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In the story, “But What Do You Mean” by Deborah Tannen she talks about men and women having different ways of seeing things. Some of the things she talks about I believe in while the other things I believe that these things aren’t true. In the text it talks about many different things. It says women apologize to much while men don’t, women cannot take criticism as well as men, women say thank you to much where men don’t say thank-you enough, women and men don’t fight the same, women and men have different habits in regard to giving praise, women and men don’t compliment the same, and finally men can take jokes better than women.
In the passage it states that women apologize too much while men don’t. Tannen feels that every time a woman apologies she does not mean to apologize. This could actually mean it’s an automatic way of keeping people
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She feels that men won’t complain, but try to fix the problem at hand while women will want to discuss the problem. She feels that if a women has a problem that she will want to discuss the problem rather than try to fix the problem. I don’t agree with her on this because I feel women will try to fix anything more than men. I feel that men will complain about the situation, and not try to solve it, but make the situation worst. That’s why I feel that men complain more women. The finale thing Tannen talks about is jokes. She feels that women can joke around men, and men can joke around men. She feels that women can only have a sense of humor around other women. She feels men can talk to anyone and laugh with anyone. I feel that this is absolutely true. Women will not be themselves around men because they feel that they aren’t funny enough. Women will laughing, and cry around other people, but when they are around man they feel they can’t be themselves anymore. While men will be themselves around anyone because that’s just how a man
Tannen claims that men carefully choose their words to persuade women into doing as they want and need. Women give in too easily.
In her essay, Tannen analyzes how everything that women do will mark them in some way. Her point is that everything a woman does is somehow sending a message. For example, Tannen notes that, “The unmarked tense of verbs in English is the present” and that you can mark them
Women respond very well to tone and word choice, which Tannen uses to her advantage. She uses personal experience to relate with her more female audience. For example, in the criticism section she uses a scenario that occurred between a male and female editors. Tannen “appreciated her tentativeness” that she gave Tannen when wanting to cut out part of her story(301). In contrast to that her male editor gave her a much different response, saying “call me when you have something new to say”(301). By stating a scenario with two very different outcomes, she falls more bias to women. This is effective to her more female audience because it paints women in a positive light and paints the men in a very negative light. The obvious bias towards women can arguably hurt her more than it could help her. Tannen automatically outs her male audience at a very awkward side, and makes it impossible for them to feel sympathy towards her. This hurts Tannen’s opportunity for having a broad audience, but for what she wrote it for she is very effective. If we are simply talking about how effective it was for women then Tannen hit home with them. Tannen’s choice of using what men say is also very smart, and helps with her effectiveness. She heard a man say, that after working for two women he realized neither of them have a sense of humor(304). By using examples like these
Tan shifts tones throughout the paper but ends with a straightforward tone saying “there are still plenty of other books on the shelf. Choose what you like” (Tan 4), she explains that as a reader an individual has the right to form their own opinion of her writing but if they do not like it they do not have to read it because she writes for her own pleasure and no one else’s. All of the women took separate approaches to dealing with their issues but all of these resolutions allowed them to see the positive side of the
woman very well—the narrator—talks about her but not to her. With her own choices, then, the
Gender relations and differences have been a part of society since the birth of civilization. Gender relations in the past have been mainly dominated by men. In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, women are lower that men. Women are never really apart of the play and when they are a part of the play, they are usually expressing stereotypical women behavior. In Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, women are mainly expressed overpowering men. Both pieces include patriarchal elements. Kesey and Shakespeare use various stereotypical female characters as a metaphor for the different roles that women have in society, to express the views society holds on these roles.
Just because she managed to get her essay published does not mean that she doesn’t have flaws like the rest of us. She tries her best to understand the new rules, going to a seminar on sexual harassment and engaging in the class. She tries asking “How do you know they’re unwanted until you try?” (pg 105). The teacher was uncomfortable with the question, so he waved it off as a joke instead of responding. “I did want him to answer,” she says, “because it’s something I’d been wondering” (105-106). Sometimes our efforts are misconstrued as ingenuine and as a result the person making an effort gets labeled as someone who can’t take anything seriously, no matter how important the topic. This does not make their efforts to improve themselves and the world any less genuine. We all do our best to help those we care about and we all make mistakes. Each of us holds our views and acts accordingly, Kipnis and myself included. What we do may not always be right, but it is us trying to do what is best based on what we understand about the world. What we can do is try and improve ourselves like Kipnis did. We need to look at both sides of an argument because they can both have valid points, reasonings for why they think the way they do, that can expand our understandings. Often, this does not happen because people are too stubborn to change. Why I believe everyone is so set in their ideas is because they (Kipnis and I included) are
What does the word gender mean to an individual? Do people believe it means different responsibilities among people? Do people believe it means equality? Gender roles play a major role in our lives. It is the heart of our self-conceptions and daily actions. In the book Things Fall Apart, Nigerian author Chinua Achebe tells about the culture of an African society. The lives and beliefs of individuals are effectively described and are easy for readers to compare and contrast to their own culture. While gender roles exist in the American society based on a Eurocentric perspective, the book Things Fall Apart portrays a different culture illustrating the roles of individuals within the Igbo tribes.
The same conflict haunts both men and women, but is portrayed as two completely different groups. The narrator is selective omniscient and allows the men's and women's feelings to be expressed when presented with the same racial issue such as portrayed in "Samuel." This also allows the reader to observe how each sex responds to the issue. Grace Paley writes, "The men and women in the cars on either side watch the young boys playing on the platform. They do not like them to jiggle or jump but don't want to interfere" (191). This shows that both men and women did not like what the boys were doing outside on the platform, and each deals with it in very different ways.
...ation of men and women to the reader; we accept the cliché’s and gender-roles as the collective standard.
The first one is when Annie shared her experience of listening Sam’s story with her colleagues. Annie and her bestie had shared sympathy, while two male officers laughed and made jokes about it. The underlying idea is that men would not understand women’s thought. Men live in Mars; women live in Venus. It presents the stereotype that sex is very different; they would not understand opposite gender’s feeling. The point is exaggerated again in the later movie when Sam and his cousin talked about a movie that they felt sentimental but female wouldn’t understand the feeling. It is basically reaffirmed the stereotype that men and women are totally different creature as they have hard time understanding each
Women have a different way of viewing the world, because of the culture not the nature. They tend to write diaries, autobiographies, poetry…because the cultural context in which they write asks for that kind of literature .
While the Old Man and Old Woman agreed, from the beginning, that the man should have first say and the woman the second, they both had equal input into decisions. When they were discussing the duty of tanning the hides, the man said "the women will have the duty . . . they will rub the animals’ brains on the hides to make them soft and scrape them with scraping tools. All this they will do very quickly, for it will not be hard work" (539). The woman did not completely agree with the man’s ideas about how this should be done. The woman suggested, "they must tan hides in the way you say; but it must be very hard work, so that good workers may be found out" (539). The Old Man and Old Woman used compromise in making this decision. While the woman had the final say, she did agree to part of the man’s original idea, while also adding some input of her own.
...terpretation of language. “Women and men sometimes perceive the same messages to have different meanings” (Torppa). Everybody has seen the affects of this difference in interpretation in society. It is the reason why there are more women at Celine Dion Concerts, and why there are more men attend heavy metal concerts.