Red Roses Monologue

"After I got home on Monday, I locked myself in my bedroom and forced myself to drink mustard and hot sauce until I threw up. I haven't eaten since then. I've gone to work, but other than that, I haven't left the house either. Megan went to live with one of her friends after I yelled at her. I'm just tired now. I don't have the energy to do anything or go anywhere. I need money to pay bills so I go to work. Other than that, I'm just home alone. TV doesn't even interest me anymore." I explain to the group at Champions' church.

I really didn't know who else to go to. I didn't go on Tuesday so I figured I might as well come today.

"Have you heard anything from Marcus?" Pastor Keith asks.

"No. But I'm glad. Forget him. Good riddance." I

answer.

"Forgiveness is needed in that area but we'll get to that later. For now, we're happy you're talking to us about your problems and battles." He says.

"What about the man who took you home after the bar?" A woman in the group asks.

I haven't seen her before, she could be new.

"I've seen him at work every day. He comes to check on me and we sit and talk during my lunch break." I answer.

"What's his name?" She asks.

"Deborah, don't interrogate. Let her open up at her own pace." Pastor Keith says.

"Sorry, Pastor." The woman, Deborah, apologizes and backs off.

"Is there anything else you'd like to share with us, Alysonn?" He asks.

"No." I answer with a smile.

I don't know why I'm smiling. I just know there's something inside me that's different. I feel.. Free.. In a sense. I feel like a weight has been taken off of my chest. Not a big one but a medium sized one. Now I feel I can carry the others more easier. It's strange.

I waited with Pastor Keith for the mysterious man in the black hoodie to enter the church and I waited for him to finish at the altar. He took a little longer this time. When he's done, he leaves some dollar bills and a watch at the altar. As he makes his way to the door, I approach him and stop him.

"If you ever need it, there's a group held here on Fridays and Tuesdays. A little earlier than when you get here. People listen to your story and what you have to say. You don't have to hide or be alone." I say.

The man just stays silent with his head down.

"Nobody here judges anyone for their sins." I add.

"Trust me, miss. If you knew the things I've done, you'd never want to speak to me again." He replies and walks around me.

I turn and watch him leave. As I get to the door and look out into the parking lot, he's already driving away.

"It was worth a shot." I say.

"This group isn't meant for everybody." Pastor Keith replies.

That night I didn't eat anything. I fell asleep on my bed with my head where my feet are supposed to go. It sometimes helps me sort of "reset" my sleeping patterns. In the morning the blankets are all over the floor. My pillows too. After a visit to the restroom, I drag myself to the kitchen and check my phone. Yes, I keep my phone in the kitchen on the charger. If I leave it in my room, I'll never sleep. It's not my fault those games are so addicting! I've got a voicemail from Jasper.

"Good morning sunshine, I hope this message reaches you before 9AM. I'll be at the small retro diner next to Spick 'n Spans. I'd love for you to join me for a cup of coffee and some of the fluffiest pancakes in town. I'll be waiting."

My stomach grumbles at the thought of a fluffy pancake. Time? 8:14AM. I've got time. It's tempting. Jasper is.. Charming.. There's something about him that keeps me there, talking with him. Nonstop conversing. It feels like we could talk about anything and everything and never run out of things to talk about. When I'm speaking, it feels like he actually wants to listen to me. Like he enjoys listening to me. It looks as if he's anticipating every word that comes out of my mouth. I feel the same way when he's speaking. He doesn't have an accent but he has a way of speaking that makes him sound like he should have an accent. One main feature about him that has always captivated me is his dark brown eyes. They seem to light up with color when he's discussing a topic he's passionate about. There's a bit of mystery and comfort in his dark eyes. I can't exactly find the words to describe the feeling I get when he makes eye contact with me. I decide to send him a text message.

"I can be there in about twenty minutes."

I turn on some music and blast the volume all the way on high. After getting dressed, I locate my keys and wallet. I grab my phone and I'm out the door. After a short drive, I'm walking into the small retro diner. It doesn't take me long to spot Jasper sitting in a booth in the corner of the diner. When he sees me approaching, his face lights up. He stands and motions for me to sit down. It's kind of awkward cause it's a booth.. What else am I supposed to do? He's wearing a nice tan blazer, beige dress pants, and a blue button up shirt. As we both sit down, he smiles widely and readjusts his glasses.

"Good morning, Ms. Meyers." He says.

"Good morning." I reply.

"Thank you for joining me." He says.

"Thank you for inviting me." I reply.

He reaches over to his left and grabs something that sounds like plastic.

"These are for you." He says, handing me a bouquet of orange and white roses.

"Oh my.. They're so beautiful!" I reply, taking them.

He just stays grinning, doesn't say a word.

"I have to admit, I've never been given orange roses before." I add.

"Alysonn, did you know roses, well, flowers in general but roses have a meaning behind them?" He asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Certain flowers can mean certain things. Red roses represent love and romance. White roses represent marriage and new beginnings. Yellow, friendship and joy." He answers.

"What about pink?" I ask.

"Pink, if I remember properly represent love and appreciation." He answers. "But do you know what orange roses represent?" He asks.

I shake my head and place the roses beside me on the table.

"Orange represents enthusiasm and passion." He continues. "Alysonn, I must confess something to you. If you do not approve or share in what I'm about to reveal to you, you may get up and leave right now and I promise to you that I will not be persistent. "

"Okay.." I reply raising my brow.

"I have found myself thinking about you a lot. I always anticipate our little meetings. I find excuses to go and see you at Spick 'n Span's and when it's time to part my heart is sad. Alysonn what I'm beating around the bush trying to say is I realize I have feelings for you." He

says.