Communications Between Parents and Children

Healthy family relationships depend on healthy communications. “Good communication helps keep a family running smoothly and prevents misunderstandings from escalating into conflict or from being buried unresolved.” (Feiden, 68) There are many ways and times to practice and teach good communication to children. There are many times that without good communication, the parent-child relationship suffers and sometimes ends abruptly.

Allen Schwartz, PH.D., states that he knows of “many cases where children are raised in an atmosphere of dark secrecy about both the matriarchal and patriarchal parts of their families. They grow up with a sense that something must be wrong but fear discussing this with their parents.” (5) Most people have grown up with family secrets, but some secrets can destroy a family. The act of hiding the secret(s) provides an excuse to limit self-disclosure, and reacts negatively on one’s self-esteem. When these become extremely limited or negative, there is an increased chance of a separation and possible ending of the relationship. The end of the relationship could mean that parent and child no longer talk, or they are forcibly separated for their own health in extreme cases. Unfortunately, “emotional health can be passed down from generation to generation just as easily as abuse and dysfunction,” (Bloch, 7) making such dysfunctions of communications a continuous process.

Sturges writes “children will learn how to communicate with the world based in large part on how they have learned to communicate with their parents.” (31) Children often learn their communication behaviors not only from what we say but also from our actions. For example, If you tell your child that they can talk to you about anything, but y...

... middle of paper ...

... their minds. It is important for the parent to respect their wishes and let them know that they will be available when the child is ready to talk and that you won’t be judgmental. Let the child tell the whole story before interceding with your thoughts. There are also instances where the child won’t want your opinion; they just want you to listen to their problems. This can be tricky to know whether the child wants your opinion or your ears but if you are actively listening to your child, you will know what it is that they are wanting.

Remember, good communication is the heart of everything you do in life. Without good communication skills, things won’t get done properly and could cause hurt relationships. Learning these communication skills begins at home from the day that the child is born and should be continued into adulthood and for the rest of their lives.