Long time ago, I was talking to one of my friends Sami who was living with her dad. She is always upset and depress because her dad couldn’t take care of her all the time. She always missed her mom. She wanted to be with her mom. She wondered if her mom still loves her even though she never saw her mom. I asked her, “Why did your parents got divorced?” She answered, “I have no idea because they separated when I was three years old. My dad doesn’t like to talk about it. I miss her very much and I know she miss me as well. I am sure she might be thinking about me just like I think about her all the time”. Her words touched my heart emotionally. I felt sad. This conversation made me to think more on divorce, but I never got time to research on it. Now, I got an opportunity to select a topic to research so I chose divorce. I would like to know what situations children go through after their parents get divorced. I am assuming that divorce might be the hardest thing for some children, especially in childhood life. Divorces are more common than they were generations ago. In a Time/CNN survey released in august 1997 which showed that the largest population of respondents (45%) answered that marriage is not taken seriously by most of the couples because they always end up getting divorced. Sixty four percent also believed that couples should get lessons on marriage before getting married (“public opinion”). From my understanding, this controversy over divorce has remained one of the nation’s most important debates. There are reasons why most of the couples get separated. It can be because of misunderstanding. It can be because they stop loving each other. Sometime little arguments and misunderstandings can turn out to be the biggest probl... ... middle of paper ... ...nt, it is normal to feel uncertain about how to give your child the right support through your divorce or separation. It might be hard but parents can still help their kids to be strong, confident and give them love. Even after the divorce, they can still have relationship with their kids. Divorce introduces a mass change in children’s life. As I told a story in the beginning of the essay, do you wonder what consequences she might be facing? Do you know how she might be feeling living a life without mom? Unfortunately, this may cause the custodial parent to be upset for not being able to meet the needs of the child. Divorce is hard for those kids who have to face these situations. Most of the studies showed that divorce makes a huge difference in children’s life. I have learned that, when parents get divorced, it breaks the foundation that the child was used to.
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the legislation of California State changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing causes (Child Study Center, 2001). This resolution was accepted by the other states and later, the number of divorced people has been steadily growing. Such a typical situation is common for most countries in the world, which negatively affects children’s individuality. However, remarkably little amount of people can conceive the impact of marital separation caused to offspring. (? passive) Many children after separation of parents are exposed to a number of changes in the future. They have to be getting used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how act to children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Children of divorced parents may have a lower sense of psychological well-being than children who grew up with intact families the range of feelings that a child may encounter include: disbelief and denial, sadness, loss, loneliness, depression, anger, anxiety, fear, relief, and hope. Some children may experience long-lasting emotional effects into their adulthood that damage their ability to preserve relationships. The result of parental divorce shapes children emotionally and may impact self-esteem, future relationships, dating and marriage (Armando Loomis and Booth 895+)..
Children of divorce have a different experience during the holidays, birthdays, and other family events. The process of parental separation alone can pay a toll on a child’s psychological health. Family events may make things awkward around the parents, but that doesn’t even compare to the things children of divorce will have to deal with, even into their adult lives. Constance Matthienssen, author and mother of three, shares in her article “Harry Potter and Divorce Among the Muggles” how her divorce affected her children (“Harry Potter”). Many parents don’t think about a divorce will affect their young children as they grow older, but divorce affects children even into their adult lives. Children of divorce grow to develop negative relationships with their parents, they tend to have poor self-esteem, and they may even find themselves unable to maintain an intimate relationship in their adulthood. Divorce affects every child differently, but it can cause many social issues into their adult lives.
Every year approximately 2.4 million marriages occur.Out of those,2.1 millionwill file for divorce in the United States. These marriage and divorce rates have significantly increased since the years past(Coltrane and Adams, 364).According to Schoen, in the 1950’s, 15 out of 1,000 marriages ended in divorce.In the 1970’s, the rates of divorcedoubled,increasing to 40 per 1,000 marriages. Currently, the rate of marriages resulting in divorce remains the same. Most marriages are ending within seven years ofthemarriage for multiple different reasons. Sociologists haveestablisheddivorce as a social problem from the rise in divorcerates due to the early year of marriages (2006).
Divorce is a very common word in today's society. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, "divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage or a complete or radical severance of closely connected things"(Pickett, 2000). This dissolution of marriage has increased very rapidly in the past fifty years. In 1950 the ratio of divorce to marriage was one in every four; in 1977 that statistic became one in two. Currently one in every two first marriages results in divorce. In second marriages that figure is considerably higher, with a 67% average (National Vital Statistics Report, 2001). One critical aspect of divorce is often not taken into consideration: How it affects children. Every year 1.1 million children are affected by divorce (Benjamin, 2000). Children from divorce or separation often exhibit behavioral and long-term adjustment problems (Kelly, 2000). Throughout this paper I will discuss divorces effects on children at different age levels, how they react, and what can be done to help them.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
According to a study by McKinley Irvin (2012), “In America, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds. That 's nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year” (Divorce Facts, para. 1). Based on numbers reported in a national census, about 45% of first time marriages in the United Stated ends in divorce (“National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends”, 2015). Sadly, many families have been torn apart by divorce and it has become normal in today’s society. What was once a lifelong commitment that was cherished and taken seriously is becoming no more than a casual agreement that can be broken at any time. Many factors play a role in the breakdown of these relationships, but there are factors that have
Children of recently divorced parents tend to experience almost immediate effects from the separation and divorce. Many factors, including age, contribute to how a divorce can influence a child’s life. “Impact on children varies according to the age of the child” (Taylor and Andrews, 2009). The younger the child is when the divorce occurs appears to have less emotional and psychologically developmental impact than when the divorce occurs for older children. As the child attempts to adjust to the new norm, nearly all children of divorce begin to display noticeable short-term behaviors.
It is a well know fact that there is a high rate of divorce in America. Gone are the days of happily ever after and till death do us part. Current statistics show that 41% to 50% of first-time marriages will end in divorce, 60% -67% of second marriages will end in divorce, and 73% to 74% of third marriages will end in divorce (www.aboutdivorce.org). Although there are many reasons why married couples seek divorce, the lack of commitment, financial struggles, abuse and infidelity are the main motives couple’s file for divorce. There are those in our society that believe, in spite of these reasons, it is morally and ethically wrong to divorce. Their conviction is that it is imperative the couple stay together and work out their dissimilarities. They also believe the process of divorce has become easier; therefore, couples are finding it simpler to divorce rather than exert time, effort and money into marriage counseling.
Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship. Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious.
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.