Personal Narrative: Growing Up With Depression

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Depression is quiet. I had learned that at the beginning of high school when all of the sudden, my self-depreciating thoughts had gone silent. The feeling of elation I had experienced that moment was mighty. I felt that it was too good to be true, that there was no way that I had freed myself of the depression I experienced since my childhood. And I was right. I learned that silence was deafening, it was louder than any of the hateful words I told myself.

Growing up with depression makes it harder to grow out of. My entire childhood was built around my unhappiness, it molded who I was and was a part of my identity. It’s the reason why I had no real friends, why I was always so quiet. I was shortsighted because I never thought I’d make it far, especially not to college. I remember in elementary school a time when I refused to stand up when the lunch bell rang. When my teacher asked why moving, I rested my head on the wooden desk and said, “I don’t want to eat lunch. I don’t deserve to live.” That is a terrible thing for a child to say; somehow a small kid had figured out the value of life and believed that her own was too little to even eat lunch.

Depression was not a choice. No one would choose to lose everything they loved in life. I lost enjoyment in going outside, in talking with friends, and even in eating …show more content…

I fought a war with myself and I am so proud to say that I am still standing here today due to my perseverance. I recognize that depression was a significant part in my life that shaped who I am now. I know that because of it, I am more careful in the words choose, I pick up on emotions easily, I know how to console people, and the list goes on. Despite depression being a major part of my identity for 15 years, I am proud to say that I am journeying through my life finding who I am without it. I plan to do all the things I said I couldn’t: Graduate high school, get my college diploma, find a job, and find my

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