Monologue About Water

Imagine you are trapped in a tank of deep water. You tread water for a long time. You start getting tired. You aren’t sure how much longer you’ll be able to keep your head above water. You try to stay afloat, you try to conserve your energy and pray someone will come along and help you. Time ticks on. You are so tired. You sink below the surface, but nobody is coming to save you , water starts to overtake you every second your under. Desperately, you pull to the surface, gasp for air, sink back down again. You aren’t going to make it. You have lost all hope. You’ve finally submerged under the water. My silence is just another word for my pain. It feels like a big gloomy cloud that never fades away. It’s not like I can wake up one day and say “I wanna be happy and just be happy Believe me I’ve tried” I’ve felted that in every being in my body.

I'm trapped in this prickly blanket of sadness all that surrounds me is emotional pain. People don’t know how hard it is. “Depression is living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die”. Depression makes you feel like people don’t love you even when you know they do. Doing something that’ll make you feel better but you just don’t have the right tools to do it. Feeling exhausted from trying to be stronger then I feel. Depression is the worst kind of sadness because you’re not able to explain why you feel the way you do. You start to wonder why you can’t turn the channel , the batteries must be lost, there's no way out. I hide my problems through taking on everyone else’s. My anxiety and depression isolates me from people, stops me from being able to do the things i’d love and like to do, it cuts me off socially. I’m fighting my own demon who has this hold on me, the rebirth of the Great Depression. I know people who fake