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In an excerpt from his book, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, which was first published in 2008, sociologist Michael Kimmel shows us how the teaching of masculinity in America begins to form at a very young age and goes far into adulthood. He focuses on how boys are molded from a young age to be men, by forms of harassment, teasing, and peer pressure from parents, relatives, friends, teachers, and society. In this specific essay, Kimmel explains the pressures young boys experience and the expectations as they grow into manhood. Kimmel vividly describes men who are pressured by their own peers to prove their masculinity. Furthermore, there is a relentless sense of having to show ones ' 'manly ' ' behavior. Masculinity is expected, and needs to be shown in-front of others at all times. For most men, being able to do …show more content…
Kimmel demonstrates to his audience in "Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code" that young men must live and abide by a set of rules known as the "guy code" that has been instilled into them by their family members, peers, and friends from a very young …show more content…
Unfortunately it seems to be a subject that doesn’t get much attention. It is almost as if it is swept under the rug in our society. The idea of gender as we think of it, is solely a social construct, born into existence by the pressure of tradition and the supremacy of the majority. This is true for our perceptions of "masculinity" and "femininity", and this point is driven home in "Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code." Michael Kimmel points out the stereotypes men are taught to believe make them more manly. According to his interviews with various men from all over the country, the male social facade was put upon them by fathers, grandfathers, coaches, older brothers and other significant male role models as young
The topics that Joe Ehrmann uses as framework for his Building Men for Others program are quite intriguing and make you really question masculinity. The first topic, rejecting false masculinity, can be interpreted a few different ways. In the book, it states: “As young boys, we’re told to be men, or to act like men” soon followed with “we’ve got all these parents say ‘be a man’ to boys that have no concept of what that means. I completely agree with the statement of Joe Ehrmann and often question the definition of ‘being a man’. Many boys and men will reject the idea of a man being anything other than being big and strong or having power.
In Kimmel’s essay “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” he argues that the influence of society on masculinity is equal to or greater than biological influences on masculinity. In the essay, Kimmel uses various surveys and interviews to validate his argument. He points to peers, coaches, and family members as the people most likely to influence the development of a man’s masculinity. When a man has his manliness questioned, he immediately makes the decision never to say or do whatever caused him to be called a wimp, or unmanly. Kimmel’s argument is somewhat effective because the readers get firsthand accounts from the interviewees but the author does not provide any statistics to support his argument.
In the essay, “The High Cost of Manliness,” writer Robert Jensen discusses the harmful effects of having male specific characteristics, such as masculinity. Jensen realizes that men’s actions and ways of living are judged based upon the characteristic of being manly. He argues that there is no valid reason to have characteristics associated with being male. Society has created the notion that masculinity is the characteristic that defines males as males.
Boys have to hide their true selves and feelings to fit in, but in society expect men to be both tough and gentle, and be able to express their feeling, try to not hide behind the mask. Regardless, masculinity is an unrealistic expectation of men. Who cares what others think as long as they be their true self. It is apparent through my though that this essay is a good source to research or write an essay and can be teach. This essay helps parents learn more about their children feeling and grow into manhood to become real men.
Masculinity and femininity are not restricted to two separate and distinct groups. In reality, they are different within themselves, and similar to each other. It is a well-known stereotype that men are tough and strong with no emotions, while women are weak and need to be supported.
Due to the negative societal feelings towards effeminate men, guys who break the rules of masculinity are socially punished. Kimmel interviewed a first-year college student who said that breaking these masculine gender roles would cause him to “lose everything.” Kimmel continues with a list of answers varying from getting physically attacked to ostracized to self-harm. Therefore, Kimmel characterized “The Guy Code” as very negative and hurtful. Barry wrote more about the negative effects of acting like a guy, rather than the effects of the rules of being a guy like Kimmel did. In Barry’s anecdotes, he was left with an unnecessary and expensive computer and a hamstring injury. He also said that guys’ lack of “rigid and well-defined moral code” caused them to cheat on their partners, therefore causing a lot of emotional pain. Kimmel and Barry pointed out several effects on women as
All over the world Masculinity has many different cultural definitions. Depending where someone is from, and what they were brought up to believe, defines what the term “masculinity” entails. Different Social institutions all over the United States, such as the military, sports, clubs, and fraternities, have been constructing their interpretation of masculinity. One major social institution that is active in thousands of Universities across the United States is campus fraternities. Campus fraternities create their own sense of masculinity by generating certain requirements and characteristics a man must hold in order to represent them as a part of their fraternity.
As young men grow up, they would generally learn and integrate within a box of codes which shows them how to be a man, known as the Guy Code. The Guy Code is a set of rules prevalently applied among men groups about how a man behaves with other men and his girlfriend. It mainly teaches guys to be dominant, aggressive and fearless. In Michael Kimmel’s “ Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he indicates that men disguise their emotions and inner beings to be like a man, particularly among their peers. It imposes a consciousness that timidity is not a characteristic that men should have.
We’re all familiar with the stereotypes and myths about what it means to “be a man.” The victorious leader gets what he wants using aggression and does not accept failure; he is smooth with the ladies, and he is often good with a gun. He is usually rich and in control, especially in control of women, like a father who loves his daughter dearly but will be damned if she’s going to go out dressed like that. The list could go on and on with the stereotypes. But the Coen Brothers’ cult-classic film, The Big Lebowsk (1998), with its hero “The Dude,” contradicts these notions of masculinity. The Coen brothers offer several familiar stereotypes of masculinity (the Vietnam vet, the successful capitalist, an oversexed bowler, some aggressive German nihilists), yet it is these characters that throughout the film are shown to be absurd, insecure, and even impotent. It is these stereotype men that the Coen brothers criticize. “Sometimes there’s a man,” says the narrator over and over again, pointing out the Dude’s non-stereotypical masculinity as the true representation of what it means to be a man. The brothers then illustrate that the men who give no thought to their identity, who ignore the pressure to conform to cultural expectations, are to be regarded as “real men.”
An article entitled “How Boys Become Men,” written by Jon Katz was originally published in January, 1993 in Glamour, a magazine for young women. This article details the process of a boy growing into a man and mainly focus on the lesson boys learn that effect their adult lives. These lessons are about how to hold back emotions and never appeared sensitive. The author includes examples of his own experiences as a boy to convey to the reader the challenges of growing into a man. Through the various stories of young boys, the author is trying to prove that the men are insensitive because they had to learn to hide their feelings during the stage of growing up with other boys. The purpose of the author is to explain the women of the world, why men appear to be emotionalist and “macho.” The author’s main idea of this article is to explain why men are insensitive and to help women understand why men sometimes seem “remote” and “uncommunicative.”
Masculinity is always associated with power and control, while femininity is associated with passivity and weakness. As Allan Johnson states, this is related to the fact that “male dominance creates power differences between men and women” (248). So because of the fact that men hold positions of power, they seem more superior to women, creating these stereotypes about each gender. The reason this is important is because when there is an idea of someone being better and people believe it, then it actually happens.... ...
... E Glenn, and Nancy B Sherrod. The psychology of men and masculinity:Research status and future directions. New York: John Wiley and sons, 2001.
In the views of Micheal Kimmel “hegemonic masculinity” is a socially constructed process where men are pressured by social norms of masculine ideals to perform behaviors of a “true man” and its influence on young male’s growth. It is the ideology that being a man with power and expressing control over women is a dominant factor of being a biological male. The structure of masculinity was developed within the 18th to 19th century, as men who owned property and provided for his family with strength related work environments was the perfect example of being a generic “American man.” Kimmel introduces Marketplace Manhood and its relation to American men. He states, “Marketplace Masculinity describes the normative definition of American masculinity.
Boys are influenced by many of their coaches in life; brothers and fathers telling them they must be tough and show no pain, teachers who expect them to work hard at everything they do, and in the back of their minds are their mothers who worry about them over extending and getting hurt. Kimmel asked a few men in their 20’s, “where do young men get these ideas” (the Guy Code), they all gave the same answers: their brothers, fathers, and coaches. One mentioned that his father would always be riding him, telling him that he must be tough to make it in this world, another said his brothers were always ragging on him, calling him a “pussy” because he didn’t want to go outside and play football with them. He just wanted to stay in and play Xbox. Yet another said that whenever he got hurt his coach would mock and make fun of him because he was showing his feelings. The world is a very competitive for men, they believe they must always prove themselves to other men. Men get pressured into doing things they don’t want to do. Men shouldn’t be pressured they should be able to do what they want to
The differences between women and men are not solely biological. Our society’s culture has established a set of unwritten cultural laws of how each gender should act, or in other words society has ascribed a stereotype. Men’s gender identity has been one of masculinity, and masculinity is defined as referring to a man or things described as manly. What does manly mean though? Is a male manly if he is “Mr. Fix-it”, or the jock, or if he sits on the couch on Sunday watching football? This latter statement is a stereotype of men, that has been around for decades, and is current as well, but starting with the 1960’s a man’s role started to change, despite the stereotype not changing to accommodate it. For the past 40 years one can see how men have taken on roles stereotypically ascribed to women, such roles including being the “stay-at-home mom”, which we can find an excellent example of in the 1980’s film “Mr.