Conflict Management

Conflict Management

CONFLICT is inevitable in any interpersonal relationship or among members of any group. While we encounter various types of conflict in many of our life situations, we often feel a lack of confidence and vision of what is really appropriate to do. Most students find the conflict in their personal relationships already quite stressful, thus any conflict within student organizations becomes overwhelmingly unbearable. Those who have lower tolerance level for anxiety often choose to leave the organization.

WHY do we shy away from dealing with our conflict? It is often because many of us were raised to believe that conflict is something to be avoided, an experience of failure. However, conflict does not have to lead to failure, or even to the termination of a relationship. We all come to see and experience the world in a different way, and we all have different ideas about what is best for "my group" or "our group". Recognizing this fact can help free us from the negative conclusion that conflict is a signal of failure. It is actually a signal that change is needed, and even possible.

The ability to manage conflict is probably one of the most important social skills an individual can possess.

There are several styles of conflict management that people use, some of which are more effective than others.

COMPETING - An individual pursues his or her own concerns at the other person's expense. This is a power oriented mode, in which one uses whatever power seems appropriate to win one's own position: one's ability to argue, one's rank, or economi...

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...n dealing with the types of people:

Start to negotiate anyway.

Explain why it is in their best interest to negotiate, and why it is worthwhile for them to deal with the existing problems between you.

Talk about problems that are theirs and how the collaboration will help solve them.

Make it their problem. For example: bring to their attention the joint image that your sub-groups project for the organization.

WHEN TRUST IS AN ISSUE - here are a few suggestions for this problem:

Be trustworthy. Do what you said you would do.

Find a higher value you both agree on. For example; you both want to project your group image.

Listen

Make an agreement in such a way that you know when it is carried out.

Start small

There are people who simply can't or won't trust you, but do your best anyway.