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Parenting styles and how they affect children
Parenting styles and how they affect children
Parenting styles and how they affect children
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“In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that ‘stressing academic success is not good for children’ or that ‘parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.’ By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Instead, the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be ‘the best’ students, that ‘academic achievement reflects successful parenting,’ and that if children did not excel at school then there was ‘a problem’ and parents ‘were not doing their job.’ … Chinese parents spend approximately ten times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams” (Chua 5). Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua is an engulfing novel which clearly distinguishes the difference between Western style of parenting and the Chinese style of parenting. The quote stated above shows some of the statistics that we completed to write this book. The story is a breathless and emotional memoir of Amy Chua, consisting mostly her two daughters and husband. While the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother appears to be about the battle between a parent and a child and the relationship they share, the author, Amy Chua, has actually implied that it is important for the children to start developing skills early on to benefit in the future as well as be successful in their lives.
Chua believes that Chinese parents force their children to be academically successful in order to reach “higher” goals in life. She emphasizes this when she states “…Chinese parents have … higher dreams for their children…” (Chua 8). Although Amy set higher s...
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... to try it. Even if the parents think they know what is best for the child, it is for the child to decide what will make them happy, and successful in life. You must enjoy what you are doing to be successful in it.
Chinese parenting is competent at times but there are other times where it is more suitable to follow other forms of parenting such as the Western style.These findings have important consequences for the broader domain of parent-child relationships. Whether it is Chinese parenting or Western parenting the relationship between family members is crucial. According to Amy Chua, Chinese parenting is more effective in helping the child attain a better future through the parents’ interests, while Western parenting style reflects mainly the interests of the child.
Works Cited
Chua, Amy. Battle hymn of the tiger mother . New York: Penguin Press, 2011. Print.
Like the name of this article suggests, the writer's main purpose is to persuade the audience to make them believe that Chinese mothers are indeed superior. To support her argument she uses different methods to appeal to her audience's favor: she uses statistics of researches about Chinese mothers and Western mothers opinions, opinions that are mostly about how parents should or should not do when they are raising their children. She also uses passages of her life as a Chinese mother to support her argument. Also, she points out a few characteristics of western parents that are completely opposite to how a Chinese mother raises their children, which made her argument stronger. Nevertheless, there were some fallacies in her logic. One of her main fallacies is what we call "Hasty Generalization".
Amy Chua utilizes evidence to verify that Western parenting practice is wrong and not as effective as Chinese parenting practice. In her article, Chua comments, “Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable-even legally actionable-to Westerners, “Hey fatty-lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue” (Chua 54). She also gives her observation as evidence to convince Westerners treat their kid wrongly. She adds her observation in her article “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior,” “I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her “beautiful and incredibly competent.” She later told me that made her feel like garbage” (Chua 54). Brooks, in opposite, does not fight against to prove Chinese parenting techniques are completely wrong. However, he just want to give evidence so that Chua and Chinese, in common, understand Western parenting practices are good in some ways. In Brooks’ article, he clears, “So I’m not against the way Chua pushes her daughters” (Brooks 59). Furthermore, David Brooks writes in his article “I wish she recognized that in some important ways the school cafeteria is more intellectually demanding than the library” (Brooks
In the Article “Amy Chua Is A Wimp” by David Brook. He points out chinese parents mindset and approach. Amy is a wimp for not allowing her children to experience the truly demanding cognitive, such as participating in the most intellectually demanding activities. Chua's intentions of isolating her childrens from the group is not allowing her children to be emotionally intellectual. Chua’s style of chinese parenting is pressuring her children to focus only on academic success. Due to Chua’s strict parenting method her kids are not truly creative and passionate. Chua’s firm guarding enables her children to build the sense of maturity and knowing the reality of the world. Therefore, Chua’s superior parenting style should not be praised.
Lindo Jong provides the reader with a summary of her difficulty in passing along the Chinese culture to her daughter: “I wanted my children to have the best combination: American circumstances and Chinese character. How could I know these two things do not mix? I taught her how American circumstances work. If you are born poor here, it's no lasting shame . . . You do not have to sit like a Buddha under a tree letting pigeons drop their dirty business on your head . . . In America, nobody says you have to keep the circumstances somebody else gives you. . . . but I couldn't teach her about Chinese character . . . How to know your own worth and polish it, never flashing it around like a cheap ring. Why Chinese thinking is best”(Tan 289).
She started working at seventeen years old to support her family. In her situation, the necessity of supporting her family is very significant in her life. In Chinese tradition, parents do not expect anything from their sons and daughters, but the sense of respect towards the hard work that Chinese parents do for their kids is a must for successful men and women to support their parents with their free-will. These people are grateful that their parents gave them existence—creating opportunities for searching for ethical values that will help them succeed.
"My mother believed you could be anything you wanted to be in America" (491). This ideology inspired Jing-mei’s mother to work hard to create a better life for herself and her family in a new country. The search of the American dream exerts a powerful influence on new arrivals in the United States. However, realizing that they may not achieve the dream of material success and social acceptance, parents tend to transfer that burden to their children. It is a burden where dreams usually fall short of expectations.
Amy Chua (2011) names off three reasons that support her argument in why Chinese children are more successful. First, she mentions that Westerners worry too much on how their child will accept failure, whereas Chinese parents assume only strength in their child and nothing less. For example, if a Western child comes home with a B on a test, some parents will praise the child on their success and some may be upset, while a Chinese parent would convince their child they are “worthless” and “a disgrace.” The Western parents hope to spare their children’s feelings and to be careful not to make their child feel insecure or inadequate, while Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe their children can get them (Chua, 2011). Secondly, Chinese parents believe their chil...
are taught by their parents that determination and persistency are the keys to academic achievements. In addition, many Asian parents are extremely involved and invested in their children’s education. For many first-generation immigrant and refugee parents, they believe the way to realize the American dream is through higher education and professional status. They encourage t...
A parent’s parenting styles are as diverse as the world we live in today. Nowadays, parents only want what is best for their children and their parenting styles plays a crucial role in the development of children which will in the long run, not only effect the child’s childhood years, but later prolong into their adult life as well.
Chinese parents admire general education in American education system because it availably provides more multifaceted education to their children than traditional Chinese education. Focusing on American education system, student...
Chao, R. K. (1994). Beyond parental control and authoritarian parenting style: Understanding chinese parenting through the cultural notion of training. Society for Research in Child Development, 65(4), 1111-1119.
However, she never considers the long term effects that Western style parenting has that is superior to her tiger mom parenting style. "Western parents seem much more concerned about their children’s psyches, their self-esteem, whereas tough immigrant parents assume strength rather than fragility in their children and therefore behave completely differently” (Luscombe). The Chinese parents ' lack of consideration for their children 's feelings put their future well being at risk. In fact, "suicide in China accounts for 26% of all suicides worldwide" (WHO). This astonishing fact causes people to raise eyebrows towards the long term effects that Chinese parenting causes. It gives children low self-esteem and depression that domino effect out of control as they grow
Many immigrants saw America as the land of opportunity, a place where dreams come true. They wanted their family to have a better life in America and they often saw their children as the only way to achieve success. They strove for their children’s success to make sure they have a bright future and didn’t realize how harmful and destructive their approach may be. They wanted their children to be successful Americans, but at the same time they were afraid the second generation could go through a process of cultural change ( Hoyte 2014). Although Jing-mei’s mother reassures her daughter “Only ask you be your best. For your sake”(Tan 379), there is still the mother’s belief her daughter can be a genius if only she tries hard (Hoyte 2014). There is the pressure, the discomfort and the dreams of the parent that the child suffers from.
In today’s society, the fixed model for ordinary Chinese student is working hard on their study since very young to be admitted by better primary school, middle school and high school and then, they would get high marks in Gaokao, which is a kind of exam like ACT, to enter some best universities to get a well-paid job in the future. As the fierce competition in China, parents ask their children to put 100% energy in study and they usually think working part-time would decrease school success because of less study time. Gwen (2012) notes most of Chinese parents are more strict in study than American parents. They push their children to study, practice more and get achievement and give children enough financial support. Furthermore, many Chinese students think doing extra part-time job would make them feel more stressful because most of them are forced to go institutions to have extra classes at the weekend. As a result, many Chinese people do not have positive attitudes toward students working
“Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” is an excerpt from Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua, a Yale Law professor. In this excerpt the author explains why Chinese children tend to be more successful in life and expresses her dislike towards Western parenting. The first idea Chua explains is a list of activities her daughters are allowed to do and not do in order to focus solely on academic progress. Second, the author demonstrates the contrast in mindset between Chinese mothers and Western mothers by explaining how Chinese mothers feel differently than Western mothers in regards to academic success and learning. Furthermore, she describes how Chinese mothers can demand things from their children. Finally, they can also say