Mental Illness In Kerry Kletter's The First Time She Drowned

Mental illness is a stigma around teenagers and needs more representation. In The First Time She Drowned, Kerry Kletter shines a light on the ups and downs of mental illnesses. Cassie O’Malley was wrongly committed to a mental institution. She is now set free and can restart her life. During this journey, she faces difficulties with her mental health and her poor mother-daughter relationship. Cassie must decide to dive into her past in order for her to move forward. This is an exceptional book because it captures the reality of mental illnesses, the character development of Cassie and teaches the readers a life lesson.

To start off, mental illness is a big theme of this book. Cassie and James, both best friends at the mental hospital. The only difference is Cassie got the help that she needed and James did not. Kletter writes about the harsh reality of mental illnesses and that some people do not find the light that others do. James got released from the mental hospital and a couple days later he killed himself. Cassie

said, “I didn’t help him, I didn’t stop him, didn’t even know he was in that much pain” (Kletter 298). She thought James was going to be okay when he left the hospital and the hospital thought he was well enough to be let out. The reality of mental illnesses is that some people do not make it out and Kletter touched on that topic perfectly. Cassie, fortunately, got lucky and got the help she needed.
Secondly, Cassie’s character developed well throughout the book.

She always wanted her mother's approval, she would damage her own mental health and ruin any relationship to try and get it. Cassie would do anything to make her mother happy, she “had to fix the thing in [her] mother's face that looked broken. The thing that [she] felt that [she] had broken” (Kletter 55). Cassie almost ruined one of her relationships with a boy because of what her mother said. “It's Chris. He starts walking towards me, and in that moment of space before memory kicks in, I am happy. Then I hear my mother's voice assuring me that all he wants is sex” (Kletter 229). Cassie was happy with Chris until her mother mentioned that all he wanted was sex. During the duration of the book, Cassie realizes how toxic her relationship is with her mother and decides to cut ties with her. She became aware that her mother is sick and that the way to start loving herself is to let

go.
Lastly, Kletter may touch on the fact that some people do not make it out but she shows at the end of the book that if you try and you get help things can get better. Cassie was in the mental hospital for two and a half years, well she was in there she was “never an active participant in any of the therapy they tried to force on [her]” (Kletter 202). Once Cassie addressed her problems and saw that she really needed the therapy, she started to see her school counsellor and began to turn her life around. She rekindled her relationship with her little brother and Chris, and she explained to her roommate about her problems. Cassie could have stayed sheltered and keep her negative thoughts about counselling but once she opened her eyes she saw that she really did need the help. Cassie is not fully recovered but is working her way to it.
In conclusion, this book is remarkable because of the raw approach Kletter takes to capture mental illnesses, she writes about the real-life struggles of teenagers and how mental health is a big issue in their lives. The growth of the characters also helps bring this book together, the readers follow along Cassie’s journey and grow an attachment to her. Lastly, the lessons she teaches throughout the book can help bring light to real life problems. This book is a marvelous read for anyone struggling with a mental illness.