Resolving Personal Conflicts Through Assertive Communication

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Introduction “Conflict is a problematic situation that occurs between interdependent people who seek different goals or means to those goals (Cahn & Abigail, 2014).” Perceived differences can affect the relationship adversely if not addressed and is one of the characteristics of conflict. A sense of urgency about the need to resolve the differences are is another characteristics of conflict. While conflict occurs in many places – the workplace, between friends, parents and children, etc., one of the most difficult areas for conflict to occur is in a romantic relationship. Not resolving the conflict can cause resentment and a dampening of the feelings towards one another, and the urgency to resolve the differences is palpable. I have shared the last five years of my life with a friend and former boyfriend, Rob, living in a 40 foot boat. Living in these cramped quarters with someone that you love and get along famously with would be difficult, but living with someone that causes daily conflicts is next to impossible. Rob has been married twice and had been divorced for 13 years when I met him. His general attitude towards relationships is that if you do not like what he does, “you know where the door is.” I was told this several times during my first year with him. But I thought the good outweighed the bad. I was a full time boater myself, traveling in an older boat before I met Rob and I loved the lifestyle. Traveling with someone else and sharing the expenses made it possible for you to go many more places than you could traveling alone. Dating a man that had some truly good qualities – love and compassion for animals, good sense of humor, enjoying the boating lifestyle as well, love of family - and living in a ... ... middle of paper ... ...at, my situation Rob was resolved by my taking assertive communication steps and requesting that he seek counseling to help deal with his misperceptions about women. I now know about Relational Transgressions, Forgiveness and Reconciliation. But those can only occur between two people willing to work things out. He refused and I moved out. And life is much, much better outside of an atmosphere of constant conflict. Works Cited Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014).Managing conflict through communication(5th ed.). Boston: Pearson. O’Connor, A. (2009). Lee Marvin’s partner gave the world ‘palimony’. The Age/World. Retrieved from http://www.theage.com.au Tavris, C., & Aaronson, E. (2007). Mistakes were made (but not by me): Why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts. New York: Harcourt.

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