“Virtual Love” by Meghan Daum: Critique.
Meghan Daum, born in1970 in California, is an American author, essayist, and journalist. Her article “Virtual Love” published in the August 25-September 1, 1997 issue of The New Yorker follows the author’s personal encounter with cyberspace relationships. Through this article the author presents to us the progress of an online relationship that after seeming entertaining and life changing at the beginning becomes nothing more than a faded memory. In fact she even ends the text stating that “reality is seldom able to match the expectations raised by intoxication of an idealized cyber romance.”(Daum, 1997, P.10) Daum concludes that online-dating or virtual love rarely survives the physical world when confronted by its obstacles such as its pace, idealization, and mainly expectations. However, although the message of the author is true, yet the way by which it was conveyed is found faulty.
The title, “Virtual Love”, is good for it correctly defines and restricts the subject and the general field of the article. It also doesn’t give away directly the author’s stance; at first we don’t know whether the author is against, with or simply explaining virtual love. However, it is so simple and unoriginal that it doesn’t attract the reader. A more creative title could have been something like “Love is blind; literally” in reference to how her love for PFSlider disappeared the moment she met him face to face although she was deeply attached to him during their online conversations. It could have also been: “My Prince Charming lives online” in reference to the fact that she created a perfect mold for the person she was talking to online. This explains why that person, no matter what he really is, w...
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...er-relationship through the lens and personal experience of the author Meghan Daum. After being exposed to the ups and downs that left a deep scar in the author, she concludes that the physical world stands as an obstacle in front of online-relationships. Overall, the author did a good job in presenting her idea and supporting it using personal experience and detailed descriptions. Yet she fails when restricting her support to her personal encounters and lacked power due to the many logical fallacies presented earlier such as her constant generalization, emotional appeals and finally the lack of counter argument. In the end, the reader is left with questions concerning virtual love, the physical world, and the ultimate desire to attain happiness since it’s quite hard to imagine that someone would be convinced with the idea of Daum simply due to her own experience.
In “Modern Romance,” Celeste Biever describes romantic relationships in the Internet community. She describes how people can romantically be involved on the Internet and how the Internet teaches one to learn about a person from the inside out.In “Cyberspace and Identity,” Sherry Turkle also expresses her interest in the Internet and how it allows for the act of self-exploration. Even though their focus on what the Internet is used for are different from the perspective of one another, Biever and Turkle both see the Internet as a place for exploration in a general sense.
She recalls a disagreement that took place on Facebook between her and a close friend over a few comments placed on her timeline. Wortham describes how she felt embarrassed over the pointless argument. She discloses “I’m the first one to confess my undying love of the Web’s rich culture and community, which is deeply embedded in my life. But that feud with a friend forced me to consider that the lens of the Web might be warping my perspective and damaging some important relationships” (171). Introducing her personal feelings and perspective of how she feels Facebook is taking over her own emotional response online weakens her argument. Wortham reasons that others feel the same as she does. She says, “This has alarmed some people, convincing them that it’s time to pull the plug and forgo the service altogether” (171). Wortham does not bring in other testimonies of those who feel the same as she does, therefore the readers are only introduced to her personal
Individuals conceived between the years of 1980 and 2000, as indicated by this article, experience serious difficulties finding their actual self due to the online networking outlets; they regularly depict another person life of a fantasy dream American life on the web. As today’s more youthful era makes the transition to adulthood, trying to accommodate between online and offline characters can be hard. “Van den Bergh asked 4,056 individuals, ages 15 to 25, when they felt they were or weren't being genuine online or logged off, with companions, folks, accomplices or employers.” Through this research he found,
Advances in technology have complicated the way in which people are connecting with others around them and how it separates people from reality. In “Virtual Love” by Meghan Daum, she illustrates through the narrator 's point of view how a virtual relationship of communicating through emails and text messages can mislead a person into thinking that they actually have a bond with a person whom they have stuck their ideals onto and how the physical worlds stands as an obstacle in front of their relationship when the couple finally meets. In comparison, the article … While Daum and X discuss that technology pushes us apart and disconnects us from the physical world, they evoke a new light into explaining how technology creates the illusion of making
Harrington, Brooke. Deception: From Ancient Empires to Internet Dating. Stanford, CA: Stanford UP, 2009. Print.
Barbara Lee Fredrickson, a psychologist, introduces a new conception of love to the readers. She tries to simplify the perception of love most people have known for their entire life. The special bonds and magical bond that continues the love for eternity are all myths and lies. Something that poisons our minds to be committed to one another. The definition of Fredrickson’s conception of “love” is more scientific than emotional. When defining love, it is more dependent on the activity of the brain, “positivity resonance”, and love hormones. The claim that Fredrickson makes in Love 2.0 does give a critical point of love, that it is simpler than you think. However, not every conception of love does Fredrickson explain it to be biological. The
Whitty, M. T (2008). Liberating or debilitating? An examination of romantic relationships, sexual relationships and friendships on the Net. Computers in Human Behavior [Online] 24 (5) p.1837–1850.
Furthermore, Internet users who use the internet for their relationship will tend to lose patience to conduct social relations in the real world. People who commu...
Rosen, Christine. “Virtual Friendship and the New Narcissism.” What Matters In America. Third Edition. Gary Goshgarian and Kathryn Goodfellow. New Jersey: Pearson, 2012. 52-60. Print.
The human need for affiliation creates the challenges and rewards of finding acquaintances, forming close friendships, as well as intimate relationships. Through technological advances cyberspace, or the internet, has become a place of multiple opportunities for people to be able to fulfill that need for affiliation. Websites, chat rooms, and online communities are just some examples of virtual platforms for people to seek others, come together, and find that special someone. These opportunities can result in positive outcomes allowing people to achieve what or whom they were seeking, but they can also result in harm to themselves and others, resulting with damaging consequences. Cyberspace does not come with a warning label. People who use the internet as a means to seek relationships are at risk of being exposed to positive as well as negative results. Being made aware of some of those risks and dangers, and realizing that forming relationships on the internet is not all fun and games, may be ways to help promote a positive future for cyberspace as a place to form successful relationships.
Around the world people love. They live for love, they write for love, the sing, eat, cook, die and kill for love (ForumNetwork, 2009). Since the beginning of recorded time, people have wondered why love is such an intense and universal feeling. There is no culture in this planet that does not have love (ForumNetwork, 2009). This essay will only talk about romantic love were sexuality and attraction are involved. Romantic love, is one of the most powerful energies on earth (ForumNetwork, 2009), it is indeed one on the most addictive substances we can experience at least once in our life. The rush of cocaine and the rush of being in love depend on the same chemicals in our brain (ForumNetwork, 2009); we are literally addicted to love. The feeling of being in love does not depend whether the other part loves you back or not, it will help you feel more happy that is for sure, but the intensity of the feeling loved or heartbroken is the same, they both depart from the same principle: the love and desire of the other. Love remains in the most basic system of our brain, under all cognitive process, under all motor impulses; it is placed in our reward system, the most ancient systems of all (ForumNetwork, 2009).
Online dating is not a recent phenomenon. Ever since the internet became widespread, it has improved and expanded the scope of human communication and this lead to the ability to selectively connect to people near and far for specific purposes. Online Dating, and it’s outlets, have become an arguably effective tool in finding viable partners for romantic relationships. The activity is so widespread that, in 2015 according to Rosette Pambakian, each day, there were at least 1.5 billion ratings on Tinder alone, which resulted in more than 22 million matches worldwide in the span of 24 hours (Loresco, 2015). Considering the nature
Cyber Relationship is the connection and involvement we have with our computers, or something that is of virtual reality. In our context, Cyber Relationship refers to the commitment and social connection we have with the people we meet through Cyber platforms like Social Media platforms. Some examples of Social Media platforms that encourage Cyber Relationships are Facebook and Twitter. Internet Addiction refers to “an individual’s inability to control their Internet use, which in turn leads to feelings of distress and functional impairment of daily activities.” (Douglas, 3)
In the twenty-first century, we use the internet for almost everything that we do. We use search engines such as Bing or Google to find information. Websites like Netflix and Hulu allow us to watch shows and movies without an expensive cable or satellite subscription. Social networks provide a new way to communicate with friends and family. Entire companies are run through the internet. With gas prices rising every day, it has also become increasingly popular to see a lot of jobs turn to telecommuting. It’s only natural that as other aspects of our lives conform to the internet, that online dating should also begin to be more prevalent in how we form new romantic relationships. Online dating is the new normal, and this is more evident now than ever.
Online dating has gained popularity since 1995. After its inception, the service has been increasingly been used by different people. Both the young and the old people use the service in order to find partners. Online dating can be defined as the use of dating services such as websites and other portals in order to get a short-term or a long-term partner for romantic purposes. There are some relationships which have been started through the online dating services and they have been sustained while others have not lasted. Online dating can be said to have both positive and negative impacts on the society. In history, people who have been using online dating for the purposes of finding love have faced numerous incidences