Wait a second!
More handpicked essays just for you.
More handpicked essays just for you.
Conflict and Conflict Management
Conflict resolution strategies
Conflict resolution strategies
Don’t take our word for it - see why 10 million students trust us with their essay needs.
Recommended: Conflict and Conflict Management
Many people have ongoing and constant conflicts in the relationships that they are in, and a majority of them occur with the opposite gender. This is because we all feel like he or she does not only understand our feelings, but also because we try to fix the other gender in the way we naturally act. However, trying to fix the other person is an ineffective approach/method of trying to solve the conflict. We need learn about each other’s differences and learn that we were each created differently. Once we have learned his or her differences, we need to respect, value and accept each other the other person for who he/she is and how they were created. By doing so, we can establish healthy relationships with the opposite gender. Because of biological …show more content…
Despite the fact that women generally are comfortable expressing rapport through conversing, and men use conversation for “self display,” the matter is far more complex. When occurring in a shared conflict, Self-display can also be a form of connecting. Arguments are sometimes regarded as a method of establishing attachment with other individuals. Women view conflicts as a “threat to connection,” and try to prevent conflicts. They resolve conflicts by indirectly approaching the other. On the other hand, men view conflicts as a way of a debate with status. For men, conflicts are sometimes well-liked. Walter Ong claims that men are prone to contests, like competition, struggle and combat. “Ritual combat” is universal in all males, especially aggressive play and sports …show more content…
Men perform actions to establish themselves and acquire their talents and strengths. Men cannot have others perform ambitions for them. They do not appreciate when women tell them what to do or fix their mistakes for them. For men, seeking assistance is sensed as a flaw. On the other hand, they like to offer solutions to women and others because it is considered a privilege to them. When men wear their “Mr. Fix-It hat,” it is their approach to/of displaying affection. Men also dress in attire that defines their ability and dominance. For example, most men are doctors, police officers, soldiers and business
In the story, “But What Do You Mean” by Deborah Tannen she talks about men and women having different ways of seeing things. Some of the things she talks about I believe in while the other things I believe that these things aren’t true. In the text it talks about many different things. It says women apologize to much while men don’t, women cannot take criticism as well as men, women say thank you to much where men don’t say thank-you enough, women and men don’t fight the same, women and men have different habits in regard to giving praise, women and men don’t compliment the same, and finally men can take jokes better than women.
In her article “But What Do You Mean” Deborah Tannen, claims that there is a huge difference in the style of communicating between men and women. Tannen breaks these down into seven different categories; apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. With each of these she compares men to women by explaining the common misconceptions that each of the genders do. The different style of communication can cause some problems at the workplace and even affect the environment. The different styles of communication has been around forever and almost becomes a “ritual”(299). Tannen is effective with mainly women and not men. She is primarily successful with women due to the fact that her tone targets women, also the organization
Deborah Tannen wrote “ Talk in the Intimate Relationship” to help people learn something about how men and women's interactions differ. She is a language scholar and has past experience of failed relationships and she feels as though this was because of lack of communication. Her main focus is on metamessages, these are messages that go beyond what we say. She states that the people that are literal minded, miss out on the context of what communication is. What this essay will consist of being what Tannen calls metamessages, summarizing her article on how men and woman talk, deciding whether Tannen is favorable to both genders and last but not least if I agree to an extent with Tannen says in her article.
First, Deborah Tannen argued that in the linguistic battle of the sexes, women look for emotional expression whereas men look for experiences for bonding. She proves this by stating, “Intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is
Women seemed to be more emotionally involved in a conversation than men. Men protected themselves from being pushed around or dominated by women. Tannen talked about the participatory listenership where women were able to complete the sentence of a conversational partner. Men interpreted this practice as an interruption, lack of attention, and intrusion. Tannen explained, “Men take too literally women’s ritual ‘trouble talk,’ just as women mistake men’s ritual challenges for real attack” (Tannen 409). There were reported emotional detachments when it came to men making decisions because they were more critical and factual in their
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
... are in an unpleasant situation while women do not (Crawford and Unger). As men tend to be more uncomfortable, they prefer to simply reduce their physical reactions by not wanting to deal with problems. Thus, the responsibility of keeping a healthy relationship may fall under a woman’s duty.
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.
Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women share. These networks also differ and as do the reasonings for their formation. Although we do not think that men and women need to change their cultures to effectively communicate, we do think that better communication is possible. One of the researchers we took a look at was Deborah Tannen. According to Tannen the reason that men and women do not communicate well is that men and women use language differently. Women take the attitude that conversation is to explore solutions to common problems while men concern themselves more with getting information and hard data from conversation. Tannen states that what women look for in communication is human connection, while men consider status to be most important. They are looking for independence and are constantly looking for higher accomplishments. Intimacy threatens this independence, so men have a tendency to avoid it. One of the old sayings about women is that they talk more than men. It turns out that it is not necessarily true. Women seem to talk more in private conversations than do men. Women do not generally have a fear of intimacy and therefore are much more open with one another during private conversations. It is more difficult for women to use this type of communication style in the public arena. In that case it is men that do most of the talking. Tannen ultimately argues that men use communication as a weapon. They use long explanations to command attention from who it is they are speaking to. They use it to convey information and to ultimately gain agreement. Tannen suggests that through even simple conversation men are continually protecting their status. She sugg...
Imagine a world where resolving academic disputes involved duelling the opposing person. According to Deborah Tannen, agonism is just that: an argument culture that attacks ideas and arguments, rather than studying them critically by both believing and doubting the opinions writers express. Framing the concept concretely and then appealing to pathos and ethos, Tannen argues that this notion of academic debate is destructive to healthy academic discourse. Tannen frames the article using agonism, defining it with the words of Walter Ong, the creator of the idea: “programmed contentiousness” and “ceremonial combat”.
Interpersonal conflict is very common with many relationships. It occurs when two people can not meet in the middle or agree on a discussion. Cooperation is key to maintaining a healthy debate. More frequently; when dealing with members of your own family, issues arise that include conflict and resolution. During this process our true conflict management style appears “out of thin air”. (Steve A. Beebe, 2008, p. 191).
...a meaningful communication to take place. In conclusion, there are differences between men and women that go beyond social nurture. These differences have their origin in their genes. The differences evident in men and women are translated in their behavior and communication. There are possibilities of these differences in their turn raising the problem of failing to understand one another because in a communication men and women have a different set of expectations from each other. It is essential to understand and appreciate these differences for a meaningful communication to take place.
I do not pretend to be a complete expert in the vast world of men and women. However, as one of these creatures, I decided early on in life to do my best to figure out the relationship between us and our counterparts. This was very interesting to me because, unlike most people, I do not believe that we simply "evolved" to become what we are today. I believe we were created the way we are by a very big God who knew what He was doing, and did it for a purpose. After a mere 18 years of observation, I have concluded that we as humans are trying to look too deeply into the purpose of "man" and "woman." We make the relationship too complicated. We need to stop prying into why men like football and women like quilts, and simply accept that we do. That is the way it is. And as I shall point out, that is the way it is best.
...or a relationship”. In genderlects, there is no superior or inferior method of communication, but rather, men and women just communicate differently. By understanding these differences, one can reduce the amount of misunderstandings in future conversations.