Personal Narrative: My Journey To Liberty University

I came back to the Lutheran Seminary in 2012 after a having a conversation with man that would later become a mentor to me. At his prompting along with many others I made a decision to enter into the ordination process of the ELCA. For me that brought mass levels of trepidation as I had heard horror stories of that process. It became another entity in my life where value becomes evident by participation. I knew the work that would be required and I decided to make that plunge.
My journey was completely different because I already had pastoral experience and two master degrees- one from Liberty University and the other from the Lutheran Theological Southern Seminary (the seminary of Lenoir-Rhyne.) It was a step into a world that was foreign

to my world in the “Black Church.” Yes, we served the same God but my experience in life was vastly different than most of the Lutherans that I had meet. Then on June 17, 2015 my life and work was flipped upside down as 9 black bodies were massacred while attending a Bible Study at Mother Emmanuel AME Church. Honestly, my quest to finish the ordination process almost came to a squelching halt as debated becoming a pastor in the AME church. I wanted to show my solidarity with the good people of the AME and the black community in general, and being a part of the ELCA did not seem like a good idea.
Yes, I wrestled with how can I be a part of a denomination that would produce a murderer of beautiful black people? How would the ELCA respond to such a tragedy? How would the SC Synod respond to such an atrocity? These are the existential questions that pummeled my mind daily. The queries that stood as constant reminders that as much as I we try to ignore it…color does matter.
My being a part of the ELCA in the SC Synod heighten my awareness of the lack of cultural competency that we have in America. I watched as white Lutherans tried to make sense of this terrorist act and to find answers. I watched as black people mourned yet again, wrestling with the constant reminders that there are no safe spaces. Tired of forgiving white folks for their senseless hate at the expense pf their black bodies. And here I was in the beginning stages of being a part of this denomination.
Reflecting on the past three months has brought me to strange places in my faith. I wish I could say that I have it all figured out and I am comfortable in all the confines of the ELCA and SC Synod but I can’t. I see the stares, not sure if they are disbelief, utter rejection or simply shock, that cause me to be extremely alert of my surroundings. I still feel the overcompensation because of the overtly racist atmosphere that is cultivated in the south. It is understandable but it also resonates with my soul that we still have so much work to do. There are many beautiful people in the SC synod and the ELCA that I have meet in the last three months. We have talked and broke bread as well as fellowshipped with each other during a Sunday service. But, I state again, we have such a long road ahead.
I have been asked, “Why would a black man decide to become a part of the ELCA –the whitest denomination in America.” (per Pew Research) Then on top of that the SC Synod has only ordained 1 black clergy member.
How do one really reconcile that in their mind?
God is up to something a lot bigger than me…