g a person know that you are stronger than the hurt they caused is fantastic. Martin Luther King Jr. once said “I have decided to stick to love… hate is too great a burden to bear.”

Resentment is like a prison. "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." (Louis B. Smedes). Forgiveness will set you free. That type of hatred carries around where ever you go. Granting forgiveness to those who hurt us can bring tranquility. Such as Tan, as soon as she forgave her mother she felt peace, and I forgiving my sister took away the hurt. Some of the smartest men talk on the importance of forgiveness. Exoneration avoids a person turning cold and bitter. Abhorrence can lead to trying to want revenge. But what is better than being at peace with oneself. One must keep in mind that forgiveness is for the strong. Forgiveness builds character.

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