Masculinity Argumentative Essay

Almost every week, the news covers a story involving sexual harassment or sexual assault. Whether it is a group of fraternity members yelling slurs at a homosexual couple, President Donald Trump talking about the power he had over females because of his celebrity status, or a college athlete that rapes an unconscious girl at a party, these types of stories seem to have one one commonality: men are the perpetrators. Not to say that females do not participate in actions of sexual violence, just recognizing the fact that the majority of perpetrators of sexual assault are male (Greenfeld, 1997). In order to get a better understanding of why males tend to participate in sexual violence, this essay will examine the pressures put on males to prove their masculinity. This essay will detail the ways in which I have witnessed and even committed acts of sexual violence to prove masculinity; it will also display how I intend on erasing the idea that participating in sexual violence

verifies masculinity.
All people that identify as male in today’s society will tell you that we feel like our masculinity is being questioned at all times. Men are programed from a young age to believe that being masculine means we are suppose to be aggressive, assertive, confident, and powerful. This is the reason we drive pick-up trucks, shoot guns, get in fist fights, and say “rub some dirt on it” when someone gets hurt. Actions like these enable us to tell the rest of the world that we have penises; without physically showing our sexual organs. This is why men are more prone to engage in sexual violence.
Sexual violence can be numerous things, but it is generally separated into two groups: sexual harassment and sexual assault. Although the two do overlap on certain levels, sexual harassment typically refers to unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature, while sexual assault refers to intentional sexual contact by use of force, threats, intimidation, abuse of authority or when the victim does not or cannot consent (Lagan, 2014). Both actions infer that a perpetrator is forcefully putting themself on a victim. In a certain sense, the perpetrator is trying to show that they are in control over the victim. Therefore, actions of sexual violence are also actions of masculinity, because both are defined as being powerful and assertive.
I think most women believe that men are only trying to prove their masculinity to women, when in reality that is the least of our worries.

Yes, there is something very primal about a man proving his worth for a women, in order to win her over; but what men fear the most is having our masculinity being questioned by other men. In my own experiences, I found that men are more likely to try to prove their masculinity to a room full of men, than a room full of women. This can be seen in the form of sexual harassment coined as “locker room talk.” Locker room talk is term developed to justify the extremely offensive and inappropriate way men communicate to other men when women are not present. Hence the name, referring to a men’s locker room. Most of the dialogue consists of sexualizing women in a way that shows males how masculine you are. I have been on many sports teams and in a large number of clubs that consist of only men; speaking this way has been accepted as a part of male dominated

culture.
One way, I have witnessed men trying to prove their masculinity to woman is through a form of sexual assault known as “coping a feel.” Referring to how police can get away with certain things a normal person would have to face consequences for. Coping a feel is a term that tries to justify the groping of another human being. Managing a bar, I have seen people do a lot of stupid things, but the dumbest is when I see men walk up to women and touch them inappropriately. This is probably the only wrong action that usually happens in the bar that I have zero tolerance for. There is only one explanation that I can begin to fathom for such a repulsive action: that a man must feel so intimidated by a woman, that he feels the need to touch them in a way that shows he has power over them.
Although I have never participated in coping a feel, I have participated in locker room talk. It sickness me to admit it, but I cannot honestly say I have never once used this form of communication. There is a sense of intimidation felt when a bunch of your teammates or buddies are talking about how attractive some girl is or what they did to some girl. I guess I joined in on such vulgar communication because I felt that it would demonstrate that I was a man because I thought I knew how to talk like one. What I can say, is that I really do try and avoid using locker room talk; not only because of how gross and demeaning it truly is, but also I have come to realize that I do not need to prove my masculinity to anyone. From now on when I hear locker room talk I wont just pretend not to hear it, I will call the person out for it. Men need to hear from other men that sexualizing women is not proving their masculinity at all. The only thing they are doing is proving there insecurities as a man.
What I have learned over the past few years of my life is that the only person I need to prove anything to, is myself. This is one way I am going to help erase the idea that participating in sexual violence is a way to validate a man’s masculinity. Someday, I hope I am lucky enough to have a kids. Whether the choose to identify with their biological gender or not, I will teach them to never let someone else question who they are or how they feel. Teaching my children this lessen will hopefully inspire them to also never judge anyone based on their gender or sexual orientation, which would be my ultimate goal as a parent.
Making it known to my female workers and costumers that they should tell me when they feel uncomfortable around a particular person in the bar, is another way I am going to help erase the idea that participating in sexual violence is a way to validate a man’s masculinity. I do believe that most of the female workers can come up to me with this sort of problem, but I think many of the female costumers either forget or are afraid to. I will try and make it known that the bar has a zero tolerance for any form of sexual violence by posting a memo both in the entrance of the bar and on all of our social media accounts. This way even if a woman has not been in the bar before she can see that we provide a safe environment.