The Main Theme Of Where Is It Written By Adam Schwartz

“Where is it Written” by Adam Schwartz, is a story about a 12 years old boy named Sam who has conflicts with his unstable mother, Sandra. Sam first tries to convince his father to sue Sandra for his custody. Then, after many conflicts between them, she appears at his bar mitzvah where she starts a fight. Finally, everything resumes in court. The father wins the case of the custody and Sam is sent to live with him. Coming of age is an important theme in which the character experiences a realization of an idea that before was unknown or ignored. It is evolution and maturation. Sam came of age very slowly and unevenly. Changing his perspective towards his mother. From repudiating her to sympathising with her.
To begin, this story

takes place in New Jersey. The author introduces the protagonist, Sam, who has problems with his mother. His solution is to persuade his father to sue his mother for his custody. Sam explains that she is driving him crazy, that he would like to have a normal life. He also introduces us to his mother, Sandra, who is, ironically, a mentally unstable psychologist with a reckless personality. Some of the minor characters that are mentioned towards the beginning of the story, include Sam’s father, a very respected Rabbi with a big influence in the community. Phyllis, his father’s wife. Sy, one of his mother’s affairs. And Mrs. Gutman, a patient of his mother who is her best friend at the same time. Sam mostly focused on describing Mrs Gutman, who represents the irresponsible and unprofessional side of Sandra. As Sam says “You’re her therapist. You're not supposed to be her best friend, too.” This demonstrates that Sandra was as chaotic at work as in life in general. We can also see that Sam doesn’t like Mrs. Gutman, she is annoying to him, which is another reason to be uncomfortable in the house. She was as unstable as Sandra.
The protagonist Sam is a character that can be characterized as very mature. He does all the household, tolerates his mother’s actions and takes care of her as if hi was her parent. In the story, Sam says, “I had typed out three pages of instructions before I left but the calls kept coming” (Schwartz, pg. 83.) This quote basically shows that Sam behaved in a very responsible way. Because even though he was trying to escape from his mother he would make a manual in how to use the washing machine. This quote also demonstrates that Sandra was very dependent of him, as Sam was the responsible of doing all the household and taking care of her. Another adjective that describes Sam is empathetic. When Sandra’s father was hurting her feelings, Sam notes, “I wanted to do something. Unclasp the towel from around her neck, give her back her mouth, and tell her, run.” (pg. 93) Basically, this quote is showing that Sam is compassionate for her. He was being indirectly hurt because of the emotional pain of Sandra. He wanted to save her from those piercing words. This is important because it shows Sam’s empathy towards Sandra. For the first time in the story he was on Sandra’s side. He was not complaining about her but understanding her pain. Furthermore, it is relevant for the coming of age of Sam, as it is illuminating to see the beginning of the change in Sam’s feelings .
Sam’s mother Sandra is another major character in the story. A word that best describes her is unstable. The reason for this is the frequent and rapid changes in her behavior. In the story, Sandra says, “You little bastard! Don’t bother coming home. If I never see you again I’ll die happy.” This quote illustrates Sandra’s unstability. She calls Sam several times, which shows that she actually needs him. This contrasts with what she says in reality, she is rejecting him in an impulse of uncontrollable rage, saying she doesn’t want to see him again. This quote also shows that Sandra was frustrated. She didn’t wanted to be abandoned and blames Sam for leaving her, instead of blaming herself for repelling him. Sandra can also be described as sensitive. In the story, she cries or gets hysterical very frequently. Usually calling Sam out of school, as he says “I’d been called out of class about once a month because of an ‘emergency’ at home. Usually my mother had fought with a patient, or a married man she was seeing had stopped answering her calls, or her father had sent her another sanctimonious letter, or some judge had treated her in a cavalier way” This shows that she was sensitive, dependent of Sam, and childish. Another section of the story that shows this is when her father offends her. She starts crying and we can see that she is genuinely hurt by those words. This is significant because it gives depth of the character, it shows the spectrum of emotions that compose her, and shows makes the reader feel compassion towards her. She isn’t the hateful person we think she is at the beginning of the story, she is also very delicate. To me, Sandra has the personality of a teenager. She is immature and impulsive. She is also very controller, therefore she sues everyone and does whatever she wants. The fact of being a psychologist enhances through irony her unstable and disordered life.
Sam’s relationship with his mother in the beginning of the story can best described as averse. The reason for this is the constant arguments they have. Sam attempts to get away from his mother shows that the relationship is stressful and atypical. Later in the story, Sam discusses living with his mother in her apartment and he says, “Mom, I just don’t want to live here anymore. That’s all” (pg. 87) In this quote, we can see that the relationship between Sam and his mother is tormentous, and that Sam is so suffocated of her that he need to scape.
Also, in this quote, we can also see that Sam was trying not to hurt Sandra. His tone is always condescendent. He tries to speak in the least harmful way, as he could as well be crudely sincere and tell her why he is actually wanting to leave. This is important because it shows that Sam and his mother are in a conflictive relationship where he tries to be sutil and mature and she is loud, impulsive and aggressive. I think the relationship between Sam and his mother shows that the relationship between parent and child can be very atypical. In this relationship the roles are interchanged. Sam is the one who behaves as a parent, he does the household, takes care of her, and tries to avoid discussions. On the other hand, she is like a rebel teenager. She doesn’t like rules and instructions. She is extremely irresponsible, as she is capable of leaving his son by himself, or calling him out of class for no reason, or only works if she feels like it. There is a parental figure in the relationship, but it’s the children who represents it.
Despite Sam describing Sandra as reckless, his feelings toward her begin to change in the middle of the story. Sam’s mother is described as a sympathetic character when she goes to Florida. In Florida, Sam’s grandfather treats Sandra in a rough way. He expresses his embarrassment for having a daughter who is divorced and smokes. This is important because the reader is supposed to feel sympathetic towards her because the reader can see the sensitive side of her. The reader can see that she is very hurt and that she isn’t wrong by being herself, but his father is wrong by telling her how to be. Another scene in which Sandra is depicted in a sympathetic way is when Sam’s father finally sues her, we can see that she is still aggressive but in reality she feels frustration because she doesn’t want Sam to leave. Again, the reader is supposed to feel sympathetic towards Sandra when she starts begging Sam to stay, saying that she would change and that she would become a good mother. Finally, Sam appears to have mixed feelings towards Sandra when he was a the psychologist office and he realises that he wouldn’t say anything against or favoring her. These different moments in which Sandra is described as a sympathetic character are important in Sam’s coming of age because they are slowly making him change his mind towards her. During the visit to his grandfather, for instance, he becomes more emotionally linked with her, Those moments of sympathy were accumulating, and finally they provoke the coming of age.
The events of that occur in Sam’s Bar Mitzvah are significant in Sam’s eventual coming of age. At the bar mitzvah, Sandra was especially possessive over Sam. Then Phyllis wants Sam to come a moment and take a picture with the family. This triggers Sandra to attack Phyllis and start a fight. Sam runs away of the conflict. Sandra goes after him and meets him at the beach. Where he was standing alone and sullen. Sam talks to his mother at the beach and he explains that “I was only thirteen that day, but I knew my mother would never change. She would never have a beautiful office like Florence Fein’s. She would never have more than three or four patients, people like Mrs. Gutman, who were as chaotic and pained as she was. I knew she would always feel like a stranger on the planet” This quote demonstrates that Sam is beginning to realize that the change he was expecting wouldn’t come. That Sandra would always be that way.
Sam comes of age at the very end of the story.

Sam says, “Perhaps I could have said something kind about my mother, but I was only thirteen, and I didn't know that love can be as obdurate as the changes you long for. Perhaps I could have told him that after I turned around and saw her bruised face, I lifted my mother to her feet. I pressed my tallis against her bloody nose. Then I rolled it up into a tight little ball, and we trekked back up the beach together” (pg. 99) Basically, Sam came of age because he regrets his action of trying to escape. He realizes that his love for his mother was greater than he thought. This is a significant change because Sam earlier in the story said that Sandra was driving him crazy, and convinced his father to sue her for his custody. He really wanted to escape from her. But at the end we can see that he changes his mind. He knew that his mother wouldn’t change but he loved her anyways. In the end, Sam is sent to live with his father. The fight at the bar mitzvah made Sandra’s case even harder to win. This story illustrates the importance of humility. Which I believe would have saved the relationship. Sandra’s ego and pride were the reason why she didn’t tell him how much she loved him, the reason why she was jealous of Sam’s father, or the reason of the fight at the bar mitzvah. The same with Sam. As he says, he could have said something nice about his mother to the judge, or the psychologist. Or more importantly, he could have said to Sandra how much he loved

her.

Work Cited Page
Schwartz, Adam. “Where is it Written?”
, edited by Mary Frosch
New Press, 1994.