Personal Narrative: Love You Forever

From a very young age, I barely had any book time. I would occasionally ask for mama to read to me but she always looked down, frowned and said “not tonight.” All the other kids got their parents to read to them. It was no fair. I didn’t like reading, the sound of one of parent’s tired voice after dealing with their crap talking boss made me feel so comforted. My father, with his smooth baritone, reading Love You Forever as I slowly drifted into sleep, until the book inevitably ended and jolted me back awake. I would lie there, staring at the ceiling, counting to 100, counting my breaths, but it never helped. Many hours passed by until I eventually fell into a relaxing slumber.

My mother, as much as she loved reading for herself and to others,

never found time for it. Either coming home late after taking care of the finances at work or dealing with snobby parents, the bed was the best choice every time. She didn’t enjoy books that spent eighty percent of the page describing a pair of shorts but rather the novels about realistic events or straight up non-fiction. In 2nd grade, she wanted to read the church bulletin so she asked her mother the same question over and over “what does this word mean?” At first, grandma was glad to encourage my mama’s reading habits but it turned sour when grammy had had enough child curiosity. Even now my mama spends almost all of her time either working or taking care of things around the house. Like most mothers, she wishes she had more hours in a day.
My father on the other hand loved pulp fiction and comics. He was what most people would call a nerd. During the summer he spent most of his time playing dungeons and dragons or reading comics (although if you say comics around him he will spend hours explaining how they are really graphic novels). Papa was the one that got me into nerdier things like graphic novels, fantasy, and science fiction. The spectacle of a world better than the one we lived in was the most interesting thing to read. Childhood wasn’t easy for my father or me. He often read about fantastic powers and stories because he was searching for something incredibly amazing in his life. I learned to search for happiness from the outside like X-Men, Daredevil, and Ender’s Game. These people were born greats and that’s what I thought was what it took to be a great.
Growing up was a huge rollercoaster that I could not understand. My father was never happy with how much money he made and upset about how dirty the house was caused him to burst out in anger. After he had his way, in multiple ways, I would retire to the basement where I would sit and do nothing. I had complete access to the school library and my local library, but I usually didn’t get attached to any book because the character had nothing in common with me. On special occasions I would have a series of books I was flying through. Once I read the first Harry Potter book I had to read the rest. I would stay up till my father would storm in and yell at me to go to sleep. Occasionally I would look at some of the old books that my parents would read to us about loving forever and eternal happiness and wonder why I didn’t have it. At school, I wouldn’t read any of the assigned books deeming them uninteresting and not important. The most reading I did in a year was little baby books I read so I could get reading points. Eventually I read so many that I got enough points to go the reading movie night. I was ecstatic that I would be going with my older too. We watched a live action movie with cars that had eyes for headlights but I don’t remember anything about the movie because I was so shy around my brother.
In fourth grade my teacher, Mrs. Ingle, would read to us every Tuesdays and Thursdays. Being the way I was, I walked around or didn’t even listen. Often, my friends Corbin, Steven, and I would go to P.E. instead of listening to reading. The only book that I actually remember her reading to us was Inkheart and even then I don’t remember the plot at all. Reading definitely was not my strong suit, on the tests we took, reading was always my lowest and math my strongest. Whenever a teacher would say that I should read or need to read I would rather play video games instead.
Up until last year, I hated reading and writing and everything that went with it.

Now I like really like to read, I only wish I had more time. What caused me to actually like reading was a strange journey that all started with Ali trying to be a pickup artist. Now this part you may not like to read, but you will and I hope you enjoy it. But what Ali started changed my entire way of thinking. I had been taught to be a kind gentleman and always put others before myself. Until one fateful day Ali told me about kino, not kimo for cancer treatment, but kino escalation. You don’t want to know what that means itself but what was important was that in one of the comments of an article about kino, was a link to another subreddit. And in this subreddit a suggested book to read on the list of suggested books was No More Mr. Nice Guy. At the time I was feeling depressed in a strange way. I would get dopamine rushes of talking to people but if I sensed that they didn’t really like talking to me then I would crash emotionally and hate myself. No More Mr. Nice Guy taught me how to be confident and not care about what other people thought of me. Before reading I thought that the only way for people to like me was to courteous because that’s what my parents needed from me at home. Now after reading it I feel so much happier, I no longer get a pain in my stomach whenever I look at instagram and see other people hanging out and being friends without

me.
Now I am reading other books about self-improvement like Anti-Fragile, Starting Strength, and Meditations. I believe that the path of reading that I am on now will take me to great heights in life. Books are an amazing resource of knowledge and experience that is truly invaluable to me. To me, books are the experiences and that never had growing up and the information to help me become the best that I can become. Reading has helped me crush many of my bad habits like video games, phone at night, and procrastination. Reading had also helped me create positive habits like exercising, going to bed early, and discipline. I am eager to see what is in store for me as I grow and continue reading.