Parenting Evolution: From Inexperienced to Expert

Every once in a while, I happen to change the channel on the television and see a specific diaper commercial; the one commercial that says “first kid” and shows a clip of an incompetent mother trying to handle a child, and a follow-up clip saying “second kid”, showing the same mother, now experienced, having no trouble at all dealing with her children. The first time I saw the commercial, the clips meant absolutely nothing to me, though the commercial was a creatively effective way of selling their product. After seeing the videos more than once, I began to wonder if my parents were anything like this when I was younger. Based on the stories that they told me about myself when I was smaller, they sounded like they had all of the answers. If

I had a problem, they had a solution. If I had a question, they had an answer. I viewed them as the perfect parents. As I have grown up, however, I have realized the illusion that I created of them is becoming more and more incorrect. Now, since I am not an adult, I feel anything I say regarding this subject would be taken with a grain of salt. I simply do not agree with my parents’ views and thus I have to be wrong simply because I am “young and dumb.” Because I have not been a parent, my own would automatically attribute my opinions to “childhood ignorance” and say “you would understand if you had a kid.” They were correct at times, and I am glad they turned me away from the actual dangerous things; other circumstances I later discovered were not as bad as they made them out to be. As I have come to realize, my parents vastly overstep the bounds, becoming overprotective occasionally. I believe that, based on my own experiences, parents cross the line and become overprotective whenever their decisions affect their children’s future in a negative way, such as preventing kids from discovering things on their own.
Children who are six to nine years old are expected to be extremely active.

They run around and play with toys, run through the woods, and act obnoxious. When I was this age, I was obnoxious to say the least, but as for other characteristics, my parents took special care in smothering out anything that presented itself as ‘dangerous.’ “This type of parenting or smothering rather than mothering, is ineffective and fails to instill virtues and values such as responsibility, courage, self-esteem, self-respect, and confidence in your child” (Overprotective par. 10). I could not run through the woods with other kids, and I could not venture too far away from an older person. As a kid, I always wanted one thing: a trampoline. Almost every one of my friends had a trampoline, except for me, of course. Because a trampoline is made to fling people into the air, my parents, particularly my father, were worried this toy could toss me off and injure me. For this reason, my father strictly forbid our family from owning one, and discouraged me from being on someone else’s. While I see why my parents did not want me to have one of these, I lost a large part of my childhood to their overprotectiveness (I am using the trampoline symbolically as a number of other

things).
Recently, I have come to quite the disagreement with my parents involving a touchy topic. I find my view of the topic to be modern, and not one that was established many years ago. “When the next generation, with its more modern ideas, became mayors and aldermen, this arrangement created some little dissatisfaction” (Emily par. 4). Like what happened in “A Rose for Emily,” when ideas that are more modern were presented to those whose ideals were planted deep in the past, the ideas were quickly rejected. On top of this, this issue involved a few of my close friends, two of which had a large part in our disagreement. Because I did not agree with my parents, they reasoned that these people pose a threat to me, and suggested that I not associate with them. However, because I have matured since our last major argument, I decided that I still would associate with them after I presented a coherent argument. Nevertheless, because of my age, they still did not want me to be around them. I find this to be overprotective, as these friends of mine are actually very good people. Consequently, I find my parents to be tunnel-visioned on this issue, as they completely ignore the fact that my friends are normal people who live normal lives.
While I have the utmost respect for my parents, I sometimes falter in their midst as they can quickly become protective over the smallest of issues. Regardless of whether or not I am a toddler, or even after I start my own life, my parents will be there, trying to create a shield for me from the world. “But in her new home, in a distant unknown country, it would not be like that. Then she would be married – she, Eveline. People would treat her with respect then” (Eveline par. 8). Like Eveline, I look towards the future so that I can be my own person. Nevertheless, I fear for my younger sister, as she is already beginning to realize that she is going through the same mess I am still figuring out. As I have watched her grow up under my parents rule, I have realized that they are doing the same to her what have done to me. I finally realized that, unlike the “first-second kid” mother on television, some things never change.