Muslim Culture Grief

What is Grief? Merriam-Webster ‘s online dictionary defines grief as, “deep sadness caused by someone’s death; a deep sadness; and/or a trouble or annoyance”(n.d.). This term may have a different way of impacting one’s life depending on geographical location; culture plays an important role in how those that experiences a loss or hardship, cope with grief. After further research, a closer look will be taken at the five stages associated with grief and loss, how Hindu and Islamic Muslim culture deal with death, and how cultural differences may impact the stages of grief.
There are five stages that are associated with grief and loss. A medical doctor known as Elizabeth Kubler-Ross gave an in-depth explanation of the five stages in her book, “On

Death and Dying”(1973). The stages associated with grief are, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When discussing the first stage of grief known as denial, Kubler-Ross (1973) writes, “Since in our unconscious mind we are all immortal, it is almost inconceivable for us to acknowledge that we too have to face death”(p. 36). The person, who learns of an inevitable outcome such as death, will have a difficult time accepting the truth. The second stage of grief is anger. According to Kubler-Ross (1973), “When the first stage of denial cannot be maintained any longer, it is replaced with feelings of anger, rage, envy, and resentment”(p. 37). The third stage is bargaining; the word used in this stage is one that some may often think of as a term for negotiations with others. Axelrod (n.d.) explains that one may try to bargain or deal with a creator, or omnipotent being, so they may prevent the unavoidable result of death (par. 10). The final stages, which are the fourth and fifth phases of grief and loss, are depression, and acceptance. The Mayo Clinic (n.d) defines depression as, “a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest” (par. 1). In relation to death and grieving, depression is the sadness that ensues after the first three stages of the grieving process have been reached. Depression is part of the mourning process associated with loss. Acceptance, and also the last stage of the grieving process; is coming to terms with reality and tolerating the loss that has occurred. According to Maciejewski and Prigerson (2008), “Importantly, as grief falls, acceptance of the loss rises, suggesting that grief and acceptance may be opposite sides of the same coin” (par. 4). All of the stages mentioned above consist of a process in which a person who suffers a loss, such as that of a loved one, will endure, but how death is approached and handled, may change based on the particular culture.
A look at how Hindu and Islamic Muslim culture deal with death will show some differences in relation to one another.

The way one grieves during the loss of a loved one may differentiate based on culture, but sadness is usually the one common denominator that exists universally. How one expresses their emotions, or handles death, may depend on religious and cultural influences. Gupta (2011) writes, “In India, Hindu family members are expected to cry and wail loudly as it is considered healthy to have an outburst of strong emotions” (p. 255). The manner in which Islamic Muslim culture is expected to respond to death is much different. In relation to how emotions are supposed to be expressed by Islamic Muslims when grieving, Appel and Papaikonomou (2013) write, “The emotions of crying and sadness clearly evident had to be performed in a very controlled manner, hence no screaming, shouting or wailing” (p. 455). Where crying and outbursts are acceptable in Hindu culture, Islamic Muslim culture only accepts a more controlled approach to grieving. Both cultures experience a need to demonstrate sadness when grieving, but how and where emotions are expressed, is altered based on cultural beliefs and influences. Differences in culture may also impact the five stages of grieving as explained by Dr. Kubler-Ross

(1973).
Many cultures may impact the stages of grief differently.

The way one culture responds to the anger phase of grief for example; may not be the same way another culture responds. Research has shown that culture plays a role in the grieving process associated with death. When multiple cultures were tested to determine individual impact on the grieving process, Caitlin (1993) states, “In conclusion, the present study supports the decision that bereavement is significantly shaped by cultural context” (p. 183). The five stages of grief may be experienced by various cultures; Kuehn (2013) speaks of how some cultures use the five stages of grief as a structural guideline to help with the bereavement process by stating, “This was identified as a positive cultural coping mechanism in some instances because it gives the bereaved child or adult some stability and control during a time where they may feel very vulnerable and lost” (p. 37). As there are cultures that experience and impact each stage of grief individually, there are also cultures that may not experience a particular stage when grieving. A Tibetan monk for example, may not experience anger or allow for community depression to ensue after death. According to Workman-Newkirk (n.d.), “The reason for that is that as a monk one is single, a bachelor, and not allowed to marry. This is different from other cultures where family and friends are expected to participate in the grieving process. As seen, culture impacts whether or

not the stages of grief are experienced. This all depends on what one perceives death to be and the cultural influences involved.
Overall, the five stages of grief are useful in providing structure in times of despair and sadness. Culture has proven to significantly impact the stages that Kubler-Ross spoke of in her book, but not all cultures may apply the same formula. Those who accept death as a beautiful transition, and do not have any family or friends, may not have the same emotional reaction to death as those who may go through a period of denial caused by not wanting to leave their physical body and family. The in-depth look at the five stages of grief and loss, the Hindu and Islamic cultural responses to the end of life, and how culture may respond to individual stages of grief, give a better understanding of how others respond to death and the bereavement process.