More handpicked essays just for you.
Difference between male and female communication style
Role of culture in socialization
Cultural influence on social behavior
Don’t take our word for it - see why 10 million students trust us with their essay needs.
In the article “But What Do You Mean?” by Deborah Tannen, she discusses the different ways men and woman separate from each other in their use of conversational rituals. Tannen focusses and explains the larger area where miscommunication is found. Tannen identifies the seven areas that are apologies, criticism, thank-you, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. To start, ladies use conciliatory sentiments to console other individuals. Men can misconstrue such statements of regret as acknowledgment of acceptance as opposed to as the custom consolation it is intended to be, which the blame of each other is. Second, men criticize more specifically than ladies; ladies "relax" their feedback with a specific end goal to save the individual's sentiments …show more content…
they are condemning. Third, females regularly say "thank you" formally, just to put the other individual on equivalent balance with themselves.
Fourth, men appreciate verbally competing more than ladies; on account of this distinction, ladies can feel that they are being assaulted in a discussion. Fifth, ladies and men use commend in an unexpected way. Ladies have a tendency to expect to be congratulated doing a job, while men tend to believe that not saying anything is good enough. 6th, woman talk about their issues so as to share their encounters; they complain not to have their issues comprehended but rather to empathize. In the other hand, men don't see the complaints as discussion yet as issues to be understood. Lastly, men and ladies have a tendency to contrast in jokes. Men incline toward teasing and fun loving abuse while ladies favor funniness that is more self-censuring. Because of these distinctions, ladies can misjudge men's silliness as antagonistic. In conclusion Tannen closes by expressing that distinctions are not wrong, simply diverse—and that perceiving these distinctions may help men and ladies convey all the more …show more content…
clearly. (Correa/Soc101-09/ TH 6-8:45) CRITIQUE One of the methodological problems we encounter in Tannen’s study involves the way is gives her readers a one sided understanding of the areas of miscommunication.
It is unfortunate to find that in the review of her essay she portrays several bias point of views. Her theory is leaning more into a female’s perspective, she finds it difficult to separate her feelings and point of view rather than including both sexes. Tannen in her theory claims that woman are in disadvantage, since they are not trying to avoid the one-down position. She fails to include a man’s point of view when talking about the areas of miscommunication. Despite the fact that Tannen's endeavors were great, it is highly unlikely that she could have displayed every one of these styles with no sexual orientation predisposition and on account of sex inclination she has a tendency to offend a considerable measure of readers. Tannen neglects to take in record ladies who act different. This isn't something to be thankful for the audience who need to review something that is genuine, right, and precise. Rather than telling the readers that not all ladies confront these sorts of circumstances, she sums up all ladies into acting in specific ways. Making speculations regularly make other frantic, so they wind up not tuning in. In conclusion, Tannen is right when she says that there is no right approach to talk, however she doesn't succeed in exhibiting this thought in her article. Her written work appears to reflect
how the conversational qualities of females are depicted rather than men and women as one major subject Tannen uncovers her sexual orientation inclination. Her composition appears to agree with the lady more than the man. As a reader, I firmly concur that Tannen could enhance to improve things. Be that as it may, keeping in mind the end goal to enhance, she ought to permit the voice and thoughts from an assortment of individuals.
In the story, “But What Do You Mean” by Deborah Tannen she talks about men and women having different ways of seeing things. Some of the things she talks about I believe in while the other things I believe that these things aren’t true. In the text it talks about many different things. It says women apologize to much while men don’t, women cannot take criticism as well as men, women say thank you to much where men don’t say thank-you enough, women and men don’t fight the same, women and men have different habits in regard to giving praise, women and men don’t compliment the same, and finally men can take jokes better than women.
Tannen claims that men carefully choose their words to persuade women into doing as they want and need. Women give in too easily.
Women respond very well to tone and word choice, which Tannen uses to her advantage. She uses personal experience to relate with her more female audience. For example, in the criticism section she uses a scenario that occurred between a male and female editors. Tannen “appreciated her tentativeness” that she gave Tannen when wanting to cut out part of her story(301). In contrast to that her male editor gave her a much different response, saying “call me when you have something new to say”(301). By stating a scenario with two very different outcomes, she falls more bias to women. This is effective to her more female audience because it paints women in a positive light and paints the men in a very negative light. The obvious bias towards women can arguably hurt her more than it could help her. Tannen automatically outs her male audience at a very awkward side, and makes it impossible for them to feel sympathy towards her. This hurts Tannen’s opportunity for having a broad audience, but for what she wrote it for she is very effective. If we are simply talking about how effective it was for women then Tannen hit home with them. Tannen’s choice of using what men say is also very smart, and helps with her effectiveness. She heard a man say, that after working for two women he realized neither of them have a sense of humor(304). By using examples like these
The article introduces a secondary argument about the society’s view of one gender writing about the other. A woman writing about the man is viewed by the society as a prejudiced person. This is true; in my opinion a female writing about a male is sexist. I feel a woman writing about for instance the flaws of the male character is sexist because both genders have flaws and why should only one gender be put to question.
Tannen points out “a greater percentage of discussion time is taken by men’s voices.” (2) She tells us why this is a disadvantage to the women in the classroom. She then continued to separate the two genders into their given stereotypes. Girls tend to separate themselves from large groups; they talk amongst
Deborah Tannen wrote “ Talk in the Intimate Relationship” to help people learn something about how men and women's interactions differ. She is a language scholar and has past experience of failed relationships and she feels as though this was because of lack of communication. Her main focus is on metamessages, these are messages that go beyond what we say. She states that the people that are literal minded, miss out on the context of what communication is. What this essay will consist of being what Tannen calls metamessages, summarizing her article on how men and woman talk, deciding whether Tannen is favorable to both genders and last but not least if I agree to an extent with Tannen says in her article.
In her book Making Gender, Ortner argues that women's different bodily functions may cause them to be closer to nature, place them in different social roles, and give them a different psychic structure than men (27). Along with the woman-is-to-man-as-nature-is-to-culture analogy come other dichotomies associated with masculinity and femininity. Women's writings are traditionally more circular than linear and women are more concerned with their bodies than men. The opposite can then be said about men; they write in a linear style more often and value their bodies less.
Communications generally occur in body languages: how the individuals interpret each other. Her essay is an event that is reoccurring more and more lately. The event results in a failure in marriage. In today’s society more and more people are splitting up or having divorces due to miscommunications. The essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” that Deborah Tannen wrote is much use of today because it explains where miscommunications happen and she has her own studies and research to back it up. The essay goes into depth about her ideologies that cause miscommunications. Look at a miscommunication twice and do not be quick to judge because it will save plenty of
Steven Pinker distinguishes the difference between talking to man and women. Pinker showed a lady that was comfortable talking to another lady and the lady became angry when her talking to a man, not women (Pinker 2007 .p112, 113). People used intricacies method to achieve their needs and emotion instead of saying what they need to say directly. (Pinker 2007 .p113) Furthermore, even in a sexual situation, people twist and turn around and turn around their words. For example, “would you like to come up and see my etching?” (Pinker 2007.p113) Moreover, people use a kind word to order something from someone else without making a demand to the receiver or using indirect speeches to avoid a problem that may happen by mistake. (Pinker, 2007
In Deborah Tannen’s writing, You Just Don’t Understand, she argues and presents different gender differences between males and females. Tannen shows that the root of all of these differences is that most of the time males value independence and females value the intimacy of a relationship. These traits hidden in the male and female psychology affect their decisions and actions. Through my own observations and experiences I have confirmed her beliefs and agree with her arguments.
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
In the article “Understanding Mom” the author Deborah Tanen refuses to be pushed backwards as she provides adequate ground for her choice to divorce her husband and return to school; at the same time making an earnest and conscientious attempt to comprehend the worlds of gender and marriage from her mother’s point of view. In life Deborah
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
...a meaningful communication to take place. In conclusion, there are differences between men and women that go beyond social nurture. These differences have their origin in their genes. The differences evident in men and women are translated in their behavior and communication. There are possibilities of these differences in their turn raising the problem of failing to understand one another because in a communication men and women have a different set of expectations from each other. It is essential to understand and appreciate these differences for a meaningful communication to take place.
Communication is a necessary skill for success in life. Misunderstandings in communication occur frequently between people due to language and perceptual differences. In intimate relationships, this misunderstanding in communication between the man and the woman leads to great agitation and tension -- seemingly the two sexes speak in completely different vernaculars. The Genderlect Style Theory explains that men and women talk in distinct cultural dialects and mannerisms, which reflect the different genders’ objectives; men desire status and achievement, while women desire personal connections and relationships. In the following pages, I will identify the theorist behind the Genderlect Style Theory, examine her educational history, and discuss other contributions she has made in the world of social sciences and psychology. Using physical examples, I will demonstrate the Genderlect Style Theory in the real world to steel our understanding. Lastly, I will explain what I have personally gleaned from my research.