Definition Essay-The Five Stages Of Grief

Have you ever experienced grief? If so, you know it needs no definition. If you look up the definition up you will find an extremely vague description. Grief is such a vast emotion, so how can it be put in one sentence? How can grief be universally defined, when it is felt individually? Grief is abstract so therefore, cannot be that easily defined. Overall, I believe that Suzanne Finnamore said it best when she said, "Grief is a circular, irrational process with no discernible rhythm or timetable."

As you may know, grief accompanies a significant loss, like the death of a loved one. Many people assume that grief follows a definitive guideline, that it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. In my experience I find this inaccurate. Grief is contorted, and uncertain. For a moment life can seem ordinary, as if nothing transpired, you may manage to find your way back

to into your routine, you may even find some peace. This moment will be brief. Then, before you know it, you find yourself in an inescapable downwards spiral. You will catch a glimpse of something that brings back memories from the past, it may be a song, maybe a movie, a quote, or sometimes for no good reason at all you will find grief sneaking up on you like an unexpected, uninvited house guest that you're forced to entertain.

Although there are five common stages of grief, there is no particular order in which they have to occur.

These stages are reoccurring and constantly shifting.

Of course, grief leaves you shocked. Shock leads to denial which is a coping mechanism that allows you to take in the distressing event at your own pace, granting freedom from the harsh reality that is your situation, and time to process. During this period, you feel "not fully there." You will feel as though you're watching passively, helplessly, from a distance, as your whole world crumbles around you.

As you may know, anger allows you to camouflage your anguish. This animosity allows you place blame. This allows you to project your fears somewhere else for a little while, giving you time to cope. You may become enraged at God for having the power to stop something unfortunate from happening and allowing it to happen anyways. You may be furious with someone who may have caused the tragedy. Or, worst of all you may resent the loved one you lost for leaving you alone, without a goodbye. During this span you ask "Why them?", or "Why

me?".

Although naïve, you will begin to bargain. You will have this false hope that your loved one may come back if you plead or make a deal with God. You may offer to go to church more or stop a bad habit. You may even go as far as offering your own life in turn for theirs. Eventually you will find that it is hopeless. This hopelessness may lead to depression.

At some point you will experience depression. You may become stuck in this stage for what may seem like an eternity. This stage, I find is the most difficult. It is a boundless black hole that engulfs you completely. It drains your whole world of color, steals away all your happiness, and magnifies all of your sorrows.

Finally, one day you will be able to accept your loss. I could tell you that I have reached acceptance but, if I did that would be a lie. I am hopeful that one day I might and I imagine that it will be peaceful but, until then I am stuck in this ceaseless cycle of grief.

All in all, you will find that everyone has their own experience. There is no right or wrong definition of grief. But, according to Dictionary.com grief is a noun. It is the keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss. If you ask me grief is not that easily defined. Grief is unique to everyone. It knows no boundaries, it knows no depth, it has no timer, it is uncensored, it is raw. Grief is a repetitive, life altering experience that has no final place of destination.