Divorce is a Life Changing Experience

Divorce: a personal life changing experience

With this ring I thee wed…. For better or worse, for richer or poorer…. Traditionally, two people speak these words on their wedding day, the day that two become one, the day that two people begin a life together and share an unbreakable union. This may be so in some cases but not all. Divorce among Americans is rampant. In society today divorces are as common as marriages themselves. Couples meet, date, fall in love, marry, and have children and then one day: Wham! Something is just not right with the relationship anymore, so they opt for the easy way out, the big "D". They get a divorce, is this really the easy way? The legalities and dissolution of the union may be easy and painless, but what about the emotions that are still in tact? Although a divorce may be hard on the adults involved, what about the children? What happens to the kids of these broken marriages?

Some parents who are going through a divorce wonder what the effects of their decision to dissolve the marriage will be on the children. Parents worry that their divorce will cause their children emotional problems that will last a lifetime. These worries are not unsubstantiated. Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary.

Being a product of a broken home, and having my own child which is also a product of a broken home I can relate personally to the lasting effects that divorce has on a child.

My family consists of five children, which today is considered a large family. Of the five I am the youngest by six years. My parents were married for twenty-eight years before they decided that divorce was the only solution. I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage. Because of the many years my parents were married and the wide age difference between my siblings and myself I was the only child still living at home with my parents. The day my dad decided to move out was the day my life changed forever.

My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn't have to, and I knew the reasons. I had lived the reasons for as long as I was old enough to remember. The arguments, the name calling, the accusations, the past threats to move out. I was well aware of the reasons. Although there was never any physical violence there was enough screa...

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...stances but they are all just personal ones and my not be traits of children in every situation. I do know that every child of divorce is overwhelmed with everlasting emotions. I do know that every child of divorce has individual feelings depending on the situation that led up to the divorce and I do know that almost every child of divorce that I know personally, is now or has been divorced as well. I try to structure the teachings of my son about love and life in a way that he will be able to relate when he is older and ready to marry. I want his choice for a partner in life to be just that, his partner for life.

Although almost all children from broken homes are survivors, they often have lifelong emotional scars. It would be impossible for a child of any age to come through a divorce no matter how civil without some sort of emotional damage. That is why it is so important for the parents of these children to make extra efforts to be a part of their kid's lives. It is vital at any age that these parents stress to their children that even though they (the parents) may not love each other anymore the love they have for them (the children) is unconditional and never ending.