Handling Difficult Conversations
Olatunji Sowunmi
Walden University
January 19th, 2014
Introduction
Every now and then, we often find ourselves in different situations where we have to engage in a difficult face-to- face conversation. Most times it involves our loved ones, colleagues or managers. These conversations often revolve around relationships, money, job performances, and various expectations. There are moments as well when we have to engage in such conversations but for one reason or the other we choose not to do so. Perhaps, because we’ve had different experiences of a face to face conversation that didn’t go we way we planned, or maybe because we fear that such conversation would worsen the situation or fear of hurting someone’s feeling. But still, the urge of setting yourself free from that stuck sensation in your chest calls for more reasons to have a one on one talk.
This paper will discuss few circumstances I had of a difficult face-to-face conversation, describing specific actions I took to resolve the situation and evaluates whether or not those actions were effective. I will also mention strategies that will help improve my communication skills which will help me in the further to prepare for similar situations.
As an Associate Director of Quality Management in a Level 1 Trauma Center and a Teaching Hospital in Queens, NY, I have been working in this field for the past six years and I have had several employees that I’ve supervised and worked with over years. But one of my colleagues Mrs. D an older lady with over twenty years of experience has been a torn in the way I’d like to manage my team. Our responsibilities involve updating the hospital policies and guide...
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...m solving, selfish, curious, or angry.
Channeling our emotional energy into something meaningful is important to be aware off. Being able to know and understand the purpose of a difficult conversation and putting ourselves in their shoes will help us see things from their point of view.
Three techniques that have been identified for handling stressful conversation are clarity, neutrality and temperance, and they are building blocks of all good communication, Weeks, H., (2001).
References
• Yates, K., & Beech, R. (2006). Six crucial steps to effective global communication. Strategic Communication Management, 10(5), 26-29.
• Engels, J., (July, 2007). Delivering Difficult Messages. Tool to tackle dreaded conversations. P50-52.
• Weeks, H., (2001). Taking the Stress Out Of Stressful Conversations. Harvard Business Review. P114-119.
Due to the fact many people use the internet and phones to talk or text, the percentage of face-to-face conversations are decreasing. A decrease in conversations can lead to lack of experience, which in turn leads to more awkward and poor communication. The ability to talk to others in reality is vital, for many important conversations are held face-to-face, like job interviews. If a certain person spends most conversations online, it will lead to poor communication skills in reality when it is necessary.
Poole, c. a. (2005). strategic organizational communications in a global economy. belmont ca: wadsworth cengage learning.
Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (1999). Difficult conversations: How to discuss what matters most. New York, NY: Viking Press.
Difficult conversations happens every day in the workplace, it may involve a supervisor and staff communicating about low productive and work performance delivering feedback; or why this staff arrives late to work every morning. Difficult conversations can also include teammates not being able to work together on a project when the deadline is fast approaching. According to Engels, (2007a) No one relishes an uncomfortable conversation. (p.50) Nevertheless, “Executing important but unsettling conversations can be surprisingly effective when the sender follow clear guidelines. (p.50)
For moreover, Daniel Goleman (2004) explained that emotional intelligence plays an integral role in defining character and determining both our individual and group densities. It involves the ability in monitoring one’s own and others emotion, to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide one’s thinking and action. It means to embrace the power of emotion intelligently, it involves abilities that may be categorized, into five (5) domains: (1) self-awareness, (2) emotional maturity, (3) self-motivation, (4) emphatic understanding, and (5) quality communication.
Throughout the semester, we have studied numerous communication theories. Their purpose is to help understand exactly what happens when we interact with others. We might not necessarily agree with all of the theories, but the idea is to develop tools to evaluate situations we may encounter. Often, when the theories are explained in the readings or lecture, it is beneficial to apply the concepts to a "real life" situation. Using this approach, I will use a situation that many of us have faced, or will face, and analyze it according to a particular communication theory.
Listening is a vital and important part of communication. While speaking clearly and concisely is imperative, true listening is central to speaking with mindfulness and in the case of the counselor, this mindfulness has the possibility of leading clients to their own solutions to life’s tough circumstances. In his book, Petersen (2007) breaks down the communication cycle so that we can be aware of how we react when people share their emotions with us, and how to effectively communicate by listening and speaking in turn to build strong and supportive relationships, whether they are personal or professional.
.... Through the evaluation of reactions from both myself and others, I have realized the significant impact the misuse of a particular listening style may have. These effects reach beyond social and professional environments, and in some cases may produce unintended negative effects with family. I had not realized that the two listening styles I use most commonly could be so incredibly polarized when it comes to employing critical listening. As a result, I have devised appropriate steps which I feel will assist in creating a more balanced conversational environment and improve my overall effectiveness in communication. I was surprised to discover that my listening styles are not always conducive to the environment in which I am listening; however, I am consequently compelled to take the steps necessary to achieve higher-quality communication in every aspect of life.
To function effectively in today’s society people must communicate with one another. Yet for some individuals communication experiences are so unrewarding that they either consciously or unconsciously avoid situations where communication is required. (McCroskey & Richmond, 1979) The term ‘communication apprehension’ was coined by James McCroskey (1976a) and is defined as “an individual’s level of fear or anxiety associated with either real or anticipated communication with another person or persons” (McCroskey, 1984). In the last two decades communication apprehension and related constructs, such as reticence and unwillingness to communicate, have received extensive research and theoretical attention by scholars in communication and psychology. In 1984, Payne and Richmond listed over 1000 entries in a bibliography of publications and papers in this area (Payne & Richmond, 1984). Overwhelmingly the underlying theme of the articles has been the negative effects that these constructs can have on academic and social success. It has been forwarded that two out of ten people suffer some form of communication apprehension (CA). The focus of this paper is on communication apprehension as a construct and on how it affects the behavior and lifestyle of an individual.
Being at the apex of the chain of command, the administrative nursing supervisor has numerous responsibilities including but never limited to staffing, conflict resolution, and or crisis. In many circumstances, an administrative nursing supervisor must make timely, prioritizing decisions based on the resources available at any given time. The ultimate outcome ideally is patient and staff safety, and positive patient experiences and outcomes. Throughout the different departments in the facility, there are several governing unions with guidelines and contractual requirements. The facility also has policies and procedures that must be adhered to. Katie remains updated on all guidelines by attending conferences, in-services and administrative meetings. Eason, (2010) stated that, “lifelong learning allows nurses to develop confidence and skill in service provision that is evident to patients, their families, and other health care practitioners” (p.157). I believe that Katie is proficient, has strong leadership skills and is capable of unraveling conflict while following
Interpersonal communication is one of the significant skills while communicating with other individuals. It normally covers an extensive area and includes both verbal and non-verbal communication. Body language and facial expression may affect the accurateness of the message transmission directly. Interpersonal communication skills normally ensure that the message is sent and received correctly without any alteration thus improving the communication efficiency. Learning diverse aspects of interpersonal communication has greatly aided me in better understanding of what it consists. I am capable of applying the knowledge gained from this course to my personal experiences. This paper reflects on my personal experience in learning interpersonal communication.
The purpose of this paper is not to teach you, or to show you, how interpersonal communication is essential to everyday life at home or work. But, I am going to do my best to at least show you how essential communication skills are in all areas of life by using me as the example. My plan is to focus on some of the elements of interpersonal communication that we have been touching on this semester. While reading our Interpersonal Communications Book, three goals kept being highlighted that I personally wanted to accomplish by the end of course. I’m sure that by now I have noticed that I keep referring to my topics as goals.
Communication is one of the most important factors in our lives. It dictates the relationships formed with the individuals in personal and professional lives. Effective communication provides a foundation for trust and respect to grow. It also helps better understand a person and the context of the conversation. Individuals often believe that their communication skills are much better than what they actually are. Communication appears effortless; however, much of what two people discuss gets misunderstood, thus leading to conflicts and distress. To communicate effectively, one must understand the emotion behind the information being said. Knowing how to communicate effectively can improve relationships one has at home, work and in social affairs. Understanding communication skills such as; listening, non-verbal communication and managing stress can help better the relationships one has with others.
Retrieved from http://www.referenceforbusiness.com/small/Sm- Z/Training-and-Development.html#ixzz1F5oiawrQ. University of Memphis,. (1990).Communications networks for managing global operations. global business and the global market. Retrieved from http://www.entrepreneur.com/tradejournals/article/9267862.html.
Irrespective of the environment in which one works, communication is always vital and a key factor of success. Communication happens both physically and verbally and is absolutely essential if you want to inform someone about something. ‘Loud shouting and even violence are symptoms of the ailment, not remedies.’ (Adair 2009: 3). Communication has two main components; sending out a message to someone, and ensuring the message is received correctly to the other member of the conversation. It is thus fair to say speaking and listening are vital to effective communication. This essay will initially introduce me as a student, and my career. I will give a simple SWOT analysis of me and will then go on and breakdown the different methods and techniques of effective communication. Finally, I will talk about how effective communication is needed in my current position, as well as the future.