Women And The Paradox Of Sexual Freedom By Leslie Bell

Creating a Unique Sense of Identity Women’s sexual identity has evolved over hundreds of years and continues to change all the time. A woman’s sexual identity is built upon various factors and becomes very complicated when considering all of these variables. Often, these factors or forces continually influence women to think a certain way and causes much confusion for young women. In her passage, Selections from Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom, Leslie Bell discusses how young women struggle with their sexual lives. These women are constantly struggling with several external forces affecting their lives such as personal experience, family tradition and belief, economic status, and sources of

Most women fall in the categories of the Desiring Woman, the Relational Woman, or the Sexual Woman. Family traditions cause these identities to blend and become unique in every situation. The Sexual Woman is characterized by, “Women who had little conflict over sexual desire and a high degree of conflict over relational desire” (30). These women look to have a strong sense of identity and look to forge their path rather than have their life controlled by external forces. The Relational Woman is characterized by, “Women who had little conflict over relational desire but a high degree of conflict over sexual desire” (30). These women look for intimacy but struggle with their sex life. They want relationships but feel as though their strong desire for sex will not be satisfied. The Desiring Woman is characterized by women that, “used their conflicts to inform how they could pursue their desires; they were comfortable with and expressed their desires for sex and a relationship” (31). Bell uses a form of typology that is supposed to encompass all women in general, however this is clearly not the case. These different types of women blend and create new forms of individuality that make each person different in their own way. Family definitely plays a role in establishing one’s self as the Desiring Woman, the Sexual Woman, or the Relational Woman. When a child is about to reach

A woman’s sexual identity is heavily influenced by prior experiences as well as ones they will have in the future. These experiences whether they be bad or good will both affect a woman’s sexual identity and tendencies. Family will influence these experiences without a doubt but it is up to the individual as to whether or not they conform or reject their family’s way of life. Alicia was abused by her father at a very young age and this changed her idea of being sexually active and creating an identity early in life. Since she was abused she could not trust men until she was much older. She conformed to her family’s traditions of not dating and having sex until after college. Once she had some sexual encounters and experiences she rejected that notion of not dating anymore. After going through personal sexual experiences she was able to clearly identify herself and create her own individualized sexual identity. The development of an identity depends upon family interaction at an early age when a young woman’s life is lead down a certain path. These paths that their parents may lead them down could be tracks to the Relational Woman, the Sexual Woman, the Desiring Woman, or a blending of these types. A woman will follow along the paths their parents forge for them for a certain amount of time. Once they reach an age where they begin to make their own sexual decisions they may