Drop In Motivation

One particular difficulty I had experience was during my sophomore year, wear I had a significant drop in motivation in terms of receiving an education and attending school. During this time period, the second year of the Pre-Baccalaureate program, it became incredibly difficult for me to comprehend class lessons. The amount of pressure and expectations that were placed upon me, from both my parents and my teachers, became overwhelming. I was hesitant in asking for help, mostly due to the belief that I had to be self sufficient and the fear of teachers not willing to help. The intensive pressure eventually led me to stop attending classes for a period of time, without the knowledge of my parents, where I truly believed that I needed a breather.

This particular interaction became one of the most scarring event I had experienced through high school. It was the first time in my life that an adult had directly told me that they had no faith within my abilities, and to give up all of the hard work and time I had invested into the program the year prior. Later on, throughout the cluster of thoughts, I began to contemplate my purpose in even attending school. The apparent lack of support from my parents, teachers, and counselors made it difficult for me to truly feel significant and that I, as an individual, mattered. After a period of depression and frustration towards myself, I then began to feel this sense of anger and wrath. Looking back now, it was most likely a result of being told that someone had no faith in my ability. I became so angry and resentful towards them that I then began going to school out of spite. I wanted to prove to that particular teacher that I was an incredibly worthy student that had a bright future ahead of her, I wanted to prove her