The Importance Of Insecurity In School At School

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Insecurity
Growing up on a farm with two older brothers, I was a bit of a tomboy. From birth till I was about seven, my favorite toys were Tonka trucks and wooden guns. I would wrestle in the mud with the dogs, and after I worked up an appetite would challenge my brothers to identify who could eat the most, the quickest. At the age of five I took scissors to my hair, chopping it into a pixie cut, so I could “be like my older brothers”. I innocently wore my barn clothes to school, as they were more comfortable than skirts and forgot to brush my hair. My kindergarten picture shows my hair in a rats nest, my head cocked to the side with a large crooked smile and bright eyes. Slowly, that yearbook picture began to change, though, and my innocence …show more content…

It seemed like a great idea, until I went to school with manure still on the bottom of my shoes. That day at school nobody wanted to sit by me. I had no partners for our 1st grade addition project, and on the playground no one wanted to pass the ball to me during soccer. I came home crying to Mom, sad that I didn 't have anyone to play with. My mom told me it was my own fault, and I needed to put on clean clothes. My mom picked out my clothes, but she wasn 't girly either, so I didn’t mind. Clean jeans and a hand-me down Royalton T-shirt from my brothers was my usual attire, in contrast to the girls in a pink dress, with pink leggings, pink shoes, and a pink bow on top of their pretty braids. These girls intimidated me, but the boys always seemed to tease them the most, and wanting friends I would tried to blend in as well. I began to wear the dresses I usually saved for Sunday morning mass, and my mom, picking up on my change in attire, bought skirts, and a sparkly butterfly shirt, that easily became my favorite choice of clothing. Towards the end of my time in elementary I had progressed into clothes from Aeropostale and Hollister. When I went into junior high school the clothes came from Pink, Wet Seal, and other expensive brand names. I didn’t necessarily even care …show more content…

Youth Group. One of the trips they partake in every year is a Steubenville Catholic youth retreat. On the trip our group wasn’t allowed to wear tank tops or shorts. We were forced wear clothes over our swimsuits and couldn 't bring hair tools besides brushes and ponytails, and worst of all, no makeup. We were also expected to eat fast food every single day, and were supplied with limited activity. Most of the time we were sitting and kneeling. It was on my knees though that I found my real purpose. On Saturday night Eucharistic adoration when the monstrance appeared I was washed away of all my insecurities. I was fed by the word and my physical and spiritual strength was tested. The tears that streamed down the faces of girls around me turned black from eyeliner, and I was relieved that I wasn 't wearing any myself. For the first time in years, I didn 't care what anyone else thought, just what my savior did. I realized my purpose wasn’t to please others, but please God by loving myself as he had created me. After adoration all the teens were invited to confession. There I told the priest about my inner struggles and he taught me a meditation I still use today. I spent 10 minutes meditating on how I was always “good enough” while the priest prayed over me. Never had a achieved such a deep sense of

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