Chapter 8: Facing Bullies
If you are a victim of bullying then you are probably a strong person. However, this may not exactly be the strength you are used to perceiving as a strength.
You are strong because you are kind and compassionate. Most often than not, the trap of being a nice person sets you as a potential bully-victim and complicates your confrontation with the bully.
Bullies like “the challenge” of a strong person.
If by reading these lines you managed to see your own bully, that is great! That is a wonderful and vital step on the road to treating your bully with compassion and helping him be easier on you. You should be looking forward to great times ahead. You will finally be able to take that policeman in your head for a
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Because of the way we are socialized, there are some usual traps that you can fall into when you are trying to deal with bullies. If you want to ease down the burden of the long-lasting consequences produced by bullying and to help your child do the same, it is worth keeping an eye of these traps.
Niceness
The trap of niceness is about the following belief:
“I don’t want to use the same tools that the bully uses to hurt me. I am not like the bully.”
Responding in an undesirable, violent and aggressive way does not make you the same. Sometimes, it is the only language the bully will understand. Often, it is what works the best.
Toughness
The trap of toughness is about the following belief:
“No one can hurt me. I am a tough person. The bully’s words and actions don’t touch me.”
Bullying is a very undermining behavior, which produces long-term negative effects to self-esteem and mental health. There is only so much effort you can make to stay tough under someone’s attacks. It is okay to be soft, vulnerable, hurt and to allow or show that someone’s words and actions can hurt.
Not Asking for
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I don’t need anyone to help me.”
Being an independent and a mature person is excellent, but for life’s challenges like bullying, you really can’t do all yourself! If nothing else, a trained professional can offer a fresh perspective. At its best, professionals can help you grow and nurture your powers in a supportive way so that you set an example of a healthy power balance in your relationships.
Untimely Aggression
This one is tricky because it is a sum of the above behaviors.
If you try to handle a bullying situation that is above your limits, you can get yourself into situations where you have to respond in ways you didn’t expect to.
If there is any way in which you can prioritize the gentle approach, do it. By no means I suggest you resort to violence unless you have to. In time, as you become more aware of people’s motives and learn to recognize early signs of bullying from the people around you, you will find the right balance between pushing too strongly and being too
Although bullying itself can be violent behavior, often times violence is an actual after effect of the harm done by the bullying. Because of the depression or low self esteem after a bullying incident, both bullies and victims sometimes feel the need to lash out violently in order to handle the situation at hand. Although this is not necessary, in some minds this is the only way to handle a situation. These violent lashes can often lead to more serious violence and even illegal activity that could end in criminal charges. One clear cut way to avoid some of these major violence issues is to know how to handle the
...you, it is possible to overcome a bullying situation. Facing the aggressors themselves should not be considered. Knowing that there is family there for support is always a benefit. The most important thing to know is that it is not at all your fault if you become the victim of aggression. Know that you are not alone in your struggle and know that when it is over you will come out of the situation knowing yourself better and will be able to help other cope in the same situation.
Bullying has many negative effects on many people such as the victim, the bully himself, and society. Studies show these effects may turn out to be short-term or long-term.
Though anyone can become vulnerable to bullying, there are some commonalties between the victims. Bullies are inclined to choose a certain type of person to abuse. Typically, people who are not as strong as them. “Victims of bullying are often younger, smaller, or weaker- physically or emotionally – than their tormentors” (“Bullying” 1). Targets of bullies almost always stand out for this sole reason. They tend to wear glasses, have flaws on their face, or have a body that isn’t considered perfect by society. Sometimes, they are bullied due to their achievements. Obviously, victims of bullying are not fond of the harassment they receive. They are subjected to unwanted name calling and teasing. “I don’t want this. I don’t want people picking on me and I don’t want to be fat…I just want to be me” (Hall 222). When children are constantly abused they lose their identity. Victims are repeatedly referred to as a name that they get into the habit of it…eventually forgetting who they really are. Clearly, for once, they wish to find that person they once were – instead of being somebody a bully has made t...
accept being lesser of a person than the bully. The act is heartless and subversive to
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” was often a phrase repeated when we were growing up to make us feel better. The speaker in the video To This Day responds to this popular saying by stating “As if broken bones hurt more than the names we got called and we got called them all”.1 The phrase “kids will be kids” is another common one heard growing up. It seems to make it acceptable for children to be cruel to others and that the children being bullied should just rise above it because “it’s just words.” Too often, society puts a stigma towards people who have bullied as weak.
Bullying by definition is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions. [Why] Bullying has grown new outlets over the last decade. With social media outlets and text messaging added to the game, bullying is not just about getting tormented face to face anymore. Cyber bullying can include sending out mean or threatening emails and instant messages about a person, spreading rumors about someone and also include photos that a person would consider to be humiliating. [Chamberlin] Bullying can have many outlets. The most common form of bullying is still face to face confrontation. But the other outlets, such as cyber bullying are definitely not something to take lightly or consider low on a scale of importance. Sexual harassment, racial differences, not being “cool enough”, or just simply being viewed as a weaker individual may attribute to many of the reasons a person is preyed on.
From birth, growing up is difficult. Learning how to crawl, then, walk, some babies even break their ankles to learn the tasks. That is just apart of life, but there are many more hurtles that growing kids have to overcome and conquer. Bully 's are a fact of life. Each household and person is different, and family issues, a major cause of bullying, is far from uncommon. In our adult lives we have to interact with others to move forward in life, unless you choose to live in wilderness, you must earn how to deal with a bully or bullies.
Jack was at the park. Jack thinks he is cool when he is a bully. The article Cool to Be Kind stated,'' many school are teaching teens how to tune in to others' feelings.'' When he was a bully. He was being mean to everybody. Then everybody start to being mean to him. He do not like to be upset because he like to be happy. Always remember one thing don't ever sink to their level of disrespect, try to make peace with them. Hopefully, I gave you good advice on how to take care of a bully. And hopefully this will never happen to you. Sometimes parents may not know if their child is being bullied. Some children are intimidated into secrecy. They may also keep quiet because they feel shameful that they have allowed this to happen. They may fear that the parents will either criticize them or that the parents will intervene in a way that will make everything worse. Always keep your patients no matter what they do. Also let them know how you feel when they bully you. Let them know that they are hurting you, and that they are hurting themselves. Always remember one thing don't ever sink to their level of disrespect, try to make peace with them. Hopefully, I gave you good advice on how to take care of a bully. And hopefully this will never happen to you. Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they
What is Bullying? Bullying is an act in which a person, commonly known as a bully, uses force to threaten and dominate others especially those who are weaker and less powerful than they are. In our world today, bullying is rampant especially in schools, in working areas, in the internet, and even in one’s own household. It is an act in which many people, mostly those who are seen as weak and unable to defend themselves, suffer a lot by those so called bullies. It ruins the life of the victim of bullying. Some people may even go to the extent of killing himself/herself just to escape such harshness. Although some can stand up for themselves with such belittling and over empowerment of someone else towards them, some just give up and face day-to-day the punishment which they never deserve. In school, there are many types of people that you will meet. One of those people or a couple of them may be bullies who like to hurt people maybe not always physically but also mentally and emotionally. The officers at school, mostly composed of those who are in the student government, and even those in the members of the faculty just don’t mind such act, and go with their day knowing that they can do something to help that victim of bullying.
The almost universal way someone would bully another would be face-to-face in which the victim would be much smaller both physically and emotionally than the person doing the bullying. The victim would would have two options: the victim could fight back and risk possible punishment as well as the bully or the victim
Bullying is a serious issue and has an adverse effect that could lead to depression, anxiety, and worse suicide. To become a bully takes a long process, with the help from parents, schools, communities, and social media, bullies and bullying can be prevented.
Bullying is a form of violence, a way to gain the power to repress the weak.
...child, chances are they will display those behaviors to someone they have picked out of their classroom. Tell your child they can always trust you and talk to you about anything that is going on in their life, not only the bad areas. Whether it is physical, verbal, indirect, or cyber bullying, it can have serious consequences and effects on the child that can cause physical, mental, or emotional problems for the rest of their life. Knowing what the warning signs of bullying might save a life.
To summarise , In our planet and all over the world , bullying is a severe issue that is often that is interpreted as “ being strong and cool” , however this behaviour affects physical health , mental health and so on. It can have drastic changes in children’s life . Also workplace bullying is a serious problem. Whole of society should be concerned at the effect on the mental health. Say STOP TO BULLYING .