When I Failed Driving Test

I am an open person. Ask me anything and I will tell you the truth. Except one time – when I failed the driving test on my sixteenth birthday, I felt like I had to keep it secret and concealed. I could not let anyone know I had failed something – especially, something as important and public as my driving test!
As I entered high school, I considered myself a perfectionist and had thought so ever since I could remember. I had never failed a test before, nor even come close. During my first year, my high-strung tendencies peaked and I was known for having a high-achieving personality. When it came time to drive, I put the same energy and personality into mastering driving as I did with everything else. I only missed two questions on

the written portion to get my learner’s permit, and soon became a careful and responsible driver. I never really worried about taking my driving test because I felt confident that I was a better driver than most people who already had their license.

However, on August 16th, my sixteenth birthday, I learned my confidence and reality were not in sync. After I finished my test with the examiner, we met my mom at the counter inside and reviewed my driving. She started by saying that I was a strong driver, but then told me I made a turn at a two-way stop sign where pedestrians were present. And, then she said the words I thought I would never hear – automatic failure! I was completely speechless. My mom thanked the examiner for her time, and we walked back to the car. The minute that both doors closed, tears rushed down my face and I completely fell apart; the rest of my special day of turning sixteen was completely ruined. Many of my close friends and family called and texted me to ask how I did on the test, but I simply ignored them. Throughout the following days, I came to realize that I was not upset that I did not get my license; I was devastated because everyone would know I had failed a test. I did not want people to know that I was not successful at something. I told my closest friends and family, but made them promise not to tell anyone else. When other peers asked me how I did on my driving

test I would avoid the question and move on to another topic. A few weeks later I retook my drivers test and passed without incident, yet my first attempt still haunted me. Weeks went by and I constantly thought about my initial driving test—analyzing every detail, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. The single mistake, that was fixed two weeks later, consumed my life.
But, then I learned it was okay to admit I failed. I learned that other classmates admited their failure and heard other people express empathy and then support for their next try. So, when the topic came up in a conversation, I started to admit I failed my first test. I still admit it. Failing my driving test and talking about it taught me that I could put all of my energy into being perfect but the truth was that failing and making mistakes is part of participating and competing in life. Just because I failed does not mean that people will view me differently. In fact, because I did fail, I was able to help explain to others what to do and what not to do on the driving test. I warned people that taking the driving test at the DMV was much more intimidating than I had expected and that the examiners at driving institutes were much friendlier. This incident helped me to grow from always being focused on what I thought others thought about me. Without my disastrous sixteenth birthday, I might still be striving to maintain an absolutely flawless self-image; thank goodness I am not.