Attraction: Friendship, Love, And Relationships

Concept Paper #3 Attraction

1. Definition and Description of Concept

Throughout this section there have been very ambiguous and complicated definitions of attraction. If you look for the definition of attraction in the textbook, it refers you to friendship, love, and relationship. The definition of attraction according to google is "The action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something." The reasoning behind attraction is that we as humans are social beings that long for closeness and companionship. For the purpose of this essay, the initial attraction between individuals will be expounded as well as what helps maintain the attraction.

There are many factors that contribute to attraction. Some examples of these are proximity, physical attractiveness, similarity, and mutual liking. Often, many of these work cohesively and simultaneously to cause and retain attraction.

First, proximity plays a critical role in attraction. The geographic location of two people is a strong indicator of whether they will attract. The likelihood and frequency of crossing paths with someone and striking up a conversation are drastically higher when

you are living, working, or going to school in he same area. This frequency of interaction is called the functional distance, which is another strong indicator of attraction. Another subtopic of proximity is mere exposure. In the text it states that "Mere exposure breeds pleasant feelings."(Myers 388) This is caused by seeing a specific person repeatedly and building familiarity. The negative side to this is unfamiliarity which can cause prejudices against people who are somehow different.
Secondly, physical attractiveness is a convoluted yet important contributor to attraction. Especially when considering first impressions, physical attractiveness can build or destroy attraction between people. From getting a job to dating, physical attractiveness can determine our options. The textbook states "People tend to select as friends, and especially to marry, those who are a "good match" not only to their level of intelligence but also to their level of attractiveness."(Myers 391) In addition, "...we assume that beautiful people posses certain desirable traits."(Myers 393) This is known as the physical-attractiveness stereotype Although there are some universal indications of beauty such as youth, beauty is very subjective. Thankfully, the more you love someone, the more physically attractive they seem to you.
Thirdly, similarity proves to be a strong indicator of lasting attraction. There has always been the idea that opposites attract, however the opposite has been proven. The text reads "...they found that the more similar someones attitudes are to your own, the more likable you will find the person."(Myers 399) Also, it doesn't have to be actual similarity, perceived similarity is just as effective.
Lastly, we like people who like us back. This explains why people fall for rebounds after a serious relationship. After a rejection, we attract to people who accept us and like us back. This builds our self esteem and helps us appreciate our partner.
2. Research Developing and Supporting the Concept
I found a study in the book that supports physical attractiveness as a strong aspect of initial attraction.

This was the study Elaine Hatfield did at the University of Minnesota. For this study, she used 752 incoming freshman and had them meet at a welcome dance. Beforehand, her and her co-workers gave them aptitude and personality tests but assigned them together at random. After the couples talked for two and a half hours, the only factor that contributed to them liking each other was the physical attractiveness of their partner. The result was that "Self-esteem, intelligence, and personality did not affect liking for the dates or subsequent attempts to date them."(Hatfield) This research shows the power that physical attractiveness has on who we are attracted to and who our potential partners

are.
3. Relate the Concept to Your Own Experience
I have experienced the power that attraction has many times. In my own personal experience, the effect of similarity has been a lot stronger than physical attractiveness. For example, I saw this man whom I thought was physically attractive in a coffee shop that I frequent. This shows the impact of proximity and functional distance. We made eye contact and he actually came over to my table because he knew my friend. After saying hi to my friend, the first words out of his mouth were something about how he loves rap music and that he got extremely drunk at a party a few nights before. Instantly my attraction for him was over since I strongly dislike rap music and I'm not interested. It was a very quick transition, but it shows that attraction is complicated.