INTRODUCTION:
All my life I have been shy. Also, all my life I’ve been hearing people say, “She will grow out of it.” I’m 20 years old and the shyness is still here. As a kid you can get by being shy but as an adult, shyness can hold you back in many aspects of your life.
DESCRIBING PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOR:
After two weeks of recording my behaviors I’ve come to realize in what situations my shyness comes into play most often. There are very few situations that I feel comfortable with myself, allowing me to speak freely. The only people that I ever feel at ease with are my own family and friends. Even my own family and friends can turn me silent in some situations.
Meeting new people is a very hard task for me. Sometimes it feels almost impossible. My biggest fear of meeting new people is, not knowing what to say. In most cases I would rather avoid a situation than have to deal with the feeling of not knowing what to say. 2/6-2/9 I tried to avoid any situation that I thought I could feel awkward in. Avoidance can be either physical (steering clear of a friend after having an argument, or in my case, steering clear of a friend to avoid the chance of any awkward situation) or conversational (changing the topic, joking, or denying that a problem exists). (Ch.11-Managing Conflict, p.304) Most shy people would rather avoid the short term problem of meeting new people and asking for dates, even when the long term goal of intimate relationships are enticing.
On 1/18 I had a job interview at a new pizza restaurant. My parent’s had been hounding me for months to find a job. The new pizza restaurant that was opening, the owner happened to be one of my dad’s co-workers, so I decided that even though I hated interviews I would give this one a try. It was 1/18 that the owner had called and asked for me to come in for an interview that same day. From the moment that I hung up the phone after agreeing that I would be there at 2:30 I had the same sick feeling I always got when I was nervous about something. All I could think about was all the other interviews that I had gone on in the past and never got the job, so that had to be how this was going to turn out too, that was my self-fulfilling prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophec... ... middle of paper ...
...ome vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” (Desiderata)
One source of low self-esteem is inaccurate self-perception. Sometimes I can be overly harsh of myself, believing that I’m worse than the facts indicate. Learning to have a realistic perception of myself was a hard thing to learn. Gaining self-esteem isn’t something that you will gain over night. I think throughout this term I have learned many things leading me to gain the self-esteem slowly that I lost back in high school.
To change my self-concept I have to have the will to change. I have said for many years that I want to change, but I don’t do anything but say that. I thought that being shy was who I was. My static evaluation that’s I’ve heard over and over in my head, “Ashley is shy.” (Ch. 4 – Language, p. 98) I am capable of changing this part of my life, it is something that I have to have the will to gain the skills I need to be able to change. The main thing that I learned from this project and life is, shyness may be difficult to overcome, but loneliness is harder.
Ever since I was in middle school, people always told me that I’m quiet and shy. Having said that, I never felt comfortable communicating with people I didn't know that well. That also includes speaking or presenting in front of a class. According to my family and friends, I’m the complete opposite, because they claim that I’m talkative. Being shy and nervous did affect my schoolwork. I wouldn’t raise my hand in class that often, because I didn’t feel comfortable enough. When I was in 6th grade, my teacher would always call up students to share something they liked about a story they read. When the teacher called out my name, my heart started pounding, my hands were shaking and my mind went completely blank. I was so nervous to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out any moment. That’s when I asked the teacher if I could excuse myself to go to the bathroom. She didn’t mind that request so I tried to calm myself down by washing my face and breathing. After class, my teacher and I discussed my inability to present in front of a class. She was obliging, because she agreed to help me overcome being shy and to help boost my self-confidence. Shyness and nervousness also stopped me from participating in activities and obtaining opportunities. In 10th grade, my Chemistry teacher suggested a film festival, because she was aware that I loved filmmaking. At first, I considered the idea, because I’ve never done anything like it before. Having thought about it, I then realized that I was going to have my movie up on a full screen where
Social phobia is “shyness taken to an extreme” (Myers 323). The origins of social phobia can be linked to “traumatic social experiences and social isolation” (Hudson118-120). A traumatic social experience can be “being laughed at or making a mistake in situations such as being called on to talk in class, being on a first date, speaking in public or being at a party”(Hudson 118). Social isolation includes “being teased, bullied, laughed at, rejected, neglected, or isolated from other children. Research from Allison G. Harvey shows that certain events around the time social fears being are when people are changing schools or work at 50.9%, not fitting in with or being ostracized by a p...
Being told that talking to strangers is dangerous since we were four can alter how we think about all of the unknown people around us. Somewhere along the line, the fear of being kidnapped and murdered transitions into not wanting to talk to some weirdo or to be rude. There are situations where it is perfectly okay to talk to a person you don’t know, like at a party. However, there are times when you should not talk to strangers, such as when they are eating. When you are alone, eating is usually a private experience, or when you are with
Payne, S.K. & Richmond, V.P. (1984). A bibliography of related research and theory. In J.C. McCroskey & J.A. Daly (Eds.). Avoiding communication: shyness, reticence, and communication apprehension. (pp. 247-294). London: Sage Publications Inc.
Social Anxiety comes in two stages, Child Development and Adults. Social Phobia is often confused with the actual disorder and basic shyness. Social anxiety occurs in infancy and is said to be very normal for children to exhibit the disorders characteristics. It has been proven that as a child one goes through the fear of being rejected by peers, speaking in front of large crowds, and severely lacking confidence. Adult Social Anxiety is usually easier to indentify due to the lack of communication with others. Unlike children, adults are expected to interact with others without a problem.
and not wanting to say the wrong thing. Only the first session consisted of those sort of
runs away from it” With that we ended the interview and thanked them for their time
communicating with others or in public is just normal jitters and when it goes beyond that and
One of the biggest fears I have had to overcome in high school is my fear of public speaking. I was always comfortable in the classroom; I loved discussing current events and explaining different biology and history to my friends, but I could not stand in front of them to give a presentation. Whenever I stood in front of my classmate speak, I would begin to shake so much that I could not read any notes I may have brought up with me. I was an absolute wreck and I hated that I could not overcome my phobia; however, my fear of public speaking is incredibly ironic because my sister teaches public speaking on a collegiate level. When I told my sister that I was horrified of standing up and speaking in front of my classmates, she was surprised. My sister told me that I could not let my fear stop me from speaking because I would likely never get over it. In addition, she
I believe that my behavior varies based upon the situation I am placed into. If I am without familiar people in an unfamiliar location or situation where I am forced to speak to others, I will become increasingly nervous or anxious. Therefore, before properly becoming friends with me others may view me as simply quiet or rude because of my lack of words in certain situations. However, when people are genuinely kind and make me feel comfortable around them I tend to somewhat open up. Excluding my introversion in instances where I do not know anyone, I can surprisingly be relaxed and outgoing. When I’m participating in group activates with my friends we all instantly forget I’m even referred to as “the shy one” of the
I believe that my loss in confidence was a barrier for me to become a communicative person I want to be with my peers. The fact that I was not interested in the
479). Throughout my life, I have always been described by teachers, friends, and family as an introvert. I’m shy around other people and often have a difficult time talking to them. In school, I’m the student that the teacher doesn’t know if I’m in class or not, unless I participate in discussions. It was interesting to learn more about introversion by reading about it in the book and the discussions in class. I was intrigued by the research information in the book, “shyness has a strong biological influence” (Grison, Heatherton,Gazzaniga, 2017, p. 484). My grandfather displayed the same quiet nature. Whenever, I went to my grandparent’s home, I noticed how he sat and listened intently to others, but didn’t speak much. He has always had a quiet nature. In addition, I learned more about the trait from the Eysenck’s Biological Trait Theory of Personality, which described how “personality traits had two major dimensions:
“open-door” policy with the people in my life and I’m confident when meeting new people, I
People all over the world have accomplished things that made them who they are today. Overcoming shyness was a huge accomplishment and something that was very significant to me that marked my transition from childhood to adulthood.
...ause they do not readily participate in classroom and score lower in tests that measure their intelligence compare to their peers. Teachers hold lower expectations from shy students. Not only do they believe that shy students cannot obtain high grades, many teachers holds stereotype that shy students have inferior cognitive abilities. They expect shy students to lack the skills necessary for performing well in the classroom (Hughes & Coplan, 2010). As shyness expresses differently in a person depending on the environment so it could be possible that one person is socially active in front of his parents but not of teachers and peers. This type of shyness could be alleviated by having some psychological counseling or by medication but medication method would not be as effective as counseling because shyness is more likely to be due to wrong perception of a person.