The Way We Live Now: Social Media

Growing up in this generation, I have an understanding of what it is like to be raised in a digital world. As social media was introduced in the early 2000s, it became a simple and efficient way of connecting people all across the globe in lightning speed. Social media became a revolutionary outlet for people to express their thoughts and feelings. Sharing our moments and everyday experience with people came to be very easy to learn and quite addicting. Growing communities such Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, made it possible for one to form an identity online. In her essay, “The Way We Live Now: I Tweet, Therefore I Am”, Peggy Orenstein, an author of several best-selling books, discussed the ways in which posting content about ourselves

online is equivalent to performing for an entire audience. I agree with Orenstein’s idea, that our representation online has transformed into somewhat of a show for others, and consequently, this has led people into becoming more narcissistic and less empathetic.
Sherry Turkle, a professor at M.I.T., has done research regarding the use of social media and cellphones among children and parents.

She discovered that young people nowadays tend to place importance on the extrinsic value of things such as popularity and approval from others, rather than intrinsic values like personal growth and the true happiness of self-acceptance. “The self was increasingly becoming externally manufactured rather internally developed” (Orenstein 348). In a way, what we post online is an image that we create of ourselves. We post to get a reaction from our viewers; it is in human nature to want to be liked and paid attention to. Because it is very easy to express ourselves through photos, videos, and statuses, one might take it to the point of self-promotion-drawing in more and more followers with the goal of reaching internet fame. According to American psychologist Carl Rogers’ concept of congruence, “We want to feel, experience, and behave in ways which are consistent with our self-image and which reflect what we would like to be like, our ideal-self” (McLeod). Social media makes it easy for us to create this aspired self-image. We can organize and polish our profiles to give off an impression of what our style is. Each post turns into a validation of who we believe we are, and how we want to be presented to the public eye. In Turkle’s words, “Those moments in which you’re supposed to be showing your true self, become a performance” (Orenstein 348). If all the moments we experience are edited and carefully shaped to match a persona, are we truly who we think we are or is it all for

reputation?
Through the instant possibilities to connect with others and the opportunities for self-expression, there are some positive sides to social media. Users are immediately attracted to the idea of being able to share everyday moments from their little world as well as observing the little worlds of others’ through the screen. It’s nice to check up on what people are doing with just a click of a button. Orenstein describes her experience with social media and how quickly she adapted to the regimen of Twitter culture as an “unnatural self-consciousness: processing my experience instantaneously, packaging life as I lived it” (Orenstein 347). It can feel utterly liberating to be able to share a random thought that crossed our minds and have it documented in real time. However, the lines between the public and private self on social media are blurred. “Twitter has extended that metaphor to include aspects of our experience that used to be considered off-set: eating pizza in bed, reading a book in the tub, thinking a thought anywhere, flossing” (Orenstein 348). What we weren’t able to share before can now be easily communicated. Snapchat, a very popular social media app for smartphones, has made it effortless for self-expression. People can post videos and pictures to their ‘stories’ which all of their friends can view for 24 hours until the posts are automatically deleted. My story feed is constantly filled with people posting daily selfies- whether it be at the gym, in bed, driving, or even on the toilet. Because the app encourages people to share every single thing they do, it becomes an addiction. When people experience new things for the first time, they might feel compelled to share it with the world. Some are too busy trying to capture the right moment instead of truly being conscious and taking in the experience.
To an extent, it does feel like what we do online is to show off for our spectators, and this can often lead to more narcissism. People can become so self-absorbed by the idea of maintaining their self-image, that it’s the only thing they worry about. They want to be seen as important and that is one of problems with social media. “Nearly everyone presents an unrealistic portrait of themselves” (Firestone). People tend to highlight the most attractive features of themselves on social media. Profile pictures are set to the photo we look best in and posts that show exciting aspects of our lives are made. Having good self esteem is something we all should have, but when we begin to value our image, fame, and money over self-acceptance, this becomes an issue. When users present their feed in a manner where it seems as if they have the perfect life, this could potentially create psychological problems among their friends or followers. People might compare their lives to those on the screen and think that their life is uneventful and feel inferior. What needs to be understood is that we are all human beings equipped with the good, the bad, and the ugly. We all have struggles in our own shape and form, so it’s pointless to beat ourselves down for not being flawless or not good enough.
Posts about our private lives can be shared amongst our followers and sometimes that’s what we perceive as social interaction and the building of relationships. “Information technology has made it possible to have the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship” (Turkle 342). This harms our ability as humans to be empathetic. If we constantly rely on digitalized conversations as the main form of socializing with others, it will be very difficult to share our feelings to people in real life, and understand how they might be feeling too. Because in real life, you can’t run away from your problems and just drop out of a conversation anytime you want. Inevitably, we can easily become emotionally detached people. Communicating face-to-face is vital for forming bonds. It is impossible to really know what tone people are trying to convey in their messages if you’re not talking face-to-face. This often leads to miscommunication, and perhaps, the end of relationships. Studies done on 14,000 University of Michigan college students from 1979-2009 revealed that the trait of empathy has been decaying (Orenstein 348). It was concluded that the sharpest decline of the trait has been occurring since the year 2000, possibly because of the increase use of the internet and the beginnings of social media. Empathy is arguably the most important trait one can have. The ability to understand and share feelings to one another is essential to the development of our conscience. A dominant trait found in serial killers happens to be the lack of empathy, so in order to save our humanity, we need to be empathetic.
Social media has become a normal part of Orenstein’s life as well as millions of other people on this planet. We are far too advanced as a society to get rid of social media, but the repercussions of its abuse can prove to be detrimental. Communicating offline is key to improving social skills and building lasting relationships. Learn to not place so much emphasis on the superficialities of life, but instead, sincerely take in the experience wholeheartedly.