For me, it was very hard having my parents divorce, but I think it helped me become the person I am today. Even though I know that it was better for my parents to no longer be together, it still hurt me. I am not very close with my mother and that is why I partially blame my parents divorce on her. Me not being close to her affects me everyday. As a result of my parents divorcing, it has caused me a lot of emotional trauma for the past four years.
My parents started their divorce process almost four years ago. My mother was strung out on prescription drugs to help her deal with her pain associated with her Klippel-Feil Syndrome while my father was, as I learned last year, growing marijuana in my backyard. While my mother was on all of
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her drugs, my father slowly decided to no longer deal with her, and that hurt me a lot because in that moment I realized that my parents have been very unhappy for a long time. They have just been sticking together to make my brother and I happy, and that affected their relationship greatly. In effect of my parents being unhappy, that rubbed off on me and caused me to become very isolated my freshman and sophomore year because I did not want to be hurt again. This also caused me to not have many friends until this past year, my junior year. Not having any friends the first two years of high school affects a person a lot.
There are so many new things happening and all types of pressure, thankfully that I never gave into, but if I had, I would not of had any guidance or someone to tell me that maybe that is not such a good idea. I still resent my parents a little for putting me through that situation. Another effect of my parents divorce is a lot of family drama. There were nights where my mother would come to my fathers house, because she was no longer living with us at this point, and she would try to make me leave with her because she no longer wanted me living with my father and his then girlfriend. She caused me to start having panic attacks and it is crazy to think that this is all because my parents divorced almost four years ago.
My parents’ divorce has affected me in such a way that I am honestly happy that it happened. It seems strange to think that, but I honestly feel as if their divorce has made me a better person. I have become more comfortable with who I am and the way I see things. I have never been a judgmental person, but I feel like their divorce has made me realize that you can not look at someone and assume that their lives are picture perfect, because on the surface everything may seem fine, but nobody knows what somebody’s life is like until they have spent a day in their
shoes.
As a small 5th grader not much sense came out of my parents divorce. Lots of confusion mixed in with an underlying sadness that I was too shy to show because I couldn’t stand the thought of making my mother cry. But it hurt. I took these emotions and bottled them up hopes that things would go back to normal
Divorce introduces a mass change in children’s life. As I told a story in the beginning of the essay, do you wonder what consequences she might be facing? Do you know how she might be feeling living a life without mom? Unfortunately, this may cause the custodial parent to be upset for not being able to meet the needs of the child. Divorce is hard for those kids who have to face these situations. Most of the studies showed that divorce makes a huge difference in children’s life. I have learned that, when parents get divorced, it breaks the foundation that the child was used to.
When I was only nine years old I sat on my mother’s lap and heard the news that would impact my life indefinitely. When I learned that my parents were getting divorced, I never expected there to be any positive effects. However, in dealing with this drastic change in my life, I became a stronger person in numerous ways. Carrying my new maturity, new self-sufficiency, and new resilience on the weight of my shoulders these past 9 years have proven to me that I will succeed in life. Undergoing my parents’ divorce has heightened my level of maturity. I’ve learned life skills that allowed me to improve my self-sufficiency. Furthermore, going through this tough period of time has made me far more resilient in the face of hardships.
I felt completely different about my life and the way I was living it. I wanted to flip my life around at the very moment and knew I couldn’t do it right then and there that it was going to take time and effort. I spoke to my mom the next day and I told her everything I realized and I apologized for being the way I was and making all the immature decisions I was at the moment. My aftermath motivated me to become the person I am today and live my life making better decisions for myself.
A study done by Hetherington and Kelly (2002) showed that 25% of people whose parents divorced had serious long term effects on them, these included: social, emotional and psychological issues. The other 75% whose parents divorced did not suffer any long-term issues into adult hood (Lansford, 2009). However divorce can be related to behaviour problems even at a very young age, but it is usually a small amount of children or adults that suffer with long term effects (Lansford, 2009). It is important to note that the lingering feelings do not count as long-term effects, these are natural and expected but do not count (Kelly and Emery, 2003). An important factor to take into account is how long the child has lived with both parents before the divorce, for example research has shown that when a family breaks down that has been together for a long time, it can have a worse effect and harder to adjust for the child (Mooney, Oliver and Smith, 2009). Short-term adjustments and effects are higher in children, due to the child having to come to terms with the divorce, however these symptoms lessen as the child comes to term with the family break down and begin to adjust, the short-term distress that the children face usually lessens (Lansford, 2009; Mooney, Oliver and Smith, 2009).
When he or she mention they are going through or has been through a “Divorce”, we as human beings feels sympathetic to that person. Divorce is by no means a pleasant experience to male or female. The Dictionary defines divorce as “formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom” (Dictionary). For those who have not experienced it can not be compared themselves to it. Davis talks about in his article “Marriage: Seasons of Marriage”, that marriage is a life long experience however for some the experience runs short, like myself have recently went through a divorce. “Expert or not, marriage is hard work, At times you consider quitting. Creating a lasting marriage is a humbling experience. It is part skill, part luck, elbow grease and blind determination” (Davis). It turned my life around for the better. Sometimes people change for the better when he or she experience it. Billy Collins poem Divorce, talks about a couple going through a divorce using imagery, tone and
For example, when my mother and my father were separated, this influence their behavior towards each other as well as my own behavior towards both parents. Despite the fact that I was still very young, I knew what was happening and this event certainly affected my life.
My parents got a divorce when I was a sophomore in high school. The divorce took its toll on me. At the beginning, I started having trust issues. When you’re a kid you believe your parents are going to be together forever. I trusted the fact whole heartedly and witnessing my parents go through a divorce made me believe that no one could be trusted. I remember doing things my way because I couldn’t trust anyone to follow through with the task I gave them in group projects. In addition, I was afraid to talk about my parent’s divorce because no one in my circle of friends at school went through the same condition I did. My parent’s divorce led me to having trust issues and made it hard to confide in anyone.
Today, I still continue taking care of my family like I had promised to be. My father now working does not come home until late in the afternoon meaning that the household work would be left to my Grandmother, sister and I. I am thankful for my parents divorce because it has helped me grow as a person and shown me that changing is necessary for the greater good.
Being a product of a broken home, and having my own child which is also a product of a broken home I can relate personally to the lasting effects that divorce has on a child.
Most people would think that I’m depressed, but I like to think of my parents’ divorce as something positive that has happened in my life.
American Journalist, Helen Rowland said, “ When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand each other, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to” (1). Divorce means the ending of a marriage by legal separation, thus, a couple that were once bonded together have now separated for opposing reasons. Divorce has hurt and destroyed many families across the world and can cause a lot of negativity. Teens often do not know how to deal with the fact that their family is no longer whole and they will transition into a depression. Teens may experience emotional damage by seeing the two most important people in their lives fight constantly. There is a good side and a bad side to seeing parents go through a divorce as a teen. Quite often teens tend to see that, since they are so unhappy, that it is better for them to separate because they do not want to see their parents get hurt. Even when separated, they learn to communicate and bond between one another. The negative side of divorce is that families sometimes stay torn apart, therefore: There is a lot of anger, rage that happens because going through a situation like this is not something that is easy, and many emotions become involved. Dealing with their parents can be difficult for some teens, but for many others, they feel as if a divorce will make their family happier without seeing all of the fighting.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
As a child that comes from a family of divorced parents, it has help me understand my behaviors after my parents separated, and how my parents dealt with it at the moment. Their behavior towards each other was somewhat hostile, because of the motives for the separation. However, their attitude change towards each other in an amicable way as time passed. Even though I might have been very harsh with my father around that time, he still was there when I needed and was responsible with any matter that had to do with my well
Realizing and embracing the reality, that a failed marriage had irreversibly altered me was a challenging transition and remains to be a work in continuous progress. This journey has been an experience which has compelled me to focus on accepting responsibility for my actions and decisions that led to this devastating life changing event. I could have easily allowed my negative emotions to take complete control in dealing with my tribulation. But, instead, I decided to face my misery and deal with every aspect of what led me to this distressing event. By doing this, I felt I could release the hurt, anger, bitterness, destroy the self-destructive thought process, and be able to have a healthy romantic relationship in the future.