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In her article “But What Do You Mean” Deborah Tannen, claims that there is a huge difference in the style of communicating between men and women. Tannen breaks these down into seven different categories; apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. With each of these she compares men to women by explaining the common misconceptions that each of the genders do. The different style of communication can cause some problems at the workplace and even affect the environment. The different styles of communication has been around forever and almost becomes a “ritual”(299). Tannen is effective with mainly women and not men. She is primarily successful with women due to the fact that her tone targets women, also the organization …show more content…
Women are typically more responsive to organized and well thought out points because it is easy to follow. When something is very structured women are more likely to believe the writer, because it builds the writer's credibility. For example, the use of Tannen's different categories of communication styles. By using so many different categories you get a sense of her knowledge about the different communication styles between men and women. Also her use of the bolded subheadings plays a very important role in her effectiveness with her structure. For example, “3. Thank-Yous” you can clearly see that she wants you to be able to know what she will be talking about (301). This provides the reader a well organized article that focuses on one thing at a time instead of having to jump from topic to topic. Tannen is successful with women because her credibility is built on the fact that she knows when and how to say things. Women do not like second guessing so the fact that the text is in bold writing paints a very clear picture and is very hard to miss. The overall structure allows a very easy and well organized article and anyone could appreciate her effort in doing …show more content…
Women respond very well to tone and word choice, which Tannen uses to her advantage. She uses personal experience to relate with her more female audience. For example, in the criticism section she uses a scenario that occurred between a male and female editors. Tannen “appreciated her tentativeness” that she gave Tannen when wanting to cut out part of her story(301). In contrast to that her male editor gave her a much different response, saying “call me when you have something new to say”(301). By stating a scenario with two very different outcomes, she falls more bias to women. This is effective to her more female audience because it paints women in a positive light and paints the men in a very negative light. The obvious bias towards women can arguably hurt her more than it could help her. Tannen automatically outs her male audience at a very awkward side, and makes it impossible for them to feel sympathy towards her. This hurts Tannen’s opportunity for having a broad audience, but for what she wrote it for she is very effective. If we are simply talking about how effective it was for women then Tannen hit home with them. Tannen’s choice of using what men say is also very smart, and helps with her effectiveness. She heard a man say, that after working for two women he realized neither of them have a sense of humor(304). By using examples like these
Tannen’s style of language tells the reader that she is a smart women that isn’t messed with by men.
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” as the famous saying of John Gray goes. It is believed men and women are nothing alike in almost every aspect. In Deborah Tannen’s essay “Gender in the classroom: Teacher’s Classroom Strategies Should Recognize that Men and Women Use Language Differently” she focused on how men and women differ when it comes to communicating, with emphasis on how it effects to how men and women behave in the classroom.
Deborah Tannen wrote “ Talk in the Intimate Relationship” to help people learn something about how men and women's interactions differ. She is a language scholar and has past experience of failed relationships and she feels as though this was because of lack of communication. Her main focus is on metamessages, these are messages that go beyond what we say. She states that the people that are literal minded, miss out on the context of what communication is. What this essay will consist of being what Tannen calls metamessages, summarizing her article on how men and woman talk, deciding whether Tannen is favorable to both genders and last but not least if I agree to an extent with Tannen says in her article.
Tan shifts tones throughout the paper but ends with a straightforward tone saying “there are still plenty of other books on the shelf. Choose what you like” (Tan 4), she explains that as a reader an individual has the right to form their own opinion of her writing but if they do not like it they do not have to read it because she writes for her own pleasure and no one else’s. All of the women took separate approaches to dealing with their issues but all of these resolutions allowed them to see the positive side of the
Tannen states "Granted, women have Lower status than men in our society" rendering that Tannen knows about how today 's society sees women as the role follows the males. Tannen also describes the method on how women communicate is indirect while males are more direct. The significance of this is how Tannen later mentions an island of Madagascar
In the introduction of Deborah Tannen’s “Conversation Style: Talking on the Job”, she compares and contrasts the ways men and women communicate. This reminds me of what I tell people that are struggling in their relationships. Women and men express themselves differently. Women think, but men act. If you can’t wrap your head around this, being in a relationship with anyone is going to be hard. Yet, this is such a basic way of looking at this issue. Not only are the genders vastly different, but each person relates to the world around them in a certain way. He or she also needs to be related to in a specific way. Looking at personalities and personal histories can give a better look at the way we communicate with each other. Tannen examines
At the end, both Rachel Rafelman and Ronald Macaulay are very good writer they brought their thoughts in distinct ways to address their audience. Macaulay strongly opposing the stereotypes of men’s and women’s talks’. Whereas, Rafelman kept her evidence and plugged effective examples to make her context understood. Over all, Rafelman presented her context better than Macaulay.
Through the thirty four page analysis, Lanser invokes her audience to consider the influences of gender practices taken into account by writing styles, sexual oppression, the feminine consciousness, and political privileges.
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
Women are under constant scrutiny when it comes to the organizational world of work. Looking at the start, this type of wary behavior begins at the job interview. From experience, the moment an interviewer views a person’s application they have already begun their assessment of the person. The interviewee has less than a minute after introduction to give a good initial impression. However, the traits of two applicants who are male and female vary in expectation, “women are expected to be dependable, cooperative, intuitively perceptive, and exhibit ‘soft’ skills of management. Men, on the other hand, are required to be intelligent, ...
Tannen’s main argument is that women are viewed as “marked” and men are seen as “unmarked”. This is because women must look, act, dress a certain way and if they do not they are “not caring”. It is a label that society gives us women. As she said in the essay, she was solely looking at the way the women had looked and were dressed but did not notice the men and the way that they were dressed. She realized that we women must try compared to the men. In the essay, it was said that she noticed had each of the three women were dressed differently. The first was wearing a suit, the second dressed casual, and the third was dressed “sexy”. The way the women were dressed is what caught the attention first hand. Us as women are “marked” by our appearance.
(week 4 reading 1). "Difference" is a non-violent approach that indicates that develops the notion that men and women communicate from and in different cultural worlds (reference ppp). Deborah Tannen is a major advocate of this position with her book You Just Don't Understand (1990). (reference week4 reading 1). Comparing conversational goals, Tannen argues that men aim to communicate factual information, whereas women are more concerned with building and maintaining cooperative, caring, emotional relationships. In addition, Cameron (kai imerominia einai to week 4 reading 1) again provides a very good example of ‘difference approach’ helping us to understand the way it entered the public view of language and gender. The example used is the book of a mass-writer, John Gray, who wrote a fictional tale about how the two sexes migrated to planet earth from the different planets of Mars and Venus and that each sex is acclimated to its own planet's society and customs, but not to those of the
...ind this to be a typical male trait. Our surveys and research found however, that these types of traits are normally associated with men within the business world. Through our research, we found that in a male dominated society, adapt to the male styles of communication. As we have previously stated, the styles of communication between genders differ greatly. Men tend to use conversation to obtain data whereas women use conversation to create connections. Through our research, we also came up with some solutions for bridging the communication gaps between males and females. To reduce miscommunication, males and females must learn to interpret the messages being sent to them. They must learn to understand the speakers' motives and background. In effective communication, one must realize the experiences of the speaker and listener, and work to create a common understanding of the messages being created. Males should try to understand the female need for connection whereas females need to understand the male need for data. If the two cultures can learn to combine their styles by offering information while creating a connection, the male and female communication gap will be bridged.
There are more differences than similarities in the way women and men communicate, as perceived by majority. From the start of 1990s, many authors and psychologists have written books highlighting this fact and portraying their conversations to be some catalogue comprising of misunderstandings.
Since men and women work closely in the workplace today, there are many complaints addressing the differences in the genders. Simma Lieberman addresses these differences in her article, “Better Communication Between Men and Women in the Workplace: Some Useful Tips”. Men tend to think that women take things too seriously, are slow in getting down to business, and try to be “one of the boys”. A complaint that women give about men is that they are being labeled names such as: “girls”, “honey”, and “darlin”. Other complaints are that men make women into objects, making decisions about work with other men and not including the women, and using expressions that only use sports, violence or sexual connotations s...