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Social emotional intellectual development
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Recommended: Social emotional intellectual development
Why do we as men have to be big, tough, strong, “masculine”? Why do we have to act a certain way to fit in? Why is it that if we are different we become isolated and shunned from society just for being who we are? What is true masculinity? Young males are forced to act like the typical stereotype of what a man is supposed to be. They are told to not cry, to not show emotions, to not be a sissy but they are never told how to be themselves. Fear of being alone makes most males attached to their alternate masculine selves and never allow them to find their true selves.
As a young child I was afraid to cry when I would get hurt because I didn't want to be called “girly” or a “wussy”. Every guy goes through this in elementary school, middle school,
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When a girl acts like a guy they are just a tomboy they just laugh it off and think its cute. But as soon as a boy acts like a “girl” they are called names, made fun of , bullied, and even shunned. In Judith Butler’s video “Phylosophe” she mentions a boy who was killed for having a feminine walk. He was killed for being himself. Tannen also supports this claim when she says “There are many kinds of evidence that women and men are judged differently…¨. Why is it that we as men can’t show a ounce of emotion? For example, someone who is different or acts different get treated differently and casted away. In Ashanti Young’s prelude “The Barbershop” he mentions a man by the name of Eric. Eric is ignored, shunned, and hated by everyone in the barber shop just because he is “gay”.Thousands of kids have to go through this struggle on a daily basis. No guy shows his true emotions because he was taught that if he shows emotion he is weak. Fear of being judged keeps the fake mask on every man. Some people are not afraid and a lot of them actually call themselves gay or bi-sexually. Fear is the biggest factor in boys over masculine behavior because they want to make friends with the cool, tough kids. Even though the “cool, tough” kids are trying just as hard to be friends with them. Once those kids become popular they embody their false selves and get comfortable with it for a short period of time before all their …show more content…
As a child we just thin this way and it really is not pushed onto us. We just idolize the people who are the epitome of a “man”. Men are known to overthink on everything as child we don't realise we over think but we do. We put the pressure on ourselves when we are young. Nowadays society is allot more forgiving and accepting of people who are different. Its is actually “cool” to be different in today's society. Not so much pressure is on the youth since that the older generations has carried those problems and through them partially away. There is still lots of progress to be made in order to have better
The topics that Joe Ehrmann uses as framework for his Building Men for Others program are quite intriguing and make you really question masculinity. The first topic, rejecting false masculinity, can be interpreted a few different ways. In the book, it states: “As young boys, we’re told to be men, or to act like men” soon followed with “we’ve got all these parents say ‘be a man’ to boys that have no concept of what that means. I completely agree with the statement of Joe Ehrmann and often question the definition of ‘being a man’. Many boys and men will reject the idea of a man being anything other than being big and strong or having power.
This means that their feelings and emotions are suppressed, and deep relationships are not created. Jensen states, “But we live our lives in that system, and it deforms men, narrowing our emotional range and depth. It keeps us from the rich connections with others…that make life meaningful but require vulnerability” (132). This declaration implies that men who comply with masculinity sacrifice the ability to cry, show sensitivity, and express emotion because those are actions that women, who are fragile, take part in. Throughout the text, Jensen makes a point to compare males to females because he is representing how society does not want their characteristics to overlap. Therefore, men hold back from showing emotions because being compared to a woman will damage their image in society. The actuality of men holding back emotions is unfortunate because men are holding back their innate self. Jensen makes a valid point that expressing feelings and emotions is part of being human, and when men do not allow themselves to be human they lose their
As these images become more visible, men are more likely to feel comfortable about the idea of men revealing their emotions. While there is not an equal number of men secure with expressing their emotions as women, there is a much higher instance than in previous
William Pollack, in his article “Inside the World of Boys: Behind the Mask of Masculinity”, discusses on how boy tries to hide behind the mask and the stereotypical of masculinity. He demonstrates how boy hide their deepest though and feelings and real self. Pollack open the essay with “a fourteen-year-old boy, he is doing badly in school and he might fail algebra, but when teacher or his parent ask about it, he said everything is just fine. He hide his true identity behind the mask, and let no one see his true self.” After read the story, I think the story is really useful source to write an essay about how boy become men and they are emotionless.
An article entitled “How Boys Become Men,” written by Jon Katz was originally published in January, 1993 in Glamour, a magazine for young women. In this article the author claims that the men are insensitive because they have had to learn to hide their feelings during the stage of growing up with other boys. The author defines his claim by analyzing the process of boys growing into a man with the focus on the lesson boys learn that effect their adult lives. The author describes these lessons with the code of conduct imposed upon boys, for example “never admitting fear”. He explains these codes with several instances and by including his own example to convey to the reader the challenges of growing into a man. Through the various stories of young boys, he intends to explain why men seem so insensitive to help women understand why men sometimes seem “remote” or “uncommunicative”.
In an excerpt from his book, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, which was first published in 2008, sociologist Michael Kimmel shows us how the teaching of masculinity in America begins to form at a very young age and goes far into adulthood. He focuses on how boys are molded from a young age to be men, by forms of harassment, teasing, and peer pressure from parents, relatives, friends, teachers, and society. In this specific essay, Kimmel explains the pressures young boys experience and the expectations as they grow into manhood. Kimmel vividly describes men who are pressured by their own peers to prove their masculinity. Furthermore, there is a relentless sense of having to show ones ' 'manly ' ' behavior. Masculinity is expected, and needs to be shown in-front of others at all times. For most men, being able to do
As young men grow up, they would generally learn and integrate within a box of codes which shows them how to be a man, known as the Guy Code. The Guy Code is a set of rules prevalently applied among men groups about how a man behaves with other men and his girlfriend. It mainly teaches guys to be dominant, aggressive and fearless. In Michael Kimmel’s “ Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he indicates that men disguise their emotions and inner beings to be like a man, particularly among their peers. It imposes a consciousness that timidity is not a characteristic that men should have.
When look at the video “Tough Guise” I see Katz central argument being that the definition of manhood being communicated to our young boys and men is the problem within our society. Katz brings up the issue of men being taught not to express emotion or show vulnerability. Our society has taken the compassion and feeling out of our men; men must live up to the standard of being cold and emotionless otherwise they will be assumed to be gay and ridiculed for
Boys think that they must put on a persona that they are tough and no one can hurt them. I agree with the author that the boys are forced to hide their emotions and fears that’s why men become insensitive. Because the most important factor of how boys become tough men is how adults treat and teach them differently from girls. The boys start hearing messages that they need to be strong and tough from adults since they are just babies. I think this is the main problem that causes men to be insensitive and emotionalist. However, it is their parents, society, and everyone around them who affect the boys to become the men that they should be. If people treat boys same as how they treat the girls, I guess men will act the same way as
A prominent example of such a case is when Candy’s dog is killed yet his emotionless facade prevents the other men from seeing what he’s feeling. The men anxiously await for his reaction but are surprised when “...he rolled slowly over and faced the wall and lay silent,” (Steinbeck 49). While it is true that Candy knows about everyone on the ranch, he isn’t particularly close to anyone. Instead of showing sorrow, or expressing his grief at the loss of his only companion, Candy shields himself from the others. His loneliness is now more evident after losing the only thing that he was truly close to. Similarly, when George had to kill Lennie, he didn’t display any somber emotions, instead he becomes stoic and quiet. After he shoots his lifelong friend, the men come rushing only to promptly interrogate George, he in turn answered though his “...voice was almost a whisper,” (Steinbeck 107). Because George isn’t close to any of the men surrounding him, he isn’t comfortable with showing his feelings and therefore reverts into a quiet man. Losing the one true friend he’s ever had has only served to remind George how alone in he is in the world, having no one to rely on but
They do this by proving they are not weak or feminine. In fact, according to Michael Kimmel in “Men, Masculinity, and the Rape Culture”, the worst thing one can call a man is a word that is feminist based. This is why it is so important to men that they show domination and strength. But what is unknown is that biologically, men and women are very similar. In The Mask You Live In, Neuroscientist Lisa Eliot describes, “Throughout history there’s been this belief that men and women are fundamentally different creatures… Sex is a biological term. It refers to which chromosomes you have… Gender is a social construct.” Men are so afraid to be feminine yet there is little difference biologically between men and women. Masculinity and femininity are socially defined. Therefore, men and women should be able to act the same without being judged. Moreover, men do not show their true selves because of the risk of other men judging them. Dr. Caroline Heldman explains in the documentary that, “There’s a whole social system the polices them through this low level threat from other men if they’re not manly enough.” Similarly, as Michael Kimmel writes in “Men, Masculinity, and the Rape Culture”, men in groups are the most dangerous because they feel they need to prove themselves to each other. Rather than constantly proving their manliness, men need to be themselves in order to attain
When someone is thinking of a man, what do they think? Strong? Brave? That’s what most people think; in reality that is a very false image. In “Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code,” Michael Kimmel, talks about what it means to be a man and what it takes to be a man in today’s world. Men are pressured into what they “should” be. If they don’t follow certain unwritten rules, which include: not asking for directions, not giving up, not showing fear, or any signs of emotional weakness, such as tears; they are considered less than a man, a wimp. A real man must be aggressive and brave, he must defend his territory: status, family, possessions. Men blindly follow the Guy Code, they believe in order to fit in, they must comply and be part of the pack.
If a man possesses the masculinity that society claims he should have, he may still experience many emotional issues within himself. After a man has been taught that domination is the key, they may develop a sense of aggression. Aggression may also follow the fact they men hold all of their feelings into to protect themselves from the schemas. Men have been seen to use violence in their past to solve their issues. In the documentary, one of the prisoners in the group session spoke about how he was in jail because all of his emotions that had been bottled up become uncontrollable in one instance. If a boy or a man does not contain the masculinity expected, he may become bullied and out-casted. The continuation of discrimination toward a boy may cause suicidal thoughts. On top of being bullied for not being a powerful man, he may still be trying to hold in his emotions to prove that he
Society places ideas concerning proper behaviors regarding gender roles. Over the years, I noticed that society's rules and expectations for men and women are very different. Men have standards and specific career goals that we must live up to according to how others judge.
As a child develops, their surroundings have a major influence on the rest of their lives; if boys are taught to “man up” or never to do something “like a girl”, they will become men in constant fear of not being masculine enough. Through elementary and middle school ages, boys are taught that a tough, violent, strong, in-control man is the ideal in society and they beat themselves up until they reach that ideal. They have to fit into the “man box” (Men and Masculinity) and if they do not fulfill the expectations, they could experience physical and verbal bullying from others. Not only are friends and family influencing the definition of masculine, but marketing and toys stretch the difference between a “boy’s toy” and a “girl’s toy”. Even as early as 2 years old, children learn to play and prefer their gender’s toys over the other gender’s (Putnam). When children grow up hearing gender stereotypes from everyone around them, especially those they love and trust like their parents, they begin to submit themselves and experience a loss of individuality trying to become society’s ideal. If everyone is becoming the same ideal, no one has a sense of self or uniqueness anymore and the culture suffers from