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The impact of beauty standards
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The impact of beauty standards
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Being judged by women
As I watch another fat, ugly guy walk by with a beautiful woman, I can't help but think about the fact that women are constantly judged by their appearance and - even though men seem to think they are judged all the time by appearance - they have MUCH more wiggle room in the appearance department.
I know that to be true. You know that to be true. You only have to look out your window and see how many conventionally unattractive guys get conventionally attract women.
Women are judged so much on their appearance that most of them develop horrible body image issues that stick with them for life. For instance, they think they are fat, even when they are not, and then they spend all their time dieting, working out, and obsessing
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about themselves, while their men get fatter and unhealthier. Case in point: My sister-in-law has spent the past few years trying to look perfect for her husband. She has had three of his kids, obsessed about her weight, gained a ton, lost a ton, and has become ridiculous with food to the point that she obsessed over eating one piece of cake at her kid's birthday party. He's a fat piece of shit and he's never changed. And, after all that obsession about being attractive for him, she just found out he's been cheating on her with his ex. I'm not saying that guys are NOT judged by their appearance - I'm just saying that guys have it a lot easier in the looks department than woman do. But, You ARE Being Judged In Many Other Ways Even though guys can be uglier and fatter than women, they are still judged by a lot of different things. That's where the scale tips back and influences how women really view them. As Phil says, "Women judge by appearances - eg if you have an old car means they will drive away." THAT is very true.
The first impression you make, as well as the second, third, and even fourth impression, can have a lot of weight on whether or not a woman will want you.
Think Of It Like An Attraction Point System
Women will judge on your car, clothes, haircut, body art, wallet, the way you talk, and even how you carry yourself. All of these things equate to one point up or one point down in her attraction scale, and if you get enough points down - she IS going to drive away.
For instance, I once met a guy who was dressed like a complete nerd, had a horrible haircut, and wore some pretty crazy jewelry. Instantly he had more points off than points added to my attraction scale, and I moved on to find another guy that I was actually attracted to. Funny thing was, the next time I saw him he was dressed well, had a sexy haircut, and lost the ridiculous jewelry. He earned back the points he lost and even gained some points because I took a deeper look into who he was.
In other words, you can lose points in attraction, but with some small changes you can gain them back (and then some).
Should You Really Worry About Being
Judged? Yes and no. Yes if you are looking for a woman and want to make the best possible impression with as many women as possible. The truth is that the better you dress, the sexier your haircut, the nicer your car, the more confident, kind, and compassionate you are, the more likely you are to attract a wide variety of women. No if you are just looking for a woman who accepts you as you are. The caveat with this tactic is that you may not run into any women like this. Those perfect women may always be on the other side of the street, and you may never cross paths with them. I have had a lot of guys tell me that they don't need to change in order to attract a woman. I have made my opinion clear - in most cases, I disagree. Just remember that you are being judged by women - just as you are judging women. And, the more they dislike what they see, the less likely you will be able to win them over. It's the truth. How To Overcome The Fear Of Being Judged This video has some good tips on how to look at judgment. Even though it is geared towards career, it can be applied to being a single guy looking for a woman. One of the best tips in the video is that if you are not confident with who you are and what you are doing, then you shouldn't be doing what you are doing. In other words, if you are not confident with yourself, then that is a sign that you are not being the best you can be and that some things NEED to be changed! Once you get clear on who you are and where you are going, you will worry less about what people think and - as a bonus - you will be more attractive to women. Do The Best You Can And Don't Worry About Being Judged Sometimes guys think they are being judged when they are really not. (Women too.) I think many times we think that people actually care more about us than they really do. The thing is that all you can do is be the best you, and let go of people who are not happy with who you are. If women are judging you because you are different than them, then that's their problem not yours. For instance, if a woman judges you negatively on your religion, values, job, or lifestyle, then don't take that personally. Everyone has different beliefs about what they think is right in this world, and if you are being the best you can be and sticking to a moral code that you think is worth sticking to, then any woman who judges you isn't likely to be a good fit for you anyway. In the end, you are being judged by women. It's not going to stop just because you want it to. You have to deal with it in one way or another.
From personal experience from past employment, I have worked for a man who by appearances was not someone I would gravitate to. It turned out he
on a scale from 1 to 3, the importance men gave to good looks rose from 1.50 to 2.11. But for women, the importance of good looks in men rose from 0.94 to 1.67. In other words, women in 1989 considered a man look’s more important than men considered women’s looks 50 years earlier
Our society is entirely based on looks and how “the perfect women should be”. To be pretty you are expected to have the perfect body with the perfect face and hair. You could never cut your hair short because you would be considered a dyke. If you’re makeup isn’t perfect you are considered ugly and if you don’t have the “hourglass figure” you are considered fat and overweight. “Despite higher global self-esteem, women do not feel good about their appearance. This disconnect can be attributed, at least in part, to concerns about body image.” (@PsychToday, paragraph 4) Our society and social media is so caught up on how every woman should look that our own judgment has been clouded and we always believe we need to look and act that way. “The truth is that women’s insecurity about their appearance is driven by competition with other women.”(@PsychToday, paragraph 16) All we do nowadays is compare ourselves to others and that’s not how it should be. You are considered to be a “whore” such as Eve if you sleep around, so women are afraid to do it. You are considered to be “weak” if you stay at home and can’t support yourself, such as Lori. Our world is so caught up in people thinking that they need to be a certain way in order to impress themselves and others. Why do women shave their legs? Why do woman dye their hair? Why do woman get spray tans? Everything we do has to do with our appearance in order to impress
We will be focusing more on what one can see in a person rather than what they cannot to show that opposite attraction is false. For instance, appearance is a major factor that can been seen by anyone without even talking to them. However, there are also other factors that one can see in another
There are many types of men in the world, and each type displays a variety of distinguishable characteristics. Women should become aware of these characteristics before considering a prospective mate. The smallest of personal details, from where and how they met (including the first date), the way he walks and talks, the clothes he wears, the career choice he's made, the vacation spots he frequents, or the automobile he drives can offer valuable, meaningful, insightful clues to whether or not a man will ever settle down with anyone. There are two main types of men in the world: the committer and the non-committer.
The first impression you have when meeting someone is their appearance, which makes it easy to judge people based on how they
“Personality-wise, I am afraid but if by chance that would not do the same thing, just do nothing, just shove it off and just keep it inside.” (Christian Tan)
First impressions are created by a composite of signals given off by a new experience (Flora, 2004). The judgment of these impressions depends on the observer and the person being observed (Flora, 2004). When you meet someone for the first time it takes about three seconds to be evaluated by the observer (Mind Tools, 1996-2011,). During this time the person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, and how you dress (Mind Tools, 2996-2011,). Impressions are important to us because they are impossible to be reserved and the set the tone for all the relationships that follow (Mind Tools, 1996-2011).
Having a lack of self acceptance can cause men and women to spend a meaningless amount of time loathing on their imperfections, which can also degrade their self-perception on their bodies. Women who have a hard time looking at themselves in the mirror are in a constant battle with their inner demons, telling themselves that they are not beautiful enough. For example, in the article, "Out-of-Body Image" by Caroline Heldman, she says how, "[Women] are more likely to engage in "habitual body monitoring"-constantly thinking about how their bodies appear to the outside world . . ." (65). Women can spend a futile amount of time feeding negative comments to themselves about their appearance, which can heighten their chances of becoming bulimic and anorexic. Once women start to over-analyze their bodies, it can become difficult to reverse their mindset to generate positive feedback about themselves. Likewise, when men lose their confidence in their self-image, their self-perception can get misconstrued and suddenly they can only recognize their flaws. For example, in the article, "How Men Really Feel About Their Bodies," the author mentions how in general, men are in a constant competition against other males to improve their bodies so that they can survive in the male society ( Spiker, 73). Men are always under intense scrutiny regarding their bodies because they are engendered to be physically strong and built, and that is where the stigma begins in the male society. In order to sustain in the male domination, men are constantly trying to rebuild their bodies to match perfection. When men see others that are more built, their self-perception slowly starts to degrade their confidence, and that is when they have the difficulty of accepting themselves. As a result, men and women who lack self acceptance start to obsess over their
People may think that men should be cool and handsome and should look and be a certain why like having a lot of muscles. McClure Stewart is the managing of editor of Women’s Quarterly Journal and Kate Kennedy is the campus project more important, our inner Women’s Forum, stated, “Again, this one features a corpulent guy’s guy lounging on his sofa in his dirty undershirt, which barely covers his beer gut” (1).Why is it that males are always stereotyped as the ones that cannot take care of themselves. Females are not the only ones that care about body image. So do males because like women they too try to attract the opposite sex. Many males find this offensive because it’s like we are not all slobs and they all would not want to be categorized like that too. At the same time, females worry about body image more because of the many advertisements that make women just look like sex objects. Katherine Toland Frith an associate professor at the School of Communication and Information at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore and Barbara Muller coordinator of the Media Studies Program at San Diego State University stated that Gentry found that female college students who were repeatedly exposed to thin models in ads feel increased guilt, shame, insecurity, and body dissatisfaction (5). Women tend to be more sensitive than a male which is already a good reason that females have it worse than males. Not to
How does this apply in today’s culture? When a woman is outwardly beautiful, she attracts a lot of suitors, many who only care about her appearance. They love her looks and do not care about her heart. Is this her fault? Absolutely not! She may be a beautiful godly woman, but the people she attracts will not always love her the right way. However, if a woman is plain in appearance (or even ugly), she will naturally attract less shallow suitors. These men are MUCH more likely to fall in love with her inward beauty, rather than her outward appearance. All of the conceited men instead follow after more attractive women, blinded by the lust of their
... such as personality, kindness, generosity and emotional stability are not just afterthoughts in the quest for a mate, but they may need to fight for their place, next to the enormous power that physical beauty and symmetry may have on our choice of a mate.
This was the study Elaine Hatfield did at the University of Minnesota. For this study, she used 752 incoming freshman and had them meet at a welcome dance. Beforehand, her and her co-workers gave them aptitude and personality tests but assigned them together at random. After the couples talked for two and a half hours, the only factor that contributed to them liking each other was the physical attractiveness of their partner. The result was that "Self-esteem, intelligence, and personality did not affect liking for the dates or subsequent attempts to date them."(Hatfield) This research shows the power that physical attractiveness has on who we are attracted to and who our potential partners
As much as women want to believe that the profile of the man they are looking at is true, unfortunatel...
Men and woman have the same conflict when it comes to body image. For example a woman can see a beautiful model on a cover of a magazine, while skimming through that magazine she only finds beautiful flawless women. She might ask herself why she doesn’t look like that, where a certain obsession may develop. Same goes for men. Media has made it more than aware that beauty is characterized by perfection. “These interactions help define the self (Oxford, p. 653). Media 's Idea of Self Today 's media focuses on body image, especially a woman 's outward appearance and the size of her waist. The media typically uses models, actresses, and singers, such as Victoria Beckham to relay these values.” Jenna West, stated that the emphasize now is based on the simple appearance, which in most cases people love to see below average female waists, the smaller she is the more beautiful she looks. Symbolic Interaction plays a huge role in society, if we see someone that we do not look like we immediately start comparing each other and become self-conscious of the way you look now. Where in fact, body modifications start to happen. The biggest portion of the symbolic interaction with body image is the Looking Glass Self. Meaning that people will always have an idea of adjustments only because of how the rest of the world in portrayed. In all, it is based on