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But what do you mean deborah tannen summary
You just dont understand deborah tannen summary
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In Deborah Tannen’s writing, You Just Don’t Understand, she argues and presents different gender differences between males and females. Tannen shows that the root of all of these differences is that most of the time males value independence and females value the intimacy of a relationship. These traits hidden in the male and female psychology affect their decisions and actions. Through my own observations and experiences I have confirmed her beliefs and agree with her arguments.
Tannen gives an example of how these psychological traits affects human emotions and actions when she discusses the relationship between Josh and Linda and the relationship between Louise and Howie. Josh makes plans with a friend without consulting his spouse, Linda.
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Female plebes or midshipmen are more likely to avoid confrontation and accept the facts. A specific example of this is how male and female plebes react when they face failing a class, being setback, or being disenrolled. The male plebes try to defend their actions and make up excuses, just as the males in Tannen’s writing and her husband make excuses or try to defend themselves. The reason that males are more defensive is because they do not want to show weakness and they want to have a sense of independence. If they admit that they are not succeeding in their methods, then they are showing that they need help and are no longer independent. The female plebes on the other hand accept the truth and agree that they could have changed some things, just as Tannen did when she talked to people about her long distance relationship. Females do not value a sense of independence as much as men do, thus they are willing to admit that they are struggling and need help. Females value the intimacy of a relationship, so they are more willing to accept the truth that they need to get help and not make up excuses, because they do not want to risk damaging a relationship or friendship over a disagreement or
This kind of demonstration from media, about how a woman 's character should be, psychologically creates rules for the young women. These rules are contradictory to each other which are impossible to follow. Young women struggle to follow these rules which lead them to the idea of splitting. Young women make tough decision of splitting, which mean they separate the choice of lifestyle they can have and pick one of them. Bell argues that “the contradictions and uncertainties that characterize today 's young women’s lives lead many of them to systematically employ certain unconscious defense to resolve their internal conflicts and anxiety, often to detriment.”(28).
In Karen Horney's "The Distrust Between the Sexes," she attempts to explain the problems in the relationships between men and women. She writes that to understand the problem you must first understand that problems stem from a common background. A large amount of suspiciousness is due to people's intensity of emotions.
Deborah Tannen is the author of “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other”. Tannen is a linguist who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research, but has information published in several books and essays about this topic. Her research includes talking with several of groups and collecting data on the behalf of their response. In her essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,”Tannen argues that complications arise in marriages and relationships because individuals are not able to communicate with members of the opposite sex.
This standard looks at whether or not the theory opens up a new perspective that is uniquely human. When trying to understand the laws that govern relationships, Baxter and Montgomery looked at many relationships and found that there were contradictions, different expectations, and several other misconceptions. This led the...
Chapter 9 Gendered Close Relationships is about stereotypes for men and women ideas on how to behave in relationships. The expectations for male and female in a relationships have been set by their gender roles. The meaning of personal relationships is where partners depend on each other for various things from affection to material assistance. Partners are expected affection, companionship and energy. The two main models of personal relationships are male deficit model and alternate paths model. Male deficit model suggests male lack skills in developing relationships with others. In alternate paths model, men and women just have different ways to sustain a relationship. It’s not that men lack skills but men show it in a different way.
David Grazian’s study builds on Quinn’s research on men and women's interactions and Grazian finds similar results as Quinn did in her study. In the study of Grazian the performance of both men and women was driven by both genders trying to prove that they are as the audience (society) says they should be. Society has men believing that all women want only one type of man, a masculine man and society has woman believing that men want women who are quite, pretty and live to make their man happy. Both parties in both studies have been fooled by society and they don’t realize or understand
Tannen believes that men and women are cross cultural when it comes to conversation. While analyzing basic conversation, Tannen primarily focuses on married couples and marriage, in general. Whether implied or not, Tannen fails to deliver enough credible scientific research to inform the audience of her opinions and viewpoints. Tannen begins her argument explaining a personal experience with a married couple which she invited to a group meeting that she held. Tannen uses this dependable experience to confirm that American men talk more than women in public, and usually talk less at home. Tannen uses the word “crystallizes”, to display the accuracy of her research through this personal discovery. Tannen states, “This episode crystallizes the irony that although American men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home” (239). Tannen presents research as if a female is the only gender to, “crave communication” in a relationship, giving no background information to support this theory. Deborah Tannen gives numerous personal accounts of issues married couples seem to have, but hardly giving actual scientific
While, approximately 45% of marriages in America end in divorce, there are various amounts of sociological reasons for this number being so high (Hyde). Truly, while thinking about all of the factors that go into a divorce, they can be overwhelming. The first reading for this class, “Taking a New Look at a Familiar World” had examined the reason for a girlfriend breaking up with her boyfriend. During this reading the author had examined the reasons for a break up and said that there are a significant amount of other possibilities for the break up (Newman). Michael and Louise had broken up and Louise was the one to initiate the break up (Newman). People tend to use an individualistic explanation for the break up and blame it on one or both of the individuals personally (Newman). If the break up is looked at from a sociological standpoint, then one can see that there are many of other factors that could be the reason for Michael and Louise breaking up. Other circumstances that could of led to a break up could have been the availability in the dating market, as well as a change in what a partner needs in a relationship
From a young age , many individuals worldwide are socialized according to their gender and what is appropriate for males and females. Socializing according to ones gender starts from the moment you are born when the nurses give you either a blue or pink blanket to wrap the child in. This allows society to known whether the child is a male or female. The double standard for gender occurs within many areas of development for instance the clothes one wears, the toys that are placed with, the jobs and careers one chooses in their later life. Attachment given by a child's parent reinforces an individual to be socialized and children can also contribute how their parents treat and see them , these are social constructs within parenting (Ambert,2012). All of these things can be gender separated and still are in today's society. Another area where males and females are socialized differently is in the area of sexuality and what is acceptable for males is not always for the female gender. Gender specific norms govern the appropriate amount of partners , when it is acceptable to engage in sexual activity and what motivates ones behavior (Kreager &Staff, 2009). This shows society individuals are socialized according to their gender because males are socialized into behaving a different way than girls but it still be accepted as a norm. Women are taught that it is okay to have sexual relationships but they need a reason, example being in a committed relationship, where as men just need a place. This is a common perception based on ones gender , formed from a western conservative view point ( Fugere et.al, 2008). Gender socialization is a process where boys are seen to be given wings and girls are to be given roots (Myers, Spencer, Jordan...
Let’s first start with “The Origins of Sex Differences in Human Behavior” (Eagly 1999). Eagly’s social structure origin theory proposes that men and women are psychologically different because their social roles generally differ. For example, historically, men have taken on the role of providing for their family with money and protection, playing the patron of the family. Women, however, have taken on the role of a nurture-giving guardian, playing a lesser part than their partner in making decisions regarding the family. For the most part, men are seen as the “man of the house” who puts dinner on the table and clothes on our backs while women...
Overall, we can see that 200 years later we are still attempting to escape from the gender line created through society’s image of men and women. Men and women still fail to communicate their feelings within their relationships, resulting in an overall unhealthy marriage. Today women and men attempt to challenge these gender stereotypes by taking on the roles of the opposite gender, but like in the “Yellow Wallpaper” are immediately met with “heavy opposition” and disapproval through the process. Although we may seem as though we are improving in escaping from the gendered stereotypes, the past will always be recurrent in a majority of relationships today if dominance within the relationship is not equally balance between both sexes.
relationship problems between men and women because of the fundamental psychological differences between them. The author represents men and women from two different planets. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This book also states the difference of values of men's and
Historically, the roles of men and women have evolved overtime. For thousands of years, static gender roles were the accepted norm. In the 18th century “the idea that women and men naturally possess distinct characteristics” was a view that many people had (Emsley). Women were believed to be controlled by their emotions whereas men were thought of as
Gender roles and identity are constantly shifting throughout different societal generations. Men and woman both have notable similarities and differences in genders and they each contribute to their personalities and actions. In the past men have been viewed as a more dominant sex in society over women, both in careers, home life, and sexually, however, today women have bridged many of the gaps and society is accepting a more equal view of genders. The following examines the similarities and differences between men and woman by looking at biological characteristics, gender roles, and sexual responses.
They creates a stigmatized definition of what it means to be male and female. These stereotypical roles given to us from birth, often create gender inequality causing both males and females to struggle from gender disproportion. Unfortunately this is difficult to eliminate as they have been socially constructed into our societies. Although over the years these roles have been changing due to the awareness, media and many laws and protests, there is still the need for a self-identity and equality among both males and females. Blasco (2010) suggests that in order for us to move towards improvement, we cannot view males and females as complete opposite.