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Effects of different parenting styles on child
Parenting styles advantages and disadvantages
Effects of different parenting styles on child
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Essay 3 All parents raise their children differently, using various methods they probably learned from their own parents. Parents like Amy Chua raise their children with tough love, discipline, and a multitude of rules, coining the name "tiger mom." Chua views her parenting technique as supreme, but it is highly controversial to the public and it brings up many questions of the effect it will have on her children 's ' future. In Chua 's "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior," she emphasizes that Western parenting is not strict enough which cause children to grow up being disrespectful and less achieving than children brought up by tiger moms. I believe that tiger parenting is damaging towards the child and that the Western style of parenting is …show more content…
This view makes children feel like an instrument, rather than a loved human being. Children don 't choose their parents, let alone choose to be born. Kids do not owe their parents, and if anything, the parents owe their kids everything. Parents should not choose the routes that their kids go in life, but rather influence it keeping in mind their child 's desires and passions. It isn 't that Chinese parents don 't love their kids, instead it is quite the opposite. They love them so much that they feel that have to do everything for them to guide them in the right direction by making all the decisions for them. This a form of "authoritarian parenting." This means parents establish rules that must be followed with no exceptions. Authoritarian parenting comes with forceful measures which "may result in children who are unhappy, have a large gap in social skills and often have low self-esteem" (parentingabout.net). This shows that Amy Chua 's form of authoritarian parenting as a tiger mom can have major long term effects on her …show more content…
However, she never considers the long term effects that Western style parenting has that is superior to her tiger mom parenting style. "Western parents seem much more concerned about their children’s psyches, their self-esteem, whereas tough immigrant parents assume strength rather than fragility in their children and therefore behave completely differently” (Luscombe). The Chinese parents ' lack of consideration for their children 's feelings put their future well being at risk. In fact, "suicide in China accounts for 26% of all suicides worldwide" (WHO). This astonishing fact causes people to raise eyebrows towards the long term effects that Chinese parenting causes. It gives children low self-esteem and depression that domino effect out of control as they grow
Like the name of this article suggests, the writer's main purpose is to persuade the audience to make them believe that Chinese mothers are indeed superior. To support her argument she uses different methods to appeal to her audience's favor: she uses statistics of researches about Chinese mothers and Western mothers opinions, opinions that are mostly about how parents should or should not do when they are raising their children. She also uses passages of her life as a Chinese mother to support her argument. Also, she points out a few characteristics of western parents that are completely opposite to how a Chinese mother raises their children, which made her argument stronger. Nevertheless, there were some fallacies in her logic. One of her main fallacies is what we call "Hasty Generalization".
Amy Chua utilizes evidence to verify that Western parenting practice is wrong and not as effective as Chinese parenting practice. In her article, Chua comments, “Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable-even legally actionable-to Westerners, “Hey fatty-lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue” (Chua 54). She also gives her observation as evidence to convince Westerners treat their kid wrongly. She adds her observation in her article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” “I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her “beautiful and incredibly competent.” She later told me that made her feel like garbage” (Chua 54). Brooks, in opposite, does not fight against to prove Chinese parenting techniques are completely wrong. However, he just want to give evidence so that Chua and Chinese, in common, understand Western parenting practices are good in some ways. In Brooks’ article, he clears, “So I’m not against the way Chua pushes her daughters” (Brooks 59). Furthermore, David Brooks writes in his article “I wish she recognized that in some important ways the school cafeteria is more intellectually demanding than the library” (Brooks
Firstly, the relationship expectations in Chinese customs and traditions were strongly held onto. The daughters of the Chinese family were considered as a shame for the family. The sons of the family were given more honour than the daughters. In addition, some daughters were even discriminated. “If you want a place in this world ... do not be born as a girl child” (Choy 27). The girls from the Chinese family were considered useless. They were always looked down upon in a family; they felt as if the girls cannot provide a family with wealth. Chinese society is throwing away its little girls at an astounding rate. For every 100 girls registered at birth, there are 118 little boys in other words, nearly one seventh of Chinese girl babies are going missing (Baldwin 40). The parents from Chinese family had a preference for boys as they thought; boys could work and provide the family income. Due to Chinese culture preference to having boys, girls often did not have the right to live. In the Chinese ethnicity, the family always obeyed the elder’s decision. When the family was trying to adapt to the new country and they were tryin...
Chinese parenting is competent at times but there are other times where it is more suitable to follow other forms of parenting such as the Western style.These findings have important consequences for the broader domain of parent-child relationships. Whether it is Chinese parenting or Western parenting the relationship between family members is crucial. According to Amy Chua, Chinese parenting is more effective in helping the child attain a better future through the parents’ interests, while Western parenting style reflects mainly the interests of the child.
Zhao, L. 2006. Woguo chengshi diyidai dushengziyu fumu de shengming li cheng: cong zhongnian kongchao jiating de chuxian tanqi [The Life Course of Parents of First Generation Only Children in Urban China: A Discussion About Empty-Nest Families of Middle-Adulthood]. Youth Studies 6
The Chinese mothers, so concentrated on the cultures of their own, don't want to realize what is going on around them. They don't want to accept the fact that their daughters are growing up in a culture so different from their own. Lindo Jong, says to her daughter, Waverly- "I once sacrificed my life to keep my parents' promise. This means nothing to you because to you, promises mean nothing. A daughter can promise to come to dinner, but if she has a headache, a traffic jam, if she wants to watch a favorite movie on T.V., she no longer has a promise."(Tan 42) Ying Ying St.Clair remarks- "...because I remained quiet for so long, now my daughter does not hear me. She sits by her fancy swimming pool and hears only her Sony Walkman, her cordless phone, her big, important husband asking her why they have charcoal and no lighter fluid."(Tan 64)
Amy Chua (2011) names off three reasons that support her argument in why Chinese children are more successful. First, she mentions that Westerners worry too much on how their child will accept failure, whereas Chinese parents assume only strength in their child and nothing less. For example, if a Western child comes home with a B on a test, some parents will praise the child on their success and some may be upset, while a Chinese parent would convince their child they are “worthless” and “a disgrace.” The Western parents hope to spare their children’s feelings and to be careful not to make their child feel insecure or inadequate, while Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe their children can get them (Chua, 2011). Secondly, Chinese parents believe their chil...
When Amy Chua, a professor at Yale, wrote her personal memoir in 2011 called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, controversy arose regarding the topic of an extreme parenting type called a “Tiger Mom” (Tiger Mom). When The Wall Street Journal posted an excerpt from Chua’s book on their website, it received over 7,000 comments both positive and negative including death threats (Extreme Parenting). In her book, Chua describes is forcing her 7-year old daughter to stay up all night without bathroom or drink breaks until she was able to play a certain piano piece (Extreme Parenting). Her daughter rebels, drops violin, and takes up tennis (Luscombe). Extreme parents exert great pressure on their child to meet expectations, and if they are not met, the child may be punished (Hatter). The MacMillan Dictionary defines a tiger mom as “a very strict mother who makes her children work particularly hard and restricts their free time so they continually achieve the highest grades,” (Tiger Mother).
In the contemporary world, parenting is a difficult job. Different parenting styles will result in different outcomes. Amy Chua, an author who published a controversial article about parenting her children in an “authoritarian” way. Authoritarian parenting is a way to restrict your children away from participating in any activities besides academic-related. She believes academics are more important than everything else so she does not let her children choose their own extracurricular activities and get any grade less than A. I personally disagree with Amy Chua’s assertion that an ‘authoritarian’ parenting style is superior to other parenting styles. The ‘authoritarian’ parenting style limits children’s potential and development
A specification on how a child is taught to be obedient and respectful to parents relates to complying with orders of their parents. “孝順” (Chinese pinyin: “xiaoshun”, also known as filial piety), is a virtue valued by most Chinese, raised by the Confucian philosophers as early as in Han dynasty. Filial Piety typically refers to “Children’s attitudes about how they should treat their parents” (Chen, W. W. & Wu, C. W., 2017, p. 441). To be a “xiaoshun” child includes attending to their parents’ instructions and needs, taking care of them as they grow old and age (Yeh, K. H., & Bedford, O.,
Mothers such as Chua are convinced that they know what’s best for their child in almost every aspect of their life. Between school and activities out of school, decisions are usually made up by the mother and not by the child in the Chinese parenting method. Western parents would much rather hold back on making every decision, instead teaching the child to make their own decisions and to weigh out the consequences. Again in Chinese parenting, mothers also believe that it is better to be harsh on the child rather than baby them throughout development. Western mothers on the other hand will take a different path and will always keep the feelings of the child in mind when conducting punishment. Both of the methods are correct in some aspects, but sometimes it takes a little more than just a compromise between the two in order to
Parenting styles have been widely defined by Baumrind into three categories, authoritative, authoritarian and permissive. Parenting styles can be defined as a pattern of attitudes in how parents choose to express and communicate with their children. These styles are categorized based on the level of nurturance, parental control and level of responsiveness (Dwairy, 2004). Authoritative style exhibits high levels of demand, responsiveness and nurturance; authoritarian style exhibits high levels of demand but low levels of responsiveness, permissive style exhibits low levels of demand but high in responsiveness and nurturance (Dwairy, 2004). These parenting styles have been proposed to have a significant impact on a child’s development as well as academic achievement and psychological well-being. Children reared by authoritative parents are stated to have the highest levels of academic achievement, self-esteem, emotional adjustment and well-being according to Baumrind’s category of styles (Dwairy, 2004). However, these three categories are based on Western samples and have been said to describe parenting styles mainly in the West and question its limitations in describing parenting across cultures, as each style’s defining patterns may have different meanings across cultures.
The two notable parenting styles discussed in Amy Chua’s article, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” are the Western style parenting and the Chinese Tiger Mom style parenting. Chua explains the methods, the advantages and the disadvantages of both styles. She believes that Tiger Mom parenting is superior to Western parenting. In her article, Chua proves that raising children with the firm belief that failure is unacceptable will prepare them for the future.
According to the article “Rather than confirming the home as a haven from the heartless world, this study has revealed the heartlessness of the system in which mothers and nannies are caught,” the researcher wants people to know, instead of that the child becoming a well respectful adult in society, there is a possibility that the child will experience some trouble in becoming that person in his/her later life, because of the constant conflict between mothers and nannies; puppeteer is the main reason for these conflict.
To be more specific, authoritarian parents are close to their children because they usually get involved in their child’s every activity. According to Amy Chua, the author of “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior”, she claims that, “Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children.” Chua’s point is that Chinese parents are likely to spend time with their kids to make sure that their kids are doing well and safe. For example, when kids have assignments from school, helicopter parents would help with their kids’ homework. Some strict parents may not teach their kids’ homework, but they would force or push their kids to do homework by keeping an eye on them. In this way, raising children by forcing and controlling them also makes children more successful in their academic skills because children would develop a sense of