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Overcoming traumatic childhood events essay
Overcoming traumatic childhood events essay
Chapter 1 of understanding psychology
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As I grew up, I developed a personality based on a victim mentality. When someone would say something about me, I would accept it, believe it or perceive it as truth. Therefore, to protect myself, I developed a set of rules that came from feeling rejection and reasoning that I was merely a drop in the ocean, "One of the Many." However, these laws in my life turned into wrong thinking, low self-esteem, and low self-worth. It would be years when I realize this thought process of self-protection had pointed my life on a path of self-pity with large doses of emotional pain such as loneliness, depression, and unavailability for love. An ocean needs numberless amounts of drops of water to assume the form of a large body of water, while at the same …show more content…
The top goal, provide for myself, be self-reliant added to my simple and to the point rules, and with these rule in place who could feel rejection? But again, I did not know how, and as a result of this, I felt a constant sense of helplessness. Never the less, these are the rules, Rule #1: Ask for nothing. I was sure no one would give me anything anyway. Rule #2: Blend in. I made a habit of blending in, no matter the environment, anything to keep from being noticed. Rule #3: Whatever it took, I needed to protect myself from rejection, even at the cost of friendships. Therefore, do not look into anyone's eyes. Rule #4: Do not feel, on account of the fear of rejection was prevalent in my life. Rule #5: Notice nothing. I never wanted to show any interest, since I may be noticed. My focus, avoid all, and do not rely on anyone was the primary goal of my life. Unfortunately, considering I grew up with these rules my countenance was of pushing people away (directly and indirectly) it prevented people from reaching out; therefore, I didn’t allow them to know me; consequently, they couldn’t love me
Everyone has been responsible for wrongful actions in their lives. The reason for these actions as well as your envy, lies, and insecurities is your shadow. Carl Jung’s theory of the persona includes concepts of “the ego, living with the shadow and the persona and mask one wears”(Internet Wire). In “The Shadow Effect”, Jung also describes the shadow as representing “ ‘the other side’ or ‘the dark brother’, who is an inseparable part of our psyche” (Burkard Sievers). Jung explains how for a person to deal with social acceptance and the expectations of humanity, they must conceal the part of themselves that they know won’t conform with these expectations (the shadow). People conceal this part by
The differences between a victim and a creator is the level of responsibility. A victim prefers to blame other because they don’t want to take responsibility for the mistakes that they made. An example of a victim uses defender strategies. For example, when you are failing a class, and you just give up and stop trying and instead of working harder you blame the teacher or other people, and then you start saying things like “ that teacher sucks at teaching”, and you just start saying negative thing of other people and sometimes yourself, sometimes you even critisize yourself and thats the inner critic mindset. On the other hand a creator has a much more clearer mindset and is not sucked into the victim category so easily. An example of a
I affected by what people have thought of me. I let the fear of one person in high school keep me from doing what I loved which is theater. I was afraid of Kayla because I was bullied by her. In 8th grade I was afraid to speak out because I thought I was wrong. During presentations three guys who thought they were “all that” the “jock type” the muscular guys who thought they could get any girl were mean to me. They probably had to be mean on the outside to hide some hurt on the inside. They would call me names and throw spitballs when the teacher was not looking .I looked around the room and saw the kids faces all laughing. I couldn’t speak after that. I felt like I had a lump in my throat that was preventing me to talk. After that day I felt like a ghost wandering the halls, that everyone ignored. I felt that everyone was out trying to get me for something I didn’t do. I was an easy target. I was too sensitive. I was self conscious about my body. People where telling me I was fat, I wasn’t pretty, I will never get a guy because I was a “looking like a
People can never experience their true character when hiding behind a façade of self-doubt. Not only are these individuals hurting themselves, but they are also harming their relationships with others. Insecurity comes from the lack of confidence in an individual. Wanting approval is shown in those who are insecure. When this emotion grows it becomes something as ugly as jealousy. As well as an addiction to the dependency of another person. Nevertheless, insecurity is a powerful emotion that creates a negative effect on an individual’s ability to view themselves positively and impacts their
I have a very low self-esteem and I always have. I have never thought I was pretty enough, thin enough, or good enough. This may be something I will always struggle with but I have been move toward the me I have always wanted to be. I have supportive and loving friends that encourage me all the time, which is a wonderful factor pushing me forward. I tend to suppress my emotions because I do not like any attention on myself and I would rather help others with what is going on in their lives than talk about what is going on in mine. This is also something I have done for years and is a hard habit to break, but I know it is an unhealthy one and potentially harmful for my relationships and self. I do tend to be driven by emotions and say or do things I do not mean because of something done in that moment. I am learning and trying to be better about dealing with and expressing my emotions because I know this will build healthier, stronger relationships. I am very happy and optimistic when it comes to other people and their situations and experiences; however, when it comes to myself I tend to be a harsher
Notably, depression and loss of identity occur when a tormenter tells their victim that they’re worthless or something resembling it habitually, causing the victim to believe them. The line between innocence and being the one to blame for one’s
In Conclusion, contrary to the presumption that most people suffer from low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority, it is found that most people exhibit a self-serving bias. Individuals typically rate their selves better than average on subjective, desirable traits and abilities. Some individuals display overconfidence, which can lead to eventual feelings of failure. I have a self-serving bias as well as most everyone else, even though I may not even notice it. So next time you find yourself saying, "I was in a bad mood that day," "A lot of people make that same mistake," or "I can do it better myself," think about what you are saying and maybe you might catch your self serving bias.
What is a victim? Who can be a victim? Is being a victim voluntary or involuntary behavior? The most common definition of a victim is something or someone who is harmed, injured, or killed because of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
The report described my self-esteem to be pretty strong. If people reject me based on who I am or what I do, I am most likely not going to be affected by it. I also don’t really go out of my way to attain approval from people who don’t accept the way I am. Although rejection may hurt me, I don’t let it change how I feel about myself. The results described me as strong and only worried about my own approval. I found these results to be pretty true now that I have gotten older. When I was younger I used to always worry about what others thought of me, however as I have grown and been through more hardships, I have learned that the only approval I need is my own. I agreed with the results when it said at times I may feel hurt when rejected but not devastated. This is true. At times I still feel this hurt, however I don’t let it ruin my view on
...ything is being influenced by your emotions, even my work. The human mind is exactly like this description of skin. Injustice - it is a concept of out mind that we open to people around us. We have our own view what is done right, what is wrong. People judge too much. The last thing I want to point out in my speech that was inspired by David Forester Walla, is that there is a cure to our infected mind. Fogiveness is the only way to heal ourselves. When we forgive ourselves - we feel compassion. We make a promise that we will never hurt, judge or go against ourselves. Once, you forgive yourself, the self-rejection in you mind is over. Self-acceptance begins, and the self-love will grow so strong that you will finally accept yourself just the way you are! Isn’t it what David wanted to tell us? That’s how I understood it. Simple and clear: be friends with yourself.
When I left my room, my mother knew that I had gone through a rough time, and I did not want to talk to her about it. Even though there was only a month left in my school year, I promised myself that I would be completely truthful to my friends, my family, my heritage, and myself. I expected all my friends to leave me, but I was fully prepared for this. However, none of this ever happened. My friends didn’t leave me, I wasn’t alone at the lunch table, I wasn’t even seem differently by those around me. I had failed my family by doing this, and I wished I had stopped acting like someone I wasn’t sooner. This is one of the only mistakes I have made which I consider a failure because it had taken me close to a year to fix, and this is why I consider it my most successful failure.
Knowingly or unknowingly, your past experiences, especially those that contributed to your low self-confidence continue to impact your daily life even as you grow older. There seems like an “inner voice” that always remind your subconscious mind about the negative experiences you have had in the past. As a result, you are constantly reminded of the unpleasant childhood messages accompanying those experiences. Such inner voice for people with low self-confidence becomes a cruel and unsympathetic critic, driving them to belittle themselves and de-valuate their worth.
I was motivated to become the person I aspired to be. I wanted to be unique and I alrweady am. I started watching youtube videos on self-love and charisma. I did a lot of researdch on how to get your friedns to miss you which was not what I needed to be focused on and i came across an article on self-love it talke about living for yourself and becoming self reliant to not wporry about what will satisfy oitehrs this article was eye-opening. I learned about the Law of Attraction on youtube and Charisma from the youtube channels YOuarecreators and Charismaoncommand and I leaarned so much. I have a love of learning. In these videos I was learning exercises that helped me build my condifence they taught me that I deserve to be happy taht I’mm worth it. I isolated myself a lot espeicially with my friedns when we were together hanging out I would wlk off somewhere to think because I would get a lot of anxiety from a strong painful feeling from feeling lonely and unloved. This rubbed of the wrong way on friends but at the time I didnt care. I learned self-love and when I went to NOrthwestern for anacting program that changed my life, people said I changed their lives, that I’m
There are certain things in this world that should not be allowed no matter what
To be the person that I am now, I had to reflect and accept accountability of my past actions. My past is one that many would love to erase from their memory, a past, which remained dormant, until I found myself. The steps involved in regaining myself encompassed letting go of my anger and self pity. I had to look within myself and see my self’s worth, which lead to my belief that I ran away to college to forget my past. During the years leading to entrance to college, I became caught up with friends, cared way too much about my appearance, and became “that girl” who needed others to be happy. I lost sight of my goal, to become a lawyer. My goals were buried by my present materialization infatuation, thus my dreams, and my values, failed just to create a façade of which I came to despise. Through my journey and reflection, I came to appreciate family values and redemption. Like others, my trials and tribulations came full circle.