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The History of Love essay
The History of Love essay
The nature of love
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In her book, Against Love, Laura Kipnis explains her views on love and why she is against it. She begins with an explanation of how maturity plays into love; maturity in love is seen as the willingness to settle down while immaturity is not wanting to commit. Then she gives a tour of love throughout history, stating that romantic love didn't exist until only a few centuries ago. Also, Kipnis believes that advanced intimacy, one of the essential things to keep a relationship healthy, isn’t good and an overall scary experience. Lastly she lists off an endless list of arbitrary things that you can not do in a relationship anymore. Kipnis contends that if it helps a society to have its citizens believe that it’s shameful to start over, or that wanting more from a relationship is illicit, grizzly acts of self mutilation are clearly needed. However, I believe that love is, in essence, unnecessary. One can live their entire life without …show more content…
Love is pointless because most of the things it provides can also be provided by platonic friends. Also, platonic friends usually won’t require a restriction of freedom to attain things such as companionship or a feeling of self worth, which love provides at the cost of required sacrifice. Kipnis, however, believes that love is “most essentially human” (P 1). Kipnis, despite being against love in her essay, still acknowledges her view that love is an essential thing for humans. Essential is too strong a word to use for love. I think that love itself is pointless to search for, but if you stumble on a pure love that provides more than it steals, then it’s certainly something to pursue, and possibly consider marrying them. I don’t think that this makes love an essential thing, but instead it’s the want and the need to reproduce that is essential to being human; this goal of reproduction is most attainable when you’re married, so a pure love helps the goal
In Chapter 4, The Cruel Hand, Michelle Alexander does a great job analyzing the issues that many inmates go through when they get out of prison. This chapter was a bit more interesting to read compared to the last one. One passage that stood out to me was when Michelle Alexander stated, “Even if the defendant manages to avoid prison time by accepting a “generous” plea deal, he may discover that the punishment that awaits him outside the courthouse doors is far more severe” (Michelle Alexander Pg. 142). Like I mentioned in the beginning, when inmates are done serving their sentence they usually suffer on the outside world. That is because they’re now being labeled as criminals in our society and corporates/businesses have a little leverage on
Erin George’s A Woman Doing Life: Notes from a Prison for Women sheds light on her life at the Fluvanna Correctional Center for Women (FCCW) where she was sentenced for the rest of her life for first-degree murder. It is one of the few books that take the reader on a journey of a lifer, from the day of sentencing to the day of hoping to being bunked adjacent to her best friend in the geriatric ward.
The city of Denver and the challenges confronting its elected leaders, are no different than any other large city, one of the most problematic of which, includes enhancing the quality of public schools for ethnic minority students from lower socio-economic neighborhoods. Katherine Boo’s, “Expectations”, provides a narrative centered on Superintendent Michael Bennett and the implementation of his ambitious strategy to raise high school graduation standards throughout the Denver public school system. Bennett’s plan to achieve this lofty goal illustrates the “four tides,” or philosophies, of administrative reform: liberation management by allowing students from underperforming schools to attend any high quality public school of their choice; (2) a war on waste through the closure of Manual High School; (3) a watchful eye with computer tracking to ensure student accountability; and (4) scientific management with increased and meticulous academic standards.
Deborah Tannen’s essay, “There Is No Unmarked Woman”, explores the idea of “marked” and “unmarked” words, styles, titles, and how females have no ability to choose an unmarked position. She also posits that “The unmarked forms of most English words also convey ‘male’” (88). Tannen is incorrect in her premise because females are able to choose unmarked hair and clothing styles, many unmarked forms of words no longer convey “male,” and men are marked just as often as women.
Laura Deeb’s An Enchanted Modern: Gender and Public Piety in Shi’i Lebanon seeks to rectify post-9/11 notions of political Islam as anti-modern and incongruous with Western formulations of secular modernity. Specifically, Deeb is writing in opposition to a Weberian characterization of modern secular Western societies as the development of bureaucracies through social rationalization and disenchantment. Within this Weberian framework Deeb asserts that Shia communities are in-part modern because of the development of beuorocratic institutions to govern and regulate religious practice. However, Deeb makes a stronger argument oriented towards dislodging the assumptions "that Islamism is static and monolithic, and that
In the featured article, “Beside Oneself: On the Limits of Sexual Autonomy,” the author, Judith Butler, writes about her views on what it means to be considered human in society. Butler describes to us the importance of connecting with others helps us obtain the faculties to feel, and become intimate through our will to become vulnerable. Butler contends that with the power of vulnerability, the rolls pertaining to humanity, grief, and violence, are what allows us to be acknowledged as worthy.
Meghan Daum, born in1970 in California, is an American author, essayist, and journalist. Her article “Virtual Love” published in the August 25-September 1, 1997 issue of The New Yorker follows the author’s personal encounter with cyberspace relationships. Through this article the author presents to us the progress of an online relationship that after seeming entertaining and life changing at the beginning becomes nothing more than a faded memory. In fact she even ends the text stating that “reality is seldom able to match the expectations raised by intoxication of an idealized cyber romance.”(Daum, 1997, P.10) Daum concludes that online-dating or virtual love rarely survives the physical world when confronted by its obstacles such as its pace, idealization, and mainly expectations. However, although the message of the author is true, yet the way by which it was conveyed is found faulty.
One day, John from Oleanna and Laura Kipnis, author of “Unwanted Advances” meet in a coffee shop and have a discussion. They discuss a myriad of ordinary topics and then eventually get onto the topic of intellectual freedom. While Kipnis claims to be a feminist, she seems to value intellectual freedom above all else in her essay, so she would probably agree with John on the importance of intellectual freedom. Along similar lines, Kipnis would probably urge to John that sexual paranoia is leading to a decrease in the expression of thought and intellectual freedom. In Kipnis’s “Unwanted Advances”, she writes about how sexual paranoia is changing the overall climate at higher education institutions. Kipnis writes, “the culture of sexual paranoia
In life all humanity faces a struggle or heartbreak that seems almost impossible to make it through. In the poem Everybody Has a Heartache the author Joy Harjo discusses and introduces the opinion that everyone faces a heartache or blues. The author goes into detail about the different kinds of heartbreak that goes on in a variety of peoples’ everyday life. This poem was very interesting to me because the author chose very diverse and out of the normal heartbreaks for her characters to face rather than the normal heartbreaks that everyone can see. The author used several literary devices to establish an emotional connection with the readers.
...ause of their own free will. The theme of love is widely portrayed in the world. Love matters because it is what ties two people together through commitment and pain. However, there are those who pervert the idea of love and treat it as if it is filled with lust and pleasure-seeking opportunities. In society, young and reckless people “go out” with each other because they are desperate for excitement in their lives. Those who “go out” fail to realize that they shouldn’t be so committed to one another. Therefore, it is a waste of time at such a young age. Those who do should be paying attention to reality instead of their own fantasy. If adolescent people have love, it is only a hindrance from being who they want to be. In conclusion, love influences people to behave irrationally and to take chances that would otherwise seem irresponsible in the eyes of the mature.
We all experience losses as we grow older in life. These losses are usually about our physical or inner self. However, sometimes these losses could be about how our relationships with others have been lost or changed due to growing up. For example, in the story How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents by Julia Alvarez, four sisters suffer or experience losses as a result of growing up into older young women. All this started when the four sisters moved to the United States from the Dominican Republic at a young age. This affects the four sisters because they encounter problems or obstacles as they age into young adults. For instance, Julia Alvarez shows that growing up is a process of losing respect, sanity, and a loving friend.
In the story “Marriage” by Melanie Sumner we learn that the married couple goes to counseling over a disagreement due to a dirty milk glass. Every evening the man has a glass of milk, and instead of washing it or even rinsing it out, he puts it by the sink. The wife becomes outraged because she is sick and tired of cleaning out the “disgusting milk scum.” Rather than mediating the situation, the counselor blurts out, “‘He will never, never stop drinking that glass of milk before he goes to bed, and he will never rinse it out.’” Since the ending was left out, it is our job as a class to determine the correct ending out of six alternatives. I ordered this essay in which the endings seem least realistic, to most realistic. I chose the ending that
In the words of Peck, love is defined as an extension of ones self for the purpose to nurture ones own or another’s growth. Peck also emphasizes on the fact that to love someone is an act of will, it is choice made by the individual and isn’t based upon feelings, their will be many times in a relationship where an individual won’t feel like loving their spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, or in terms of non romantic relationships, friends and family. To will oneself to love someone is to love the other person even when you don’t feel like it. To wake up each day knowing that you choose to love this person. The difference between the worlds view on love and Pecks’ view on love is that when things get difficult you either leave because the feeling is no longer there or you choose to love the love the person through the difficulties that you both face and come out of it stronger. Peck describes what love is and what it isn’t. What he describes is much different from what the world describes it as. The world describes it as dependent, to live without your love is to die as displayed in Shakespeare “ Romeo and Juliet”. Peck states in his book that in order to truly love another person one must be able to live without that person. This implies the will to live and love this person despite being able to live with out the other
In Vladimir Nabokov's novel Lolita delusional love encourages violent actions. The protagonist Humbert Humbert is infatuated with prepubescent Dolores Haze. This vulgar love is based in possession and control, yet Humbert does not feel that he is in any way hurting young Lolita, also known as Dolores, and he feels that because he loves her there is no wrongdoing. By believing that she loves him back in the same way that he loves her, he is setting himself up for tragedy. When she is taken from him by an unknown predator Humbert embarks on a multi-year long journey in search of his lost nymphet. When he finally finds Dolores, barefoot and pregnant, she tells him of her stay with a relative named Clare Quilty whom she fell in love with. At Dolly’s home Humbert begs for her to return to him. Only when she denies him this he realizes the traumatic effects he has had on the girl because of his delusional love for her. By realizing that he, all along, was the villain of the story, he feels that he needs to murder Quilty in order to do right by Dolly, as a type of twisted
Gail Godwin's short story "A Sorrowful Woman" revolves around a wife and mother who becomes overwhelmed with her husband and child and withdraws from them, gradually shutting them completely out of her life. Unsatisfied with her role as dutiful mother and wife, she tries on other roles, but finds that none of them satisfy her either. She is accustomed to a specific role, and has a difficult time coping when a more extensive array of choices is presented to her. This is made clear in this section of the story.